


Long Time - PERMANENT HIATUS!

by Gamergirl2170



Series: Past & Future [2]
Category: Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Adoptive Hawke Sibling, Eventual Relationships, F/F, F/M, Fenris in Dragon Age: Inquisition, M/M, Modern Girl in Thedas, Other, Platonic Relationships, Zevran in Dragon Age: Inquisition
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-23
Updated: 2018-03-26
Packaged: 2018-11-04 01:53:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 21
Words: 52,721
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10979925
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gamergirl2170/pseuds/Gamergirl2170
Summary: I fell, not in love, or off the roof, or something, I just fell, and fell, and fell, and when I finally landed? I woke up in Thedas, where nobody could understand, but I could understand them. To top that off, I was practically adopted by Leandra Hawke, then I was thrown into the events of DA2, and follow that by falling again, and waking up in a hauntingly familiar place in the Fade.Good Gods, am I the Herald of Andraste?!Anything that is underlined, means it's in Kaleigh's native language. If it's in past tense and italics, it's in the past, and if it's just italic without quotations, it's a thought.





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Prologue is in past tense, because it is in the past.

 

_ ~Prologue~ _

 

_ My life was boring, plain, ordinary, average. Nothing ever happens in my life,  _ **_nothing._ ** _ It’s possibly because I was the most boring, average person ever to live. I went to school part time, studying to be a paramedic, I worked part time as a bartender, all of my free time was spent, either volunteering as a stable hand in a farm on the edge of town, or volunteering at the local soup kitchen, just like my sisters, and my mother, and my father, and my brothers, and just like every other person in my town. My life was boring, average, plain, ordinary, nothing  _ **_ever_ ** _ happened, in my life, or my town, but that’s just the way things were. But then I… well, I fell. Not in love, or off a roof or anything, one minute I was asleep in my bed, the next I was falling, and I kept falling, I wasn’t going anywhere, I just was… falling, and when I finally landed, it was in the strangest place. _

 

_ I woke up in the dark of the night, in  _ **_Thedas_ ** _ of all places. I only know that, because I was about to be skewered alive by a darkspawn, when an arrow came out of nowhere, and cut the demonic creature down- when I came around after fainting at the blood and body, I was in a camp. The camp belonged to, none other than, the  _ **_Hawke_ ** _ family, and while conversation was difficult, (because I could understand them, they could not understand me), we manage to determine that my name is Kaleigh, and that I was to travel with them to Gwaren, to escape the oncoming Blight. When we met with Aveline and her husband, Wesley, I had stepped between the poisoned Templar and Bethany, much to everyone’s surprise, and when Carver went down, I did CPR as much as I could, until Flemeth appeared, and assured me that he was truly dead. With the witch of the wild (slash woman possessing the ancient spirit of Mythal) helping, I traveled with Aveline, and the Hawke family, to Kirkwall, where Leandra practically adopted me, she taught me to read, to speak the language, and to write, while Elijah (the Hawke that apparently is an archer) taught me to defend myself with daggers. _

 

_ Once I could speak well enough, and fight well enough, I went around with Bethany and Elijah, helping them with quests and jobs, though I started to distance myself when they started getting companions, especially when Varric had stuck me with the nickname Gizmo (for my love of creating little gadgets and such). Everything became worse when Bethany died in the Deep Roads- for Leandra, for Elijah, and for myself- she attempted to replace her daughter with me, dressing me in noble clothes, never letting me leave the mansion unless herself, or Elijah, were at my side, it had gotten so bad that people were calling me Serah or Lady Hawke. When Leandra went missing, I used that chance to leave, I took my money that I had saved from my job at The Hanged Man, and I hopped on a boat. I sailed for Ferelden. I sailed for Ferelden and I traveled the roads that the Warden had took, I slept in  ancient elven ruins, and hunted for my food, and I took what nature gave, returning in equal. When the circle rebellions began, I started toward Haven, but as I laid down to sleep one night, I started to fall again, but this time, I woke up to an all too familiar scene, and  _ **_that is where our true story began._ **


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Well... Shit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Changed some stuff, didn't want to follow all of the dialogue word for word, or the interactions. Also, lots of cussing. Main character's a potty mouth. XD

_~Chapter One~_

My head pulses as I blink open my eyes, groaning as I lift myself to my knees, lethargy seeps into my bones as my left hand aches, like I landed on it wrong, a humid chill crawls up my spine as I look around the deserted place I am in, perspiration beads on the back of my neck, my hair had fallen out of it's ponytail holder before I had awoken. My head pulses at my temple as a clicking, skittering noise fills my ears, causing me to turn my torso, discovering nearly half a dozen to a dozen giant ass spiders hurrying toward me. " _Nnnnnnnnnoooooooppppppeeeeee_!" I shout as I scramble over myself to run away, my eyes wide as I can hear them chasing after me. "Nope nope nope! Nope to the fucking NOPE!" I scream at the top of my lungs as I race up the incline before me, the abrupt shift in terrain slows the spider creatures down, when a golden figure appears before me.  
  
The figure is glowing, her hand outstretched as my brow furrows. "You've got to be kidding me! Freaky Ass Spiders, or Scary Stranger Ass Golden Girl?" I look behind me, realizing that the spiders are closing in. "Fuck that!" I clasp hands with the figure as everything goes white, landing on the hard groan in a sharp jolt that knocks the wind out of me, everything goes dark as soon as I attempt to push myself up on my hands, only to fall, face first, into the dirt again.  
  
The second time I wake up, I am shackled, on my knees, in a dark, damp, prison thingy. "Shit. Oh my _shit_." I whisper under my breath as my hand sparks, sharp pain shoots through my arm as green bounces off it. There is a loud clinking of the door, my head snaps up to find a bunch of soldiers, you can tell by their uniforms of plate armor, green and orange fabric, come in with swords drawn from their hip, circling and surrounding me, when a dark haired, all too familiar, Seeker walks in, her scar tugged tight in her scowl, followed by the more understanding, favorite of mine, Leliana, in her blue hood and chainmail robes, she crosses her arms over her chest, leaning against the wall beside the door as the Seeker glares directly at me, pacing, stalking back and forth before me.

  
"Tell me why we shouldn't kill now? The Conclave is destroyed and all who attended? Dead!" She clenches her fist. "Except you."  
  
" _Shit shit shit._ I-I can’t tell you what happened, I don’t know!" I answer as I look at the stone floor before me, my brain is too muddled to make out what's happening, if it’s truly happening.  
  
"Explain this!" Cassandra stalks forward, grabs my left hand, she shoves it into my face, it sparks, and ignites with a blistering green, as if on cue, causing me to rasp in pain.  
  
"I-I can't!" I stammer as I feel a pulsing behind my right eye, a headache from the bright light as Cassandra throws me back onto the floor, growling.  
  
"What do you mean, you can't?!" She demands, causing me to bite my lip as Leliana steps forward, grabbing the other woman by the arm, and leads her to the door.  
  
"Breathe Cassandra, we need her for the moment." Leliana's words are harsh, though her tone is gentle.  
  
"Listen, whatever I tell you, you'll choose not to listen, and blame me for everything anyway!" I snap, they turn to glance at me, before Cassandra speaks up, causing Leliana to pause, turning to me as she drops her arms at her side, blue eyes narrowed in on me.  
  
"Do you remember what happened? How this started?" She demands, causing me to sigh, looking at the stone floor before me.  
  
"I remember lying down to sleep, the falling. I fell for… it felt like years, then I landed- before, running, things chasing me, they... looked like spiders, but I don't think they were. Then, a woman? She... reached out to help me." My brow furrows as I bite my bottom lip. “I made a choice, eaten by spiders, or reach for the woman, I chose the woman.”  
  
"A woman?" Leliana takes a large step back, her eyes widen as I nod, this time Cassandra steps up, grasping Leliana's arm to direct her to the door.  
  
"Go to the forward camp, Leliana, I will take her to the rift." Cassandra mediates. After agreeing to help, Cassandra walks with me through the village, people glare as she explains the death of the Divine, and how my guilt has been decided, when someone throws a stone at me, hitting me in the eye, causing me to cringe as I feel the skin split across my eyebrows.  
  
"MONSTER!" Someone tells, before they bombard me with more trash and rocks, suddenly Cassandra draws her sword.  
  
" **IF ANYONE HURTS OR TOUCHES THE GIRL AGAIN, THEY WILL ANSWER TO ME**!" She brandishes her sword, causing me to frown as the villagers all disperse, she stops at the blacksmith, where she gives me some more protective clothes, allowing me to change into them from my traveling rags. Slipping into black leather trousers, a dark red corset with black sleeves winding down my arms, keeping my black boot on, I notice a scrap of leather, like a band, on the snowy ground, so I grab it. Twisting the band in my curls to pull them back into a braid, Cassandra watched curiously, before she escorts me towards the bridge. The doors open once we cross, leading to a path littered with corpses, broken and burning wagons, a few soldiers running toward us, one even cries out about the end of the world, causing my heart to pulsate, jumping into my throat. We’re not very far, when the Breach in the sky fluctuates, causing the mark in my hand to spit and sputter angry, causing pain to wrack my body, my legs giving out as I land on my knees, and Cassandra wait until it dies out to approach me. “The pulses are coming faster now.” She pats my shoulder, helping me stand as I shake my head, throwing my arms out in a, _what the hell_ , kind of move.

 

“Was that supposed to comfort me? Because that was a hell of a job that you just did.” I taunt, causing her to frown, before starting ahead of me.

 

“L-Let’s just move on.” She stammers out as I follow, rubbing at my right eye with my unscarred hand, wincing as the headache behind my eye intensifies for a moment, before fading away. _I haven’t had a cluster migraine in years._ My mind points out, but I shake my head, hurrying after an impatient looking Cassandra. Crossing the second bridge, we only manage to get halfway when the sky sputters and spits flaming green meteors out of the hole, one crashes into the bridge, causing it to collapse under our feet, landing on the iced river below, harshly. I groan as I roll to my feet beside the coarse seeker, a shadow glides across the ice, before patches of green fade start to crops up before us, it finally spits out a Shade demon, causing Cassandra to draw her shield from her back, unsheathing her sword.

 

“Fuck! _Forgot about this part_ ” I mutter frantically under my breath, thankful that only I heard it.

 

"Demons! Stay behind me!" Cassandra calls, charging the creature with the swing on her sword. A smaller shadow glides across the ice, it starts to bubble and crystalize on a few feet before, grabbing my attention as a shade slowly starts to claw it’s way out of the ice. I panic when I spot two daggers only five feet from me, one laying on the ice, the other propped against a box that fell with us. Bouncing on the toes of my boots, my fingers drumming against my legs as I glance between the demon, Cassandra, and the daggers, before I dash over to the daggers, snatching the up as the demon finally stands to it's full height, completely towering over me at eight foot.  
  
"Shit shit shit!" I cry as I twirl the daggers in hand, feeling an electric and icy shock shoot up both of my arms, and a simple glance down at the pommels tell me they're enchanted with both an electricity and ice rune, causing me to smirk. _Come on, Hawke didn’t train me for nothing_. I remind myself. The demon starts to charge me as I brandish my blades, sinking one into the inky stomach of the demon, before slanting the other into it's chest, causing them to get stuck. The demon raises it's clawed arms above it's head, causing my heart to jolt with adrenaline rushing into my veins. My feet move by themselves, running up the front of the demon, giving a sharp tug at my blades as I kick off, landing in a backflip, facing the opposite direction of the demon as I swing my arms back, plunging them into the beast with a sharp jerk, causing it to roar in pain, falling off my blades in black ash as it dies. Panting a little, for breath, I stand from my kneeling position as Cassandra turns to me, I swipe a stray curl from my eyes, breathing in deeply. "I think that's all for the moment."  
  
"Drop your weapons!" She orders, point the sword tip into my face, causing me to scoff out a mirthless laugh.  
  
"You have _got_ to be kidding me. Fine!" I snap, going to release my grasp on both blades.  
  
"Wait," I pause, looking up at her in skepticism. "I cannot protect you from everything, and I cannot expect you to stay unarmed- let's continue on." She starts down a path to the right. "I should remember that you came along, willingly." She turns her torso back to me, offering a friendly smile as I grab a set of sheaths from the body of a dead soldier, pressing my blades into the sheaths as I remain silent. A fight or two later, we’re climbing the pathway to a hill, when I can hear it, mean that Cassandra no doubt hears it. “Quickly, you can hear the fighting!”

 

“Who’s fightin- _Shit_ .” I cut myself off as I remember, my head swirling as I swallow thickly, my stomach clenches and twists, both in regret and anticipation as we round to the battle, a group of soldiers, _the_ elf, and an all too familiar dwarf are fighting around a floating, green ball of crystallized Fade. Without looking at Cassandra, I grab my daggers from my sheath, twirling them as I charge onto the battle, my blood humming with adrenal secretion as I stop behind on of the demons attacking the elven mage, slicing and hacking at the ink skin of the Shade. It falls off my blades in ash as I turn, slicing and hacking through one or another, staying behind the demons at all cost, when the final demon falls, _the_ elf snatches up my arm by the wrist, shoving my hand towards the large rip in the air.

 

“Quickly, before more come through!” He crows. The mark connects with the rift, snatching my breath from my chest, the ache before my right eye intensifies as the rift ripples, attempting to force itself open, when I press harder, my lungs scream a bit, it feels as if my flesh is being torn from my bone, and my heart hammers in my chest, but the rift liquefies, the wavers, then snaps shut, causing me to let out a ragged gasp as I stumble backwards, ripping my hand from Solas’ grasp, looking at my hand, then back at the elf. “I see my theory was correct.” He says.

 

“Theory?” I ask, my tone a bit breathless from that experience.

 

“I theorized that whatever magic opens the Breach, left that mark on your hand… that we might be able to use your mark, to close the rifts.” He explains.

 

“In turn, it might just close the Breach itself!” Cassandra exclaims.

 

“It is possible.” Solas turns to Cassandra.

 

“Ya seem to know a lot about it.” I point out, drawing the elf’s curious look.

 

“He is an apostate, whose studies lay within the fade itself.” Cassandra explains to me, carefully.

 

“Indeed, Seeker, while your prisoner is no mage, she does have magic in her blood. Even so, I find it difficult to believe anyone hold such power.” Solas says, causing me stomach to drop. _What a_ **_bold faced_ ** _lie!_ I find myself thinking as Solas turns to me. “It seems though, that you hold the key to our salvation.”

 

“Good to know!” I whirl around, my heart lifting, but a face falling at the familiar voice. “And here I thought we’d be ass deep in demons forever.” Varric looks up, his eyes widening, mouth dropping open as he fiddles with his gloves.

 

“Well damn, Varric, if you’re here, then I guess I’d better let you and Bianca get to it, huh?” I retort, feeling a smirk cross my lips, as I roll all of my weight the one hip, pressing a hand to said hip.

 

“By the Creator’s hairy ass!” Varric lets out a disbelieving laugh. “Gizmo?”


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fair warning- I hadn't slept for over 24 hours, when I first started this chapter... There are typos, and puns... mostly puns. Enjoy! ^-^

_~Chapter Two~_

 

“By the Creator’s hairy ass!” Varric lets out a disbelieving laugh. “Gizmo?” He shifts his weight between his feet, lips twitching into a smirk. Bianca is strapped to his back, he fidgets with his fingerless gloves, watching me.

 

“Nah, it’s Fenris in a dress.” I tease, causing the dwarf to snort in laughter, rolling his eyes as I smirk.

 

“Broody wouldn’t look good in a dress.” Varric answers, causing me to let out a sharp laugh, tugging at my braid a bit.

 

“Would’ve went with Anders, but he wears dresses every day.” That causes Varric to full out laugh, boisterous and round, holding his stomach as he cackles, happily as he leans over, attempting to capture his breath.

 

“ _My_ name is Solas, if there are to be introductions.” Solas finally steps in, leaning against his staff. “I am pleased to see you yet live.” I turn to him, narrowing my eyes to show I’m both watching him, but I am not a threat. If this turns out to be a game of cat and mouse, I _refuse_ to be the mouse.

 

“Give it a week.” Varric quips, causing me whirl around on my heels, gasping in a playfully hurt way, gaping as he winks at me.

 

“I beg your pardon?” Solas asks, his tone is confused as I let out a laugh, finally unable to hold it in anymore.

 

“So, Varric!” I snicker behind my hand. “Didn’t peg you for the holy type. When did you join the Chantry?” My joke has Solas chuckling, my heart jumps at the sound, and I raise an eyebrow at the dwarf.

 

“What can I say? I look good in the Chantry robes!” He answers, Cassandra lets out a disgusted sound, marching forward, Varric and I fall into step behind her, Solas taking up the rear of our little group.

 

“Oh, I have no doubt! Must show off that beard hair that fell onto your chest.” I counter, I notice the mirthfully confused look that Solas gives following that statement.

 

“Shame you left so early, Broody missed having you to dance with, around his mansion, and Blondie was gonna show you two his Spicyshimmy, finally!” I burst into laughter, flicking the fringe, of my red locks, out of my face, my bottle green eyes focusing on the road ahead as Varric and I exchange quips.

 

“Still telling people the Hawke family, Aveline, and I flew to Kirkwall on a dragon? Must be bringing the heat.” Varric groans as I let out a laugh at my pun.

 

“Still doing the unbearable puns!” Varric cries, exuberantly undignified as I narrow my eyes, daringly, causing him to watch me warily.

 

“Ah, come now, Varric, I have a _burning_ question for you! Don’t these puns make you a little _hot_ under the collar? I know you _lava_ good pun fight!” I nudge the dwarf playfully, who groans playfully in return. After another fight on the mountain path, we round up the mountainside, the playful air between Varric and I has dispersed.

 

“You really could’ve give us some warning.” Varric suddenly says, shattering the silence tersely. “We came back to the mansion, you were… You were gone.” The dwarf looks up at me, eyes holding a range of emotions.

 

“I said good-bye.” I retort, he sighs, fondling Bianca’s pommel, eyeing every scratch, remembering every battle, the good and the bad.

 

“To Daisy. To me. To Broody. To Bruno. That’s three people and a dog.” Varric answers, causing me to roll my eyes.

 

“I said good bye, but if I had waited to leave, who’s to say Elijah would’ve let me?” I inquire, Varric tilts his head at me. “Remember how Leandra was, with Bethany’s death?” Varric pauses, mid step, before glancing down in thought, before looking over at me, eyes full of understanding.

 

“He became more protective of everyone, especially after you disappeared.” Varric shakes his head, falling back into step beside me. “So, where did you go? You are exactly from… _around_ here.” He gestures wildly with his arms, as if to show that he meant the whole Earth, and I smile, rolling my eyes at him.

 

“Traveled for awhile. I followed the path of the Hero Warden, visited Ostagar, slept in ancient ruins, hunted with nature. I _lived_.” I answers, my heart lifts as I remember my time amongst the trees, and wandering into the Arbor Wilds, and trailing the intricate carvings, found in the wood.

 

“You didn’t break any more bones, did ya? You were more careful, not having Blondie around to heal ya all the time?” Varric clucks like a worried mother hen, I notice his eyes trailing over my face and arms for any bruises, or oddly set bones.

 

“Contrariwise, I’m not as clumsy as you think. It’s just…” I look down in thought.

 

“Yeah yeah, buildings aren’t trees.” Varric answers for me.

 

“I am sorry, but _trees?_ ” Cassandra finally asks, causing me to beam up at her.

 

“Gizmo here has a habit of climbing trees.” Varric explains.

 

“That is not so bad.” Solas points.

 

“Oh, sorry, climbing and _sleeping_ in trees.” Varric clarifies, causing both the warrior and the elf to look at me, both have an odd expression on their faces while I walk ahead, my arms stretched out, and tucked behind my head as I smile mirthfully. “She slept in the one in the market square in Hightown, before the templars chased her off, and Leandra started making her sleep in an actual bed.”

 

“Trees are more comfortable here.” I state, turning back to look at them. We come upon another rift at the gate to the Forward Camp, more demons pouring out of it, more soldiers fighting. Unsheathing my daggers, I jump into the fray, slicing and hacking at the wraiths, one shoots a ghostly flame ball at me, and I drop to the ground, rolling out of the way. Jumping up, I slash and hack as fast as I can at the wraith, which droops towards the ground in a slimey green puddle, before snapping back up into the rift, as if it was a slurped up noodle. As soon as the last wraith is swallowed by the rift, I whirl around on the balls of my feet, throwing my hand out, causing the rift to connect, having the same reaction to the first. It snatches my breath from my chest, the ache settles behind my right eye once more as the rift ripples, attempting to force itself open, while I battle for it close, causing me to I press harder. My lungs scream a bit, it feels as if my flesh is being stripped from the bone, layer by layer, my heart hammers in my chest, but the rift liquefies, then the rift wavers, then snaps shut, causing me to let out a ragged gasp.

 

“Open the gate!” Cassandra calls as I stumble backwards, Varric catches me, helping me stay on my feet, and I blink against the spots in my vision. “It’s clear, for the moment.” She breathes in relief as my knees quake, and my hands shake as I sheath my blades, pressing a had to my forehead.

 

“You okay there, Gizmo?” Varric asks, his tone is soft, but he knows the answer, the reason for this reaction, isn’t just from the rift alone.

 

“I’ve been better.” I answer, causing him chuckle, a bit hoarsely, before he helps me through the gates, to the nearest crate, and pulls out a piece of muslin from his pack, which he opens in the palm of his hand. The muslin has dried jerky, a piece of bread, and some apple slices wrapped in it, he hands it to me as I roll my eyes, letting out a knowing, quiet, and self-deprecating chuckle, taking the muslin in my hand. “Thanks. Still remember?”

 

“Eh, old habits are hard to break- looks like it’s a good thing.” He answer as I bite into an apple slice, grimacing at him, after I polish off the apple slices, half the bread, and a large portion of the jerky, we approach Leliana and the Chancellor.

 

“Ah, here they come.” I roll my eyes as Chancellor Roderick stands up straight, arrogance in his tone, as though he is better than me, Leliana doesn’t stand far behind him, arms crossed, the Chancellor gestures wildly at me.

 

“You made it!” She cries, obvious relief in her tone. “Chancellor Roderick, this is-”

 

“I know what _it_ is!” The Chancellor hisses, cutting the spymaster off, who narrows her eyes threateningly towards the Chancellor.

 

“As Grand Chancellor of the Chantry, I hereby order you to chain this demon, and escorts it to Val Royeaux for trial and execution!” The Chancellor shouts, jabbing his finger in my chest, causing my fist to clench, and my jaw to clench, teeth grinding as Varric rests a comforting hand on my arm.

 

“Order me? _You_ are a glorified clerk! A bureaucrat!” Cassandra scoffs in disbelief, step forward to slice a hand through the air, punctuating her objection.

 

“And you are a thug, but a thug that supposedly serves the Chantry!” The Chancellor’s face is turning red at the blatant disregard towards his pretend authority of power, shaking his head.

 

“We serve the Most Holy, Chancellor, as you well know!” Leliana snarls in anger, looking away from the bureaucrat, fists clenching in the folds of her arms, for a second, I’m a bit worried she might punch or maim the man.

 

“Justinia is _dead_ ! That _thing_ killed it!” He yells, throwing his arms up, my worry instantly evaporates, and I find _myself_ wanting to punch the man. “We must elect a replacement, and follow _her_ orders on the matter!”

 

“I am _right_ here! I am not invisible, and I am **_not_ ** a demon!” I hiss, feeling heat crawling up the back of my neck from my anger.

 

“You shouldn’t even **be** here!” The Chancellor spits out, before I can check myself, I am stepping forward, my foot planted firmly on the Chancellor’s, fist twisting in his robes, I yank him down so hard that our head connect, and the tips of our noses are barely touching.

 

“ _Shut your mouth, and listen to me, you egomaniacal, flaccid, nug humping, son of an arsebiscuit pissmonger._ ” Roderick gasps, as if my words astound him. “ _I am tired! I am cold! I am hungry! And I am the best chance you have for saving your selfish sorry ass. Got it?!_ ” I snarl into his face, the others are silence as I lift my foot from the Chancellor’s shoving him back as I release his robes, and take a deep breath in. “Alright, I’m fine.” I state, causing everyone else to relax.

 

“Call a retreat, Seeker, our position here is hopeless.” Roderick says, tone taking on a defeated edge, as if just a little more needling, and he’ll break.

 

“We can stop this, _before_ it’s too late.” Cassandra argues, causing me to nod firmly.

 

“ _How_ ? You won’t survive long enough to reach the temple, even with all of your soldiers!” Roderick argues. _What a downer_.

 

“We **_must_ ** get to the temple! It is the quickest route.” Cassandra answers, causing me to nod once again, crossing my arms over my chest.

 

“But, not the safest!” Leliana interjects, drawing attention back to the spymaster. “Our forces can charge as a distraction, while we go through the mountains.” I shake my head.

 

“That’s too dangerous, we’ve lost contact with a whole patrol on that mountain path!” Cassandra disputes. “It’s too risky.” I look up at the mountain, feeling my stomach sink. _If we go up there, I_ **_will_ ** _fall to my death- I just know it._

 

“Listen to me. Abandon this now, before more lives are lost!” Roderick begs, suddenly the ground quakes as the Breach flares to life, my mark snapping and snarling as I grimace, attempting to fight the pain, Varric looks up at me, eyes translating his worry without words. _We both know, if this fighting continues, I’m going to die._ I think to myself, looking down at my hand, both my mark and the Breach die down, the others watching.

 

“How do _you_ think we should proceed?” Cassandra asks, causing me to sigh.

 

“I’m not a strategist! You’re asking what I think?!” My tone is sharp, disbelief cutting through everyone around us.

 

“ _You_ have the mark.” Solas reasons.

 

“And you are the one we must protect.” Cassandra adds, causing my stomach to plummet.

 

“I can’t take the mountain path, I’ll surely die, but there is a rift up there,” Varric holds up a hand when Cassandra goes to inquire about my knowledge. “But, there is also a rift on the path with the soldiers, there are so many factors. It’s too dangerous to take the mountain path, but Leliana,” I glance over at her. “you should send spies up there, your missing patrol? Fighting, non stop fighting, against the demons pouring from the rift.” The spymaster nods. “We charge with the soldiers, I won’t live long enough for your trials.”

 

“Then let us hurry.” Cassandra answers, the four of us starting forward as I tug at the end of my braid, a nervous tick.

 

“On _your_ head be the consequences, Seeker.” The Chancellor spits, causing me to roll my eye, falling into step beside the woman.

 

“How did you know that information, about the mountain path?” Cassandra inquires, causing me to smile cryptically at her.

 

“Ah, Gizmo just knows what she knows.” Varric explains. “We learned to roll with it.”

 

“But, how-”

 

“I can tell people things about them, that even their closest companions don’t know.” I shoot a pointed look at Solas, who’s face falls, realization sparks behind his eyes, and blood drains from his face, leaving him to look ashen. “ _But_ , I find that most things are incorrect, than what I _think_ I know, and that it’s more valuable to learn about a person through their own mouths. The past doesn’t matter, there is nothing we can do to change it. The future is undetermined, we have no idea what is yet to come. It’s most important to reflect of the now, to do our best while we can.” I smile as I turn to them, walking backwards, my arms behind my head once again. ““Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift of God, which is why we call it the present.”- Bil Keane.” I turn back around, starting forward.

 

“Ah Gizmo, always saying the smartstuff.” Varric chuckles.

 

“Nah, it’s only when I want to sound all sagely, and smart. If I have no interest in something, I won’t talk about it.” I state, causing Varric to nod, falling quiet. “Not stealing my sagely advice for your books, Varric, I demand compensation.”

 

“If they are not your quotes, how can you be compensated for them?” Solas inquires.

 

“That’s true, but because _I_ am providing quotes never before heard in this world, then perhaps if Varric uses them in his books, they become mine?” I counter, causing Varric to chuckle.

 

“But, if they’re famous in your realm, then would that still be considered plagiarism?” Varric asks, causing me to groan, pressing my head to my palm, rubbing.

 

“All this talk of semantics, it’s making my head hurt.” I taunt, causing Varric and Solas to both burst into laughter. _I hope it can be like this for a while now_ . I think to myself, smiling down at my old friend, who smiles back, the both of nodding. _Maybe, things can be like they used to, again._


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Forward Camp was fun, but is the rest of the journey? And who exactly is the young man, named Declan, who called out to Kaleigh at the Breach?

 

 _~Chapter Three~_  

 

Walking toward the stairs that lead to the ruins of the Temple of Sacred Ashes, a body flies down the steps, causing me to freeze for a moment, before rushing over to the limp figure, rolling him onto his back, and despite the burns on his face, I press my fingers to his pulse point, before I lower my head. Standing up, I turn back to the others, Varric looks a bit hopeful, but I shake my head, causing him to sigh, and we continue on. Up the stairs, into the fight surrounding the rift, my blades bouncing and clanging off demons, slicing through the flesh of the terror demons, and sinking into the ghostly figure of the wraiths.

 

I notice Cullen is holding a shield over a soldier’s head, leaving himself vulnerable for an attack, I am not the only one that notices, a terror demon screeches, dropping into the ground, ready to lay a trap, preparing to attack. When it appears again, it’s right before the Commander, arms thrown high, preparing to strike as I find myself gliding across the ground, sinking my blades into the terror demon’s stomach, causing it to screech, piercing my ears as Cullen helps the man from the ground, he scurries away as Cullen turns to me in thanks. Standing from being disoriented, I swing the blade in my right hand, at the terror demon, followed by the left, repeatedly until it drops dead, fading into the rift, like a slurped up noodle, causing the rift to snap open, crackling and sparking, snarling as I stretch a hand out, willing the rift to connect to my mark.

 

“Focus.” I hiss at myself, attempting to keep myself from looking over at the Commander, worry itching the soles of my feet, the palms of my hands, the mark sputters during the connection, the skin feels like it’s being pried from the bones of my hands, and tears sting the corner of my eyes. Nudging and pulling, I tug the rift, snapping it shut as everyone hurries over.

 

“That was _dangerous!_ ” Solas shouts. “You’ve been clipped in the arm!”

 

“Ah, maybe you _won’t_ make it to a week, this time Gizmo.” Varric taunts as Solas clucks over my arm, while I roll my eyes.

 

“Wait…” He rolls up the sleeve of my arm, causing me to wince as he reveals marred flesh. “What are these? What are these from?” He asks, fingers trailing over the crossing marks, causing a shiver to trail down my spine, and I close my eyes, shaking my head.

 

“It’s nothing.” I answer, tugging my arm away. I notice Cassandra and Cullen are speaking in low, hushed voices, out of the corner of my eye

 

“These are scarred, possibly years old.” The elf’s eyes twinkle in curiosity, a slightly worried undertone.

 

“It’s _nothing_!” I hiss, ripping my arm from his grip, and roll down my sleeve, sighing as I turn to the others, Varric looks at me in a knowing way, but I retort with a glare.

 

“Lady Cassandra, you managed to close the rift.” Cullen says, making his way over here.

 

“Do not thank me, it was the prisoner’s doing.” Cassandra gestures to me, causing Cullen to look over at me, eyes widening in surprise.

 

“Kaleigh, _you_ are the prisoner?” Cullen asks in surprise.

 

“You know the prisoner, as well?!” Cassandra demands, causing Cullen to give me a slightly annoyed look, as if her anger is truly my fault.

 

“Hey, I didn’t do it!” I snap, causing him to pinch his thumb and index finger to the bridge of his nose, before he responds.

 

“Well, I do hope you can help, like they say.” Cullen looks at the breach. “We’ve lost a lot of people, getting you here.”

 

“I…” I frown, looking down at the flaring mark from my hand. “I’ll gladly sacrifice myself, if we can prevent something, like what happened in Kirkwall, from happening again.” I finally say, feeling a steel determination to fill me as Cullen frowns at that.

 

“I did not mean-”

 

“It doesn’t matter, Cullen.” I turn to Varric and Solas, before heading towards the temple.

 

“Give us time, Commander.” Cassandra says, hurrying after us Varric catches up to my side, placing a hand on my arm, looking up at me in worry.

 

“You okay there, Gizmo?” Varric asks.

 

“Fine.” I answer shortly.

 

“You know that I know, that you know I know you better than that.” He responds, a bit snippy, causing me to reach up, rubbing my arm with a sigh.

 

“I’m so pissed off! I know that I should remember what happens, I’ve studied this lore! I just… I can’t remember.” I finally sigh, looking over at the dwarf.

 

“It’ll return to you, Gizmo, you know that better than anyone.” He smirks up at me. “Until then, just hide behind me, and Chuckles.”

 

“Wasn’t Chuckles the nickname you used for Hawke?” I tease.

 

“Is it?”Varric feigns ignorance.

 

“Losing your touch, old man.” I nudge him playfully, causing him to scoff, a pretend pain on his face.

 

“I take offense to that!” He cries loudly, clutching his chest as if my words have smote him. “Your words are so painful!”

 

“Oh, alas, thy poor dwarf shall die from being smote, upon the blade of my words.” I cry out dramatically, pressing the back of my hand to my forehead. “Good heavens, whatever shall we do?” I can see Solas shooting Varric and I an annoyed look, causing me to stick my tongue out at him, and Varric bursts with laughter at the insulted look that crosses the elf’s face. Cassandra lets out a disgusted noise as we enter the ruins, the damage causes Varric and I to fall silent in shock, the playful air between us disperses, and a my stomach rolls.

 

“You made it, good!” Leliana calls hurrying over to our side, she and Cassandra talk between themselves as I lean out, over the broken banister, looking up at the breach, and up, and up, and up, a cry pierces my ears, causing my heart to skip a beat.

 

 **_“Kaleigh!_ ** ” I blink, looking over to see Varric and Solas talking, obviously neither of them heard it, nor had any of the soldiers. **_“Kaleigh, help!_ ** ”

 

“ _Declan?_ ” I call out, drawing Varric’s attention.

 

“You okay there, Gizmo?” Varric asks.

 

“I… I heard someone.” I answer.

 

“Memories of what happened here, they hang in the air, pressing on the veil.” Solas answers.

 

“But, why am I the only one to hear this?” I counter, causing his brow to furrow.

 

“Perhaps it’s a memory from your time _in_ the fade.” Solas answers.

 

“ **_KALEIGH!_ ** ” An agonizing voice shouts out, causing my to gasp as it shoots through me, pain raking me as I clench a fist against my chest, knees giving out as everyone looks over at me, Varric kneels beside me in worry.

 

“ _DECLAN?!_ ” I scream, stumbling to my feet, and burst forward, grabbing the banister, hopping it as I race towards the breach, when a rift opens below, and a limp figure falls to the ground, causing me to drop to my knees, brushing hair from the figure’s face, revealing a familiar freckled face. “Oh god, Declan! W-Wake up!” I cry, shaking the figure, a familiar pair of bottle green eyes flutter open, and he manages a weak smile, before his eyes flutter closed again. “ **H-Help!** **_Someone help me!_ ** ” I scream, causing Solas, Cassandra, and Varric to rush to my side.

 

“Who is that?!” Cassandra demands.

 

“Declan, wake up!” I demand, cradling him in my lap, and Solas kneels at Declan’s head, brushing a glowing blue hand over his forehead, and he frowns.

 

“He is sleeping, he has a few minor breaks in his ribs, and some internal bleeding. Someone will have to carry him to Adan.” Solas explains, looking up at Cassandra, who motions two soldiers forward, and the carefully lift him from my arms as I hesitantly let them do so.

 

“Gizmo, who was that?” Varric finally asks, causing me to swallow thickly, looking up at him as tears fill my eyes.

 

“It doesn’t matter.” I brush his question off, quietly, before pressing to my feet, wiping the tears away. “Okay, let’s do this.”

 

“Prepare yourself,” Cassandra presses a gentle hand on my shoulder. “there will be more demons.” With that, she walks away, getting into position, as does Varric and Solas, while I reach up, focusing as the Breach latches onto the mark on my hand, and I force it open with a loud pop, and out stomps a giantass, lightning wielding, purplish grey pride demon, along with the stench of charred flesh, and death. Cassandra lets out a war cry, charging the beast with the first brandish of her weapon, Varric shoots three bolts from Bianca, and Solas shoots a large ice shard, signifying the start of the battle, the soldiers and Leliana charging into the fray as well, the battle is long, blood, it feels like it goes on for hours, and a few other demons have attempted to attack me as I disrupt the rift to try and damage the Pride Demon, only to die by my blades.

 

“Do it!” Cassandra calls as the rift liquefies, and she cuts the head off the Pride Demon as it kneels in recovery, I turn to latch onto the rift, tugging and pulling, stretching against the draw, my feet planted firmly, and pain fills me, the skin of my arm feels likes it’s being pulls off, layer by layer, each breath comes out in stitches, and by the time the rift snaps shut, black dots my vision, and I can feel myself connect with the hard ground, everything finally going dark.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys vote, Fenris, Zevran, Solas, Cole, or Cullen? Romance option for Gizmo/Kaleigh


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anything underlined, is in Kaleigh's language!

 

_~Chapter Four~_

 

Pain thrums in my head as I slowly force my eyes open, carefully sitting up in the strange bed, I hear a frantic scream, and a loud thud as I blink at the elven servant girl following the box, she was holding, to the floor, with her head bowed low, and I frown. “ _Son of a bitch,_ my head.” I groan, rubbing my temples with two fingers.

 

“I _beg_ your blessing and your forgiveness, your worship. I am but a humble servant.” The elven girl cries, bowing her head lower, to the point where her nose is almost touching the floor.

 

“D-Don’t… call me that.” I stammer out. “Get off the floor!” I force myself to my feet, swaying for a moment, before I cross to her side, and pull her, none too kindly, to her feet from the floor. “You don’t bow to me, understand?”

 

“Oh, I-I said the wrong thing, didn’t I?” She drops to her knees, causing me to kneel down beside her, resting my hand on her shoulder.

 

“Stop that. Explain what’s going on.” I demand, knowing that she won’t stop, unless I order her to, at least twelve more times.

 

“You’re in Haven, milady. They say you’ve saved us. It’s all anyone has talked about for three days.” She shakily stands as I follow.

 

“You are saying… they’re happy with me?” I finally ask, feeling my heart thrum in hope.

 

“I don’t know nothing about that, but the Breach in the sky stopped growing, as did the mark on your hand. Lady Cassandra is in the Chantry, she wanted to speak with you, as soon as you woke.” The girl explains.

 

“What about the young man that came from the ruins? Is he alright?” I ask, the hope in my chest shifts into worry.

 

“He woke up, not ten minutes ago. Lady Cassandra’s got him confined to a cell in the dungeon.” The servant answers. “I must tell Lady Cassandra you are awake. At once, she said! At once!” With that, she backs out of the cabin, the door slamming shut behind her, and I look around the toasty cabin, spotting a change of clothes and a water basin in the corner, I quickly freshen up with a rag bath, then dress in the black leather breeches, the long sleeve green tunic, and brown boots, shrugging on the black leather vest, and twisting my hair back into a very long braid, before starting towards the door. Grabbing the black cloak as I step outside, I freeze in the middle of putting the cloak on, because a crowd stands before the cabin, fists over their hearts, heads bowed in respect. An itching chill slithers up my spine as I make my way down the path, attempting to ignore the stage whispers and looks, the worshipping all directed towards me, and when I finally get to the Chantry, I slam the large door shut behind me, taking a very very deep breath.

 

“That is so fucking weird!” I whisper to myself in my own language, before straightening up as I notice a few of the Chantry sisters watching me from a corner, I straighten my shoulders, and start towards the war room, where I can hear Chancellor Roderick ranting and raving. Shoving the door opens as hard as I can, I waltz into the room, causing Roderick, Cassandra, and Leliana to all look at me.

 

“Chain her! Then escort her to the capital for trial!” The Chancellor demands, point at me, the two soldiers on either side of the door step forward.

 

“Disregard that!” Cassandra’s order causes them both to freeze. “And leave us!” With that, they turn on their heels, marching out, making sure to close the door behind them, while Roderick watches, almost in shock.

 

“You walk a dangerous line, Seeker.” He hisses, venom dripping from each word, while I stick my tongue out at him, from where he can’t see me. I notice Leliana cracking a smirk, before covering it with her hand. _I never said that I was mature._ I think to myself.

 

“The Breach is stable, but it is _still_ a threat.” Cassandra states, scowl prominent on her face. “I will **not** ignore it!”

 

“So, what? I’m still a suspect? Even after all that shit that just nearly killed me?!” I demand, causing them to look at me, Roderick stepping up to me in a challenging manner, I have the urge to teach him a lesson.

 

“You absolutely are!” He snarls, not five inches from my face, causing me to narrow my eyes at him.

 

“No, she is not!” Cassandra contradicts the Chancellor, while I clench my fist at my side.

 

“Someone, was behind the explosion at the Conclave.” Leliana steps in, before I can punch Roderick’s lights out. “Someone, Most Holy, did not expect.” Leliana looks pointedly at Roderick, before she continues. “Perhaps they died with the others, or have allies that yet live.”

 

“ _I_ am a suspect!?” Roderick scoffs, waving a hand in offence.

 

“ _You_ , and many others!” Leliana snaps.

 

“But, _not_ the prisoner.” Roderick growls, while I smirk at him.

 

“I heard the voices in the temple. The Divine called to her for help.” Cassandra states, as if that will placate the raging Chancellor that I imagine is close to frothing at that mouth in anger.

 

“So her survival. That thing on her hand. _All_ a coincidence.” Roderick demands, crossing his arms over his chest.

 

“Providence.” Cassandra states, causing me to blink. “The Maker sent her to us, in our darkest hour.” Cassandra states.

 

“Whoa whoa whoa!” Everyone looks at me. “Say what?!”

 

“We lost everything... then, out of nowhere, you came.” Cassandra explains, stepping away as I gape at her.

 

“The Breach remains.” Leliana snaps me from my stupor. “Your mark is still our only hope of closing it.”

 

“This is _not_ for you to decide.” Roderick snaps, dropping his arms to his side as Cassandra comes back to the table, slamming a book down on top of it.

 

“You know what this is, Chancellor.” Cassandra slams her fist on the book. “A writ from the Divine, granting us the authority to act.” She starts to back the Chancellor towards the door. “As of this moment, I declare the Inquisition reborn. We will close the Breach. We will find those responsible, and we will restore order. With or _without_ your approval.” Roderick looks from Cassandra, to myself, to Leliana, before he turns, and stalks out, slamming the door shut behind him.

 

“This is the Divine’s directive. Rebuild the inquisition of old, find those who will stand against the chaos.” Leliana sighs as she walks over to look at the book, Cassandra joining us at the head of the table again. “We aren’t ready. We have no leader, no numbers, and _now_ , no Chantry support.”

 

“But, we have no choice.” Cassandra points out. “We must act now, with you at our side.” She turns her head to look at me.

 

“You’re trying to start a Holy War!” I cry out in annoyance. “I’m not even Andrastian!”

 

“We are already at war.” Cassandra counters. “You are already involved. It’s mark is upon you.” She shakes her head. “As to whether the war is holy, that depends on what we discover.”

 

“If you’re truly trying to restore order-”

 

“That is the plan.” Leliana cuts me off, and Cassandra turns to me, her hand held out.

 

“Help us fix this, before it is too late.” Cassandra states softly, causing me to sigh, hanging my head.

 

“Way to go, Kaleigh. This is on you.” I mutter to myself, before swinging my hand out, capturing Cassandra’s in my own, and we shake hands. _And just like that, the Inquisition is reborn, with myself in the role of the Herald of Andraste._ I think to myself with a sigh. “One last thing,” They both look at me. “about the person you decided to put in the cells?”

 

“The one that fell from the rift below the Breach?” Cassandra asks.

 

“Yeah, think ya can let him go?” I ask.

 

“Why?” Leliana asks, skepticism in her voice.

 

“Well, see, thing is… that’s my twin brother.”

 


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kind of a celebratory chapter! I asked my stepdad to adopt me, and he said yes. So, I wrote this chapter, in a very good mood! Enjoy! ^-^

 

_~Chapter Five~_

 

Peregrinating from the war room, down to the dungeons, Cassandra pulls a wrought iron keyring off the wall, across from the large cell, wrought iron keys dangle from it, and she slides one into the lock on the cell holding my brother, opening the door. Declining to stay outside, away from my brother, for another brief second to pass, I cross into the cell, and kneel down beside my brother, whom is gripping one of the bars, his red hair before his face, and I can tell he’s all but given up, as I rest a hand on his shoulder. “Declan?” I murmur, causing his head to snap up, tears falling from his eyes as he launches himself into my arms, and I softly rub his back as he squeezes me close.

 

“Kaleigh.” He sobs, breathing in my scent, his fingers twisting in my tunic.

 

“Shh, it’s okay, Declan. I promise you, it’s alright.” I murmur softly, as we sit on the cold, stone ground, my fingers twine and twist through his dreads, and his shoulder’s shaking as he cries, my own tears slowly falling.

 

“I-I can’t believe it’s you!” He finally stammers out, wiping his eyes as he leans back, and I smile as I brush his red locks from his face.

 

“I know, I’m sorry.” I murmur, he frowns suddenly.

 

“Is it really you?” He finally asks, causing me to frown a bit, before I nod softly.

 

“Prove it.” He states.

 

“Our brother’s names are, starting with you, Declan, Aodhan, Reilly, and Oisin. Our sister’s names, starting with myself, Kaleigh, Ailis, Breana, Tara, and Kathleen.” I state. “Our parents names are Crevan, and Eileen.” I answer, causing him to cry out in happiness, hugging me again, with tears renewed.

 

“What happened to you? Where have you been?!” He asks, once he’s calmed down again, the two of us starting up to the main level of the chantry alone, seeing as Cassandra had left us to give us privacy.

 

“You aren’t going to believe me, but we’re in the world of Dragon Age.” I explain softly.

 

“You’re right. I don’t believe you.” He deadpans, causing me to let out a light laugh, lounging across his shoulders.

 

“I’m serious, Declan. I’m in the roll of the Herald of Andraste.” I state as we climb the steps, and he stops to turn to look at me.

 

“You? Oh, that’s not happening. We’re going home!” He argues.

 

“We can’t.” I state. “Anders and Hawke tried to help me, already. It’s not possible… I’m sorry Declan.” I murmur softly, causing him to frown, then he takes my hand in his own.

 

“Then, I’m not leaving your side.” He states. “No matter what.” He vows, causing me to smile at him.

 

“Thanks, Declan. Now, we have a problem.” He tilts his head at me. “Thedas language is different than ours. I understood the words everyone was saying, when I first got here, but they don’t understand our language.”

 

“How is that possible?” He asks in confusion.

 

“My best guess? The Dragon Age games were in Thedasan, originally, and our brains rewired it to English.” I answer with a shrug, opening the door to walk out into the Chantry. “It’s not too bad here.” I turn to speak to him, while stepping back towards the door. “We can always see Josephine about lessons, when she arrives.”

 

“When she arrives?” Declan asks.

 

“She’s not here, yet. We just rebirthed the Inquisition. Oh, and Roderick is a bigger dick that we thought… He called me a demon.” I state, causing Declan to blink.

 

“I assume you did something about that, you haven’t been know to hold your tongue.” He points out.

 

“I may or may not have headbutted him.” I state with a bright smile.

 

“That’s my girl!” He cheers with a bright smile, causing me to roll my eyes, and bump shoulders into him. “So, how long have you been here for?” He finally asks as we start towards the door.

 

“About, since 9:34 Dragon.” I answer.

 

“What year is it, now?” He asks, pushing his fingers through his red dreads.

 

“Uh… 9:41 Dragon.” I answer, causing him nod, the doors to the Chantry opens, and Declan starts to shiver, from the backdraft of the icy air, causing him to cross his arms over his chest for warmth. “I just had an idea, why don’t we go see Solas? He may be able to help.” He blinks at me.

 

“You want to go to the Dread Wolf, for help?” He presses a hand to my forehead, as if to check that I have a fever, but I wrinkle my nose, shoving his hand away.

 

“Shove off! We have to act natural around him, otherwise we’ll never be able to stop him from his plans!” I grumble, causing him to roll his eyes.

 

“Wolf fucker.” He taunts, causing me to wrinkle my nose once more, shoving him as hard as I can, causing him to fall to the ground, snow covering him. “Hey!” Declan whines as I roll my eyes, holding out my hand to him, and he reaches out, latching onto my own, allowing me to yank him to his feet. He beams at me.

 

“To Solas, capice?” I state, causing him to shrug, locking our fingers together.

 

“Whatever you say. _You_ are the Herald of Andraste, not me. ” He states, pulling me closer, so that our arms brush with each step, as though he can’t stand being farther than a few inches, from me.

 

“I’ve been gone, 7 years in this world. How long have I been gone, in our world’s time?” I ask, causing him to smile sadly at me.

 

“Ten years.” He answers, leaning down to nuzzle the top of my head.

 

“ **Ten?!** ” I crow, looking up at him as tears fill my eyes. “Then, mom and dad?”

 

“Declared you dead.” He states.

 

“And… Michael?” I ask, looking down at the ring on my hand, that, despite all of the danger and darkness that chased me through this world, managed to stay right where my fiance had put it.

 

“Kaleigh…” I look up at the heartbroken tone of his voice, his eyes are sympathetic, and he suddenly won’t meet my gaze.

 

“Declan, what happened to Michael?” I demand, turning my entire body to look at him.

 

“Kaleigh, you know you couldn’t expect him to wait forever.” He says softly.

 

“W-What?” I stammer out, my heart stops, before sputtering to start again. “W-What do you mean?!”

 

“I mean, yeah, it was a douchebag move, but it’s not like he wasn’t upset about you.” He’s avoiding saying it.

 

“Declan!” He looks me in the face. “What. Happened. To. Michael?” I demand, causing him to frown, and he looks down at his feet, shifting his weight back and forth.

 

“He married Marie.” He answers, causing my chest to heave, and he rests his hand on my shoulder, but I shrug it off to step back, turning away. “Kaleigh?” He asks softly.

 

“H-He… He married Marie?! You mean-” I let out a self depreciating laugh, my fingers twining into my hair, at the roots, and my world spins, twisting and warping as my breathing quickens. “He- You mean- my worst enemy?! When? Why?!” I scream, drawing the attention of a few people, not that they’d understand why I’m saying.

 

“Hey, calm down.” Declan grabs my shoulders, pulling me against his chest, holding me to his chest, my fingers fall from my hair to twist in his shirt, tears welling in my eyes as my breathing comes out in stitches. “He married her, a year after you disappeared. He was in mourning, and… Marie was just, there for him.”

 

“He- Was I even declared dead?!” I scream, tears in my voice obvious, causing Declan to stiffen, the wrap an arm around my shoulders.

 

“No. We still looked for you.” He answers softly, his hand trailing up and down my back softly, while tears fall from my eyes, and my breathing slows, until I’m finally calm enough that I break down. Sobbing into my brother’s shirt, he holds me close, hiding my face from the view of the other civilians, allowing me to grieve for my lost love, my lost life, until I finally pull away, wiping my eyes and cheeks free of tears, forcing a smile on my face.

 

“Let’s just go.” I murmur, linking my finger with his own, and tugging him along toward Solas’ hut.

 

“Ah, hello.” Solas greets as soon as he sees us step up. “I see that fellow prisoners, have become quick friends.”

 

“Not prisoners anymore, egghead.” Declan states, causing me to snort a short laugh, shaking my head as Solas looks at my brother in confusion.

 

“This is actually my twin brother.” I explain.

 

“I believe, I could see that.” Solas answers. “What is that strange language, he just spoke?”

 

“Wow… He hasn’t even addressed me.” Declan states.

 

“Does it matter?” I retort. “Can you help him, speak common?” Solas tilts his head at my brother, circling the two of us like a vulture, eyes calculating and studying.

 

“Perhaps.” Solas answers, continuing to circle us.

 

“My name is Solas, I’m an a-holas, and I smell like BO-las.” Declan taunts, causing me to roll my eyes.

 

“Is he saying something I should know?” Solas inquires.

 

“Would you just stop it. I know you don’t like him, but seriously. You’ve been saying that same chant, for like, 3 years.” I tease.

 

“I haven’t been able to say it, in 10!” Declan shoots back.

 

“Mook.” I stick my tongue out at him.

 

“Putz.” Declan retorts.

 

“Bitchass.”

 

“Pussy.”

 

“Feckless wonder.”

 

“Jerkwad.”

 

“Fudge nugget.”

 

“Dork.” At this insulting nickname, he pauses, before his lips pull into a straight line, annoyance creasing his forehead as I let out a triumphant laugh, and Solas looks at us in immense interest, having watched our entire insult fest, not understanding a word said.

 

“Are you two quiet finished?” He finally asks as I smirk at my brother, who sticks his tongue out at me in retaliation. “Ahem.” The elf clears his throat, catching my attention as I look at him, he gestures to my brother.

 

“Oh… Yeah, go ahead.” I shrug, causing him to nod once, stepping forward to press his thumb to the middle of my brothers forehead, the pad of his other fingers rest on the top of his head, pressing down my brother’s dreads. I watch as the color blue surrounds my brother, starting at his head, ending at his feet as Solas steps back, and my brother opens his bottle green eyes, the blue circles his irises, before sinking into his pupils. “So?” I finally ask.

 

“How will I tell, if it worked?” Declan finally asks, then frowns as he goes cross-eyed, as though he’s attempting to look down at his mouth.

 

“I believe it worked, quiet well.” Solas answers with an amused smirk.

 

“Great, well, can I switch back to my language, like Kaleigh can?” Declan asks.

 

“Try speaking it.” I state, rolling my weigh to my hip, once I’ve crossed my arms over my chest.

 

“Solas sounds like a pretentious ass. Are you sure, we should trust him?” Declan asks after a minute, before smiling.

 

“Why would you chose to say _that_? What if you hadn’t been able to switch back and forth? ” I demand, shaking my head as I pinch the bridge of my nose with my thumb and index finger.

 

“Eh.” He shrugs. “At least he’d know that I’d hate him, now I’ll just have to be polite all the time.”

 

“Alright, clearly it works.” I state, allowing Solas a smile, before I roll my shoulders, and rub at my neck. “We’d better get you some warmer clothes, Declan, and some armor. If I know anything about you, it’s that you’re too protective and antsy, to sit around here, when we hit the road for recruitment.” I state, walking away, leaving the two men behind me, and it’s only 30 seconds before Declan is at my side again.

 

“Solas looks at you, like a book to be read.” Declan points out.

 

“He wants a game of cat and mouse. I refuse to be the mouse, and I refuse to be the cat.” I state, causing him to grimace, before he links our fingers, carrying on beside me.

 

“So, how bad is it?” He inquires, causing me to look him in the eye, a scowl on my face, causing him to frown, wincing. “That bad, huh.”

 

“That bad.” I answer, carrying on beside him, towards the armory.

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anything that is underlined, means it's in Kaleigh's native language. If it's in past tense and italics, it's in the past, and if it's just italic without quotations, it's a thought.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's a spinnit's part of the series before this, check it out, to see what each of the relationship options would be like, and vote in the comments there.

_~Chapter Six~_

 

Says after Declan and I’s reunion, Varric had come out of the woodwork, Josephine had arrived, and the advisors, plus Cassandra, had started to work hard, towards the actual rebirth of the Inquisition. Perching on the branch of the tree, I lean forward as I silently observe the soldier’s working hard, my long red hair is braided down my back, when I feel a tugging at the base of my head, causing me to look down, spotting a glinting silver beak peeking out black hood, and a strike of realization hits me, causing me to lean forward, dropping into a crouch as I land on the balls of my feet. “May I help you?” I ask.

 

“I am Zevran, you may have heard of me.” He grins, hands on his hips.

 

“What do you want?” I find myself inquiring, causing his face to fall a bit.

 

“I was tasked with keeping an eye on you, around Haven, by Leliana. She fears for your life, that there are those that wish to kill you still.” Zevran explains, when suddenly Declan trumps through the snow, from the privacy of the brush, where he had gone to use the restroom.

 

“I don’t really need to worry, too much.” I lean against my brother’s side, my elbow resting on his shoulder. “That’s what I’ve got him for.” I point to my brother, who raises an eyebrow at me.

 

“What am I for, now, little sister?” He questions as Zevran glances between the two of us.

 

“Twins?” He inquires, causing my brother and I to shrug in unison, and he shakes his head. “Any relation to the Heroes of Ferelden?”

 

“Hero **es**? As in plural?” Declan asks, leaning into my side as Zevran nods.

 

“Of course, Mira and Nox had convinced us that they were lovers, soon to be married despite their supposed hatred towards each other, but it was all a trick, to ward off interested parties.” Zevran shakes his tongue, as though in disappointment.

 

“Mira?” I ask.

 

“Nox?” Declan asks at the same time.

 

“Yes, Mira and Nox of house Cousland, the last two left.” Zevran glances at us. “You both have the Cousland red hair, and green eyes, but that is where the resemblance ends.”

 

“We’ve only ever heard of them, never met them. No familial connection.” Declan lies for us both, knowing that deep down, just by the names, they’re our wardens. Mira had been my lesbian warden, paired with Leliana, while Nox had been Declan’s attempt at no romance playthrough, though he ended up romancing Morrigan again, he never could resist the mysterious bad girl type.

 

“Strange, you even act like them, no? Perhaps, it is just a twin thing.” Zevran responds, then shakes his head, while Declan spins me around, before lifting my over his shoulder while Zevran watches, and I let out a laugh, shrieking when he swats my ass.

 

“Declan, _you put me down, right now!_ ” I scream, causing my brother to cackle while Zevran stares at the two of us, like we’re lunatics. “This action is unbefitting of the Herald of Andraste and her loyal protector!”

 

“Touche, sister dearest!” Declan states, causing me to let out another laugh as Declan spins around with me in his arms, while Zevran leans against a tree nearby, catching my attention enough, that I lean my elbows against Declan’s back, and resting my head on my hands.

 

“Why’re you still here?” I ask softly, causing the ex-crow to tilt his head at me, face suddenly serious as he presses off the tree.

 

“I have told you, Leliana has me posted on your tail. I will not allow anything to happen to you, even with your brother’s protection.” Zevran explains.

 

“I thought, you’d like having him fawning all over you.” Declan says, setting me on the ground, and I turn to lean on the tree behind us.

 

“I might, but that doesn’t mean he’d have to know.” I shoot back, causing him to let out a laugh, Zevran stands to the side, completely lost. “And, like you’re any better, you’ve romanced him too.” I shoot at Declan, causing my brother to grin.

 

“Nah, I’m totally going after Dorian, or Ironbull… If anyone.” Declan answers, causing me to to let out a snort of laughter, bumping his shoulder with my own, before I look over at Zevran, flashing a knowing smile.

 

“I beg your pardon, but I have a feeling that you’re talking about me, no?” Zevran inquires, causing my brother and I two exchange looks, before shrugging in unison, causing the ex-crow to frown, before I turn to the tree, climbing up the branches once more, and laying back on the thickest one, one leg and one arm dangling as I close my eyes, letting out a yawn.

 

“Uh-oh. Going to sleep, sis?” Declan asks, causing me to beam down at him.

 

“Yup!” I answer, popping the ‘P’.

* * *

 

“What on _Earth_ are you doing, Gizmo?” Varric asks behind me, causing me to jump, whirling around with a pair of pliers, holding a hot piece of iron, in my hand.

 

“Varric, I’m working.” I hiss, causing him to hold his hands up, in a “I mean no trouble” gesture, causing me to shake my head, turning back to the fire to reheat the iron, and start to weld and working over a new blade.

 

“So, what’re you working on there, Gizmo?” Varric asks, leaning on the nearby wall.

 

“Well, I’ve been trained with daggers, and I’ve used my gymnastics training, from my childhood, to help with evading enemies. But, I’m totally leaving myself open, and while armor helps to keep arrows and what not from harming me, I’m making blades for my boots- they’ll slide out from the toe.” I explain, causing Varric to nod, a surprised look on his face as he watches me sharpen the blade on the whetstone.

 

“So, what, you step on the big toe of your boot, and the blade slides out?” He asks, causing me to smile at him.

 

“You attach the knife to a mechanic, and string. The string draws up to a trigger on your middle finger, and you pull it in battle, during the fight.” I explain, causing him to smile brighter, watching me work.

 

“Smart.” He nods, causing me to smile, finishing up my work up, before I start with Varric towards the tavern, I can tell that Zevran is trailing after us, even though he’s sticking completely to the shadows. Entering the tavern, Declan is standing on a table, dancing a traditional Russian dance, arms crossed with a pint of beer in one hand- his face is completely flushed, telling me that he’s drunk, patrons of the tavern surround the table, cheering and clapping.

 

“ **_Sister!_ ** ” He shouts, pausing in his dance to take a large gulp of ale, and I roll my eyes, leaning against the doorstop.

 

“ **_Isn’t it a little early to be inebriated?_ ** ” I call, my hands cupped around my mouth so that he can hear me of the cheers as he spins, continuing to dance.

 

“ _I am_ **_tipsy!_ ** ” He shouts back, causing me to cover my mouth, letting out a laugh.

 

“Please tell me, that you are much more civil, while inebriated, lady Herald?” I jump at the voice behind me, the rush of breath is over the back of my neck, my hand smacks over the back of my neck as I turn, glaring at the elf standing behind me as he leans on his staff, smiling at me.

 

“I don’t drink.” I state, causing him to tilt his head at me, eyes sparkling with mischief and curiosity, before Varric breaks into chorkles, doubling over with his hands on his stomach.

 

“Something to say, child of stone?” Solas inquires.

 

“She _means_ , she doesn’t drink **anymore**.” Varric specifies. “Gizmo’s a lightweight, she’s a fantastic singer though!”

 

“Oh?” Solas tilts his head at me, causing my to shrug.

 

“Yeah, she sings when she’s drunk, and she also has a habit of falling asleep wherever she lands. I can’t tell you how many times, Broody had to carry her back to Hawke’s manor. And poor Orana had to put you to bed.” Varric chorkles, my face is completely flushed by now, and I cross my arms, looking away.

 

“ _Once!_ It happened _once_ !” I hiss, causing Varric to snort. “Okay, _twice_!” Solas smirks at this, and suddenly Declan jumps down from the table, prowling over to us, throwing his arm around my shoulder.

 

“I see you’re talking with the elf again, Kay!” He chirps, leaning down to press a wet kiss to my forehead, causing my nose to wrinkle, and I slug him in the shoulder, wiping free my face of his drool.

 

“God, you’re disgusting when drunk!” I hiss, causing him to grin, a completely shit eating grin, licking a stripe up the side of my face. “ **_UGH!!_ ** ” I screech reaching up with a sleeve, wiping my face as I duck from my brother’s grasp, my scream echoes through the tavern, and Solas chuckles, while Varric laughs, full out bolstering laugh. “That was so totally disgusting, you nasty slob!” I shout, causing my brother to double over, cackling.

 

“That was completely hilarious!” My brother laughs, while I continue to squirm, scrubbing my face roughly, before I finally calm down, watching my brother take another large drink of his ale, causing my nose to wrinkle in disgust once more.

 

“That was certainly interesting to watch.” Solas states.

 

“Gods, someone take me away from this freak, before I become violently ill!” I hiss, starting towards the door again, Solas places a hand on my back, directing me towards the Chantry, my stomach rolls from disgust. “I hated when he did that, when we were children, and I hate it even more now!”

 

“I’ve never seen siblings, quite as close as you two, not even twins.” Solas says, causing me to grin.

 

“Ah, well, there are eleven of us, in my family- my parents, myself and Declan, three other brothers, and four other sisters, Declan and I are the only set of twins. So, Declan and I have always been together, doing our education together, sharing our room until we were 16 years old, and what not.” I wave my hand.

 

“ _Eleven of you?!_ ” He asks, causing me to let out a laugh. “Are you a _noble_?!”

 

“No!” I let out a laugh, causing Solas frown. “Solas, haven’t you heard from Varric?”

 

“Heard what?” He inquires, causing me to cover my mouth, stifling another giggle.

 

“I’ve from another realm.” I explain. “Granted, eleven members of a family is still not that common, but it’s fine, with all of us living together, and working jobs, while the younger ones go to school.” Solas blinks, causing me to smile at him.

 

“Another… Realm?” He asks, causing me to nod, the two of us leaning on the rail of the stable area. Myself sitting on the rail, while Solas leans against it, right beside me. I notice his eye is trained on my hand with the mark. “Another realm, and a host for ancient magic, that’s remarkable.” He murmurs, causing my cheeks to flush a bit. “I have to wonder, if that has affected the mark, in anyway possible…” He murmurs, causing me to study his curious expression.

 

“Here,” I hold out my hand to him. “you’re welcome to study it.” He gently grasps my wrist, pulling my hand closer to his eyes, finger softly traces the sides of the mark, watching it fluctuate open and close in response to the reserve of his mana, every twist and tuck of his magic into my mark causes a different reaction from the magic inside, never one that is painful though, and to be honest, something about it has me almost hypnotized by his studies.

 

“Is it painful?” He asks, causing me to give a mirthful smile.

 

“Only when I laugh.” With that, he begins to chuckle, and something tells me that we’ve just started a nice, new, friendship.


	8. Chapter 8

 

_ ~Chapter Seven~ _

 

Instead of making the newborn inquisition’s presence actually  _ known _ in the Hinterlands, we decided that discretion is the best route to go, with my brother’s inability to fight, and my inability to lead people into battle, Cassandra became the frontman. We stayed in the Hinterlands a grand total of a month, collecting elfroot, spindleweed, and other herbs, taking out the rebel mages and templars, even dealing with the demon that took over the wolf pack, Cassandra even manages to send a requisition, for the watchtowers, to Cullen, and we’re greeting the soldiers and builders halfway back to haven. It’s night by the time we reach the small village, the fire’s glow in cabins, and outside of tents, are what greet us, the air is just frosty enough that every exhale is smoky puff, my legs are chaffing from the long trip on horseback in the ice cold night.

 

When we dismount in the stables, Varric drops from his pony, and is at my side in an instant. “Come on, Gizmo.” He holds out a hand to me, which I smirk at him. “What?”

 

“Don’t you believe, someone closer to her own size, should perhaps help her?” Solas inquires, causing me to look up in surprise as he steps past Varric, resting his hands on my waist, and, with a strength impossible for an elf, lifts me from the Paint, settling me on the ground as I stare up at him in surprise. “Do you even eat?” He inquires, causing Varric to snort.

 

“More than you’d believe.” The dwarf quips, causing my to narrow my eyes at him, before turning to my steed.

 

“That’s a good, Thinelroch.” I murmur, petting her nose softly.

 

“What breed’s that, sister?” Declan asks, dismounting from his quarter horse, whom he’s taken to calling Thor.

 

“A paint- you know that.” I shoot him a look, he just gives me a smug look, while Cassandra dismounts her chestnut last, and joins us as I untack my horse.

 

“Leave that for the servants, Herald.” Cassandra says softly. “You must be tired.”

 

“Oh no, Kaleigh never lets  _ anyone _ set up the tack for her horse, let alone untack it.” Declan warns.

 

“It’s habit.” I hiss with a meaningful look shot at my brother, who smirks with a simple shrug, and closes the door to Thor’s stable stall, leaving the horse tacked, and walks out, Varric and Cassandra are close behind, the former mentioning something about a bowl of gruel and a shower, their horses are also in their stall, and tacked, leaving me to shake my head with a sigh, I think I notice Solas following as soon as I turn back to Thinelroch. Moving swiftly, I lug my horse’s saddle over to the side of his stall, dropping in on the half wall, before I grab a metal bucket from a hook on the wall, grooming Thinelroch, before moving on to changing his bedding. During this entire time, I feel the weight of someone’s gaze on me, turning I discover that Solas is watching me from the doorway, his eyes curious as I shake my head, turning back to raking the bedding out evenly, and then cleaning Thinelroch’s shoes free of rocks and mud from the journey.

 

“You’ve ridden before.” It’s not a question, but it’s not quite a statement either.

 

“Yes.” I answer shortly, causing him to watch me as I rub down Thinelroch’s another brush, pausing as he ducks into the stall that houses his own stead, using nimble fingers to make quick work of the saddles’ buckles, before he swings it over the side of his stall. “What’re you doing?” I finally ask.

 

“I can at least untack my own horse.” He points out, causing my to press my lips into a thin line, then turn back to my work, finishing up with the elven mage in silence, before I move across to Thor’s stall, doing his tack, before moving onto Varric and Cassandra’s stead’s tack, before I notice that in the midst of my work, that Solas had disappeared, now returning to the stables with a roll of bread and a flagon of something else. “Here.” He shoves them, albeit kindly, into my hands, causing me to realize that it’s soup in the flagon, and the bread is still relatively warm. “Varric mentioned, you’ve an illness?”

 

“It’s not an illness, per say… It’s hard to explain in layman's terms.” I look down, biting into the crisp bread with a soft crunch, and I savor the flavor- if there’s one good thing that has come from being here, in this world, it’s that I’ll eat basically any and everything edible now, because in the past I was picky about my foods, no carrots, no bread, that kind of thing.

 

“You could try to explain it in the best way you can.” He offers as the two of us wander out of the cold stables, towards the inner walls of Haven.

 

“Well, I have what you could call, a disability… It’s called  hypoglycemia ,” I realize that the word came out in English, meaning that I’ve never heard or learned a word equivalent to it in all of Thedas. “I basically have to eat a lot, in order to keep up my strength, otherwise I could faint, or get sick- if even comes on in the middle of a battle.” I explain, looking over at him as we start up towards his cabin. “Cassandra joked, on the journey, about Varric forcing seconds and thirds upon me, to fatten me up to feed me to our enemy- he witnessed firsthand, in Kirkwall, what happens to me during a  glycemia attack.”

 

“I see, is it that daunting?” He inquires causing me to look down, sipping on my cooled down soup.

 

“I get all pale and clammy, my eyes roll in the back in my eyes, and fall limp to the ground.” I clear my throat. “It’s incurable, even with magic- we’ve tried. It results in having headaches, my stomach hurts, and I get dizzy.”

 

“I see, so it’s debilitating?” He inquires, tilting his head as we stop outside his cabin.

 

“Yeah.” I shuffle my feet in the snow, rubbing the back of my neck. “Anyway, I should go to bed. Night, Solas.”

 

“Herald, wait!” He grabs my arm once I’ve turned away, and I slowly look back at him. “It’s about your brother…” I can feel my face drop, though I don’t know if he notices it, himself, because I correct myself automatically.

 

“W-What about him?” I stammer out.

 

“I am afraid, Kaleigh, that he  _ is _ a mage.” I swallow thickly.

 

“What? Is that even possible?!” I ask quickly.

 

“Apparently, it is.” He murmurs, causing me to sigh, rubbing my eyes with the palm of my free hand.

 

“Is… Is there anyway I could ask for your help?” I finally look up at him, he smiles down at me.

 

“You but need to ask.” He answers.

 

“Is there anyway he doesn’t know?” My inquire takes him by surprise.

 

“Yes, he’s been using a sword this entire time, but I noticed his mana flow attempting to force it’s way out, he’s unconsciously stamping down on it.” Solas explains as I nod in understanding.

 

“I see. Alright, well…” I feel a shudder down my back, the hair on the back of my neck prickles. “Oh no.” I murmur, causing Solas to tilt his head at me and I turn in time to see someone charging from the shadows. A large sword grasped between two hands, causing me to fling my soup at figure, watching the figure stumble back with a cry as I unsheathe my daggers, stalking towards them as soon as they drop their sword, attempting to wipe the still hot soup from his eyes. Pressing my dagger to the hollow of their neck, they look up to reveal a young soldier, who swallows thickly in fear. “Who are you? Why attack me?!” I snarl, causing a smirk to twist across his lips, I tilt my head at him, when a blistering hot pain streaks across my back, causing me to cry out as I reach back to find Solas grabbing another soldier with his staff around the soldier’s throat, a blade is on the snow, gleaming with my blood.

 

“Who are you, men? You are  _ not _ soldiers!” Solas barks, I notice the one before me reaches down for it’s sword, but I step on his hand sharply, there is a mess of popping sounds and the man screams, drawing patrons from the tavern, the Commander amongst them.

 

“What in the Maker’s name is this?!” Cullen demands as he stalks over to us, I can feel my heart stammering as the adrenaline starts to flow from my veins.

 

“This men attacked the Herald, as we were talking.” Solas states, causing the Commander to look down at the one before me, a lantern light flooding the small area as he looks at the one struggling in Solas’s grip.

 

“These are not my men… I don’t know either of them.” Cullen states as I feel the man trying to yank his hand free, and I grind my foot, causing him to whimper. Two men come forward with shackles, latching them men’s hands, and as soon as they are out of sight, I let out a rush of breath, my knees giving out.

 

“Milady!” Cullen is at my side, I can feel a prickling of magic on the wound on my back, Solas’s no doubt, when a familiar figure forces his way through the dark crowd.

 

“Kaleigh!” Declan rushes to me, dropping to his knees before me as I struggle to hold myself up on one arm. “What happened?!”   
  


“It’s nothin’.” I murmur, my eyelids feel heavy.

 

“She was cut, they were aiming for stabbing her, but Solas must have interrupted.” Cullen answers, reaching out for my quaking arm, he drapes it over his shoulder, allowing me to rest on the fur surcoat on his shoulder, while Solas continues to try healing my wound.

 

“Why isn’t the magic working?” Declan asks, causing me to shush him, drawing the three of their attention.

 

“No, he’s correct,” Solas says softly. “the magic is not working.” The cooling magic is gone, a suddenly prickling pain shoots through my back, causing me to bite my lip as I let out a frantic cry.

 

“Stop touching it!” Declan snarls.

 

“I have to, to observe if it is poisoned, or not.” Solas snaps, causing me to grit my teeth as the pain lances through me again.

 

“ Son of a bitch! Fuck fuck fuckery! ” I hiss, causing my brother to laugh.

 

“Good to see you still cuss worse than a sailor.” Declan states, causing me to let out a laugh, that turns into a choked out whimper of pain.

 

“I believe we need privacy,” I look up to notice that the crowd has gotten closer. “and warmer accommodations.” Solas states, suddenly I am lifted from the cold ground, more pain slices through me.

 

“Maker’s hair balls, put me down, I can walk!” I snarl, causing Cullen to give a choked noise, while Declan burst into laughter, and Solas continues to carry me with far too much ease.

 

“You have been cut with a poison laced blade, physical activities will cause the poison to enter your system faster.” Solas explains as we enter his cabin, my brother is not far behind as Solas deposits me on his bed, on my stomach, walking over to the fireplace, which he lights with the waves of a hand, looking over the glass vials on his mantle.

 

“What can I do?” Declan asks.

 

“Nothing. I will need you to leave.” Solas answers.

 

“Fuck you, I’m not leaving my sister!” Declan barks.

 

“Fine then, go get me Lady Josephine and Seeker Pentaghast.” Solas answers, I watch with heavy eyes as Solas plucks something from the mantle, holding it up to the fire to glance inside, while Declan glares at him, before stalking out of the cabin, the door slamming shut behind him. “Commander,” I hadn’t even noticed Cullen in the corner of the cabin. “I am afraid I will need you to step out, I need to remove the Herald’s tunic.”

 

“You what?!” Cullen cries out.

 

“I need to get to the wound, without the fabric in the way.” Solas answers calmly, causing Cullen’s face to flush red, and he turns away.

 

“I shall stay in here, but I will not look.” Cullen responds, while Solas glances over at me, causing me to shrug, wincing at the pain it brings, and he nods.

 

“Very well, Commander.” Solas walks over to me, taking one of my daggers, that Cullen must have grabbed, from the bedside table, and slices up the back of my green tunic, the fabric flutters to the bed, and he pauses. “I am afraid this will burn.”

 

“Kay.” I murmur, causing him to clear his throat, pouring the mixture in the vial on my back, it’s lukewarm, and I can feel it fizzing. When a moment or two passes, the burning comes on, causing me to let out a shriek of agony, and it feels as though I’ve lost control of my muscles as I flail on the bed.

 

“Kaleigh!” I vaguely hear Declan holler as I fade out on consciousness, everything feels all floaty, and as time passes, I continue to float in and out of consciousness. At one point I remember a servant changing me into a new tunic with fresh bandages, before I lost consciousness again, and when I came to the second time, there’s a conversation being had.

 

“It’s been three days.” Declan sounds exhausted, as if he’s yet to sleep.

 

“The poison was strong, the pain the mixture put her in was agonizing- most people handle it with less grace than she did.” Solas sounds just as exhausted.

 

“She’s not going to be happy, when she wakes up.” Declan points out.

 

“Learning magic is your choice, Lethallin. She would not be able to keep you from a part of yourself, no matter if she’d want you to keep safe, or not.” Solas answers softly.

 

“I never thanked you, did I?” Declan’s question surprises me.

 

“Oh, for?” Solas asks in surprise and confusion.

 

“Saving her… twice now.” Declan answers. “Once when she got that mark on her hand, you kept her alive, and the other day, with the poison.” He explains.

 

“I believe that I owe her this much, at the very least.” Solas’s answer takes me by surprise.

 

“What? Why?” Declan inquires.

 

“For the same reason, that I owe you. You have kept my secret, and are willing to die, for protecting people you don’t know, in a world that is not your own.” Solas explains. “But, it’s more than that. I owe her, because she brings peace in war, light in darkness, and hope in the way of my own error.” I hear Declan take in a surprise breath, and before the conversation continues, I fade from consciousness once more. The third time I fade back into consciousness, is the last time, my eyes snap open as I suck in a sharp breath, sitting upright in a bed, looking around in confusion, before realizing that I am in Solas’s cabin still, my heart is rapidly beating in my chest.

 

“Lethallan?” My head snaps open to a chair by the fire, where Solas is frozen in what appears to be midstand, a book open in his hand. “Kaleigh, are you alright?” He finally asks, slowly standing upright as he crosses to my side, placing a gentle hand on my head.

 

“I…” My voice cracks as he turns to the nearby table, pouring a pitcher of something yellow, fluidly sticky, into a glass, and holds it out to me as he gently caresses my head, sitting on the side of the bed.

 

“Drink.” He gestures to the cup, and I take a small exploratory sip, a rich buttery flavor explodes across my tongue, a sweet tanginess follows. “You’ve been out for a little over a week,” He explains, caressing my head again, that’s when I notice the tingling sensation behind it, causing me to realize that he’s not caressing my head to be nice, but to allow his magic to sooth over me, curing any aches and pains, or relax any tense muscles. “everyone has been nervously anxious to see you up and about.”

 

“Declan?” I ask.

 

“He, lady Cassandra, and Varric have gone to the Hinterlands to negotiate the horses, now that the watchtowers have been built, in your stead.” Solas explains as I frown, but I nod, slowly climbing off the bed, placing the cup off to the side.

 

“I don’t suppose there’s anyway to get to the Chantry, without being recognized?” I inquire.

 

“No, but for what reason?” Solas inquires as he stands, and I let out a sigh.

 

“I just want to bathe, before being bombarded with worry.” I answer.

 

“I see, I can always ask the commander for help, in your stead.” He offers, causing me to nod, rubbing the back of my neck. “Then, I shall return.” With that, he is out the door, which is shut without revealing me, and I stand in the middle of his cabin, stretching tiredly.

 

“This has put a dent in the plan.” I murmur to myself, biting my bottom lip worriedly.


	9. Chapter 9

 

_~Chapter Eight~_

 

Entering the War Room, Leliana, Cullen, and Josephine take their place on one side of the war table, Cassandra, myself, and Declan across from them, Zevran stands in the corner, intent on being by my side from the moment I leave my cabin, to the moment I enter it at the end of the day, and finally, Solas is opposite corner of the room, claiming he wants to keep an eye on my remaining wound, because even with the poison gone, magic still didn’t heal it completely. “Mother Giselle was correct on one thing,” Josephine says, once we’ve started to discuss Val Royeaux. “having the _Herald_ address the clerics, is not a bad idea.”

 

“It’s too dangerous, there could be enemy spies, or assassins-” Declan starts.

 

“I could go with her.” Cassandra volunteers.

 

“Why don’t we ask the _Herald_ what she thinks?” Leliana asks, causing me to frown.

 

“You are asking me to walk into a pit of vipers!” I point out, causing Leliana to let out a laugh, and Declan looks at me in surprise.

 

“Just because they like to hiss, does not make them vipers.”Josephine retorts tactfully, causing me to frown.

 

“I don’t suppose I actually _have_ a choice. It’s not as though I can stand by, and let the war overtake Val Royeaux.” I sigh, carding my fingers through my red locks.

 

“Are you kidding? It’s too dangerous!” Declan argues, causing me to turn to him.

 

“Well, I’m not going to sit here, and _be_ useless! Forget it.” I snarl, causing him to frown.

 

“Well, I’m not going to just let you walk right into a trap!” Declan snaps.

 

“I’m not asking you to! We already know it’s a trap, so we’ve just gotta plan appropriately.” I roll my eyes, turning back to Leliana, when a minty cool feeling streaks up my back, causing me to freeze, goosebumps rise along my arms as six pairs of eyes drill into me from all sides, and I look at Declan, eyes narrowed with a glare. “Not fair.” I hiss, causing him to shrug, before I lean forward, grabbing Leliana’s raven figurine. “We send in Leliana’s spies first-” By the time we’ve come with a plan that everyone enjoys, I am stretching tiredly, my vertebrates in my spine snap and pop as Declan, Zevran, Solas, and I all leave the War Room, the two elves look at me with agonizing looks causing me to look at them in confusion, head tilted. “What?”

 

“Doesn’t that hurt?” Zevran inquires, cause me to frown.

 

“No, it feels good.” I answer, causing him to frown in return, before we start through Haven, towards the stables, where I climb the gate, leaning out to pet Thindal on the muzzle, feeding him a carrot from the stables.

 

“So, you aren’t afraid about Val Royeaux?” Solas inquires, I notice that Zevran dips out of sight, but I know he’s not too far now, while Declan leans on a post nearby.

 

“I’m terrified.” I answer, hopping down to merely lean my back against the gate of the ring, my hand coming up to twist the gold band on my left hand, purely out of habit. “The soldiers that will be there, and public speaking… I could hardly order food without feeling nervous, now I’ll be talking in front of hundreds.” I let out a sigh, eyes downcast as I shake my head.

 

“You could always have Cassandra do the speaking.” Declan points out, I notice that one of the male servants, nearby, looks up at his voice, glancing at my brother with a great interest, he’s handsome, with blue eyes, blonde hair, and tanned skin.

 

“That’s not right,” I shake my head. “I can’t keep depending on everyone else. You know how terrible that makes me feel.” I hiss, causing Declan to shrug.

 

“It makes you feel terrible, but you’ve always _been_ terrible at public speaking. You trip over your own tongue.” Declan’s voice draws another servant’s attention, a pretty elven girl, with brown hair, pale skin, and green eyes.

 

“Yes, where as your speaking gathers an audience.” I state, gesturing to the two servants that suddenly turn away, hurrying back to work, and I tilt my head, smirking at him.

 

“Oh…” He chuckles, his face turns red, and I gape at him.

 

“Manwhore! ” I cry, causing Solas to frown in confusion. “ You ultimate manwhore! Is it now your goal to upshine Bull?!”

 

“I like sex.” He states in common, shrugging as Solas’s face morphs into one of disgust.

 

“Moving on!” I state, shaking my head as I twist the ring on my finger, once more, before I press off the fence, starting toward the training yard, the two of them follow, Zevran is close behind. “It’s a good idea to train- all of us, because you never know what danger we might be facing, at Val Royeaux.”

 

“You’ve been doing nothing but running, since the day we’ve met. Perhaps, you need a break?” Solas suggests, causing me to freeze in midstep, turning to look at him in confusion, Declan copying my expression.

 

“ Did the Dreadwolf just try to get you to relax? ” Declan asks, causing me to nod as I continue to gape, and Solas tilts his head at me, confusion evident.

 

“Have I said something wrong?” Solas inquires. “I merely meant, if you do nothing but fight and run, you are going to make yourself ill, and that will not help anyone.”

 

“You know, he’s right Gizmo!” I jump at Varric’s voice, turning to see the dwarf walking up to us, a cocky grin on his face. “I think you need a night in the tavern.”

 

“If brother hasn’t screwed all the servants.” I mutter, causing Declan to make a growling noise from deep in his throat.

 

“It’s not my fault, that I can give them such a good time.” Declan retorts, causing me to roll my eyes.

 

“Ah, so we’ve got another Rivani, do we?” Varric asks, causing me to smirk as Declan looks at the dwarf with a wounded expression.

 

“I’m not a whore!” Declan cries.

 

“Declan, how many people have you slept with, since you’ve gotten here?” I ask, crossing my arms over my chest, and he frowns, looking away from me with his hands shoved in his pockets.

 

“Does it matter?” Declan demands, causing me to snort out a laugh.

 

“In other words, you’ve lost track?” He glares at  me. “ _That_ is why you are a whore.”

 

“Fine fine. Don’t think you’ve changed the subject.” He states, causing the three men to look at me.

 

“A night at the tavern?” I shake my head as Varric and Declan both nod. “Nu-uh. Not gonna happen.” I state.

 

“Oh really?” Declan asks, that’s when Zevran appears, watching us from the side.

 

“I’m not going to the tavern.” I state, causing the elven assassin to smirk.

 

“Come now, _mi pequeña flor_.” Zevran joins in, at his nickname I look at him with wide eyes.

 

“Your **what** now?” I demand. “I am _not_ a little flower!” His smirk widens as I glare at him, Declan bursts in laughter, and Varric smirks, crossing his arms over his chest. “Why does everyone insist on nicknames?!”

 

“They are fun, no?” Zevran inquires, causing me to scoff, throwing my arms up in the air.

 

“Impossible. You are all impossible!” I shake my head, stalking away towards Cullen.

 

“Grab her!” Declan shouts, suddenly I am hefted up by three pairs of hands, while Solas chuckles, following as they start dragging me towards the tavern, despite the fact that I squirm, and wriggle the entire time, attempting to get free. “You are _going_ to relax tonight, even if it kills you!” Declan shouts.

 

“But, training-”

 

“Can wait!” With that, I am deposited into wooden chair, causing my breath to leave me with an “umph” and, I cross my arms over my chest, glaring at the three smiling buffoons before me.

 

“I hate you.” I mutter, causing them each to smirk, while Solas sits beside me. “You’re no better.” I hiss towards the elven apostate, whom simple shrugs. “Fine. **_One_ ** drink.” I concede, causing Varric smile brightly.

 

“That a girl!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I need a Varric nickname for Declan, I'm just having a bit of trouble with it. Anyone got some ideas, just post em.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Drunken shenanigans, a wee bit of flirting with Cullen, and a reunion with an old friend.

~Chapter Nine~

 

One drink had turned into two, which had turned into three, which in turn, ended up as nine, before Declan had Flissa switch me to water, each of my tankards had been topped off, almost as soon as they’d been emptied, and by now, everything is blurring as I lean against my brother, laughing at a story that Varric is telling. “-came out, entirely in her skivvies!” Varric barks in laughter as I let out a snort, sipping on the water in my tankard with a small pout. “It’s good to see you cut loose, Gizmo! I haven’t seen you like that, since before the deep roads expedition.”

 

“Dunno why I didn’t do it _ssss_ ooner.” I slur, before look at the elven assassin that’s sitting across from me, who is smirking at me. “She would’ve slept with you, ya know.” I state, causing the elf to smirk, glancing at the barmaid.

 

“Oh, I know, _mi pequeña flor_. But, I’d rather do what your brother and elf is doing.” At Zevran’s words, I look at Declan, who is glaring at a nearby soldier, who is gawking, over the rim of his tankard. I, then, turn to look at Solas, who is pointedly watching other male patrons that look over at us on occasion.

 

“What’re ‘ey lookin a’?” I slur out, causing Varric to chorkle, and Zevran’s face falls.

 

“You a surely not blind, _mi pequeña flor!_ ” Zevran shakes his head. “They are look at you, no?”

 

“Gizmo, this may come as a shock to you, but you don’t exactly have the figure you had, when you showed up with Hawke and Sunshine. You even attracted attention at the Hanged Man!” Varric asks.

 

“Howzat?” I blink at the dwarf.

 

“Uh… _mi pequeña flor_ … You have attracted many suitors, not just of the opposite gender.” Zevran decides to put gently.

 

“Why do you think Choir Boy, Hawke, Blondie, and Broody were so alert at the tavern, and hesitant to let you go anywhere alone?” Varric shakes his head. “You got muscle from the years of training, you got thinner, and your… curves, became more pronounced.”

 

“Watch it dwarf.” Declan scolds, causing me to let out a laugh.

 

“You’re kiddin!” I hoot after I drink from my tankard, wiping stray water from my chin, and Varric shakes his head again. “Y-You’re a hoot!”

 

“I suggest forgetting it, you two.” Declan chirps. “She’s oblivious.”

 

“Who wants to hear a song?!” I call, standing up, and the tavern burst with cheers.

 

“Now?!” Declan cries, I turn to him, sticking my tongue out at him with one eye closed, before I take a large drink of my water, setting the tankard before him, and step onto my chair, before hopping lightly onto the table, drawing Solas’ attention apparently.

 

“What on Earth are you doing?” He asks, a slightly amused smile on his face.

 

“Singing!” I call in a sing-song voice, before I throw my arms up. “Ready?!” People cheer again, I can vaguely register my brother’s smile.

 

“ _I feel a sin comin' on_

_I feel a right that's about to go wrong_

_I got a shiver down to the bone_

_I feel a sin comin' on_

 

_I gotta buzz in my brain_

_Drunk on a love goin' down like champagne_

_I got a feelin' it's gonna leave a lipstick stain_

_And I'll be the only one to blame_ ” Declan’s face falls, and he stand up as I sway my hips back and forth, my arms above my head.

 

“ _And you can see it_

_All over my face_

_Sweet temptation_

_All over the place_

_Give me tall dark and handsome,_

_Mix it up with somethin' strong_

_I feel a sin comin’ on_

 

_Please Jesus don't hold me back_

_I know it ain't mine but I want it so bad_

_The smoke and the whiskey's_

_Got me feeling easy_

_And the lights are all fading to black_ ”

 

“Kaleigh, time to stop!” Declan tries to reach out, to grab my swinging arm. “Kaleigh,” I step out of his reach, twirling as I let out a laugh. “Kaleigh get down, now!”

 

“ _And you can see it_

_All over my face_

_Sweet temptation_

_All over the place_

_Give me tall dark and handsome,_

_Mix it up with somethin' strong_

_I feel a sin comin' on_ ” Declan climbs on the table, reaching for me, but I swing around him, shoving him back to the floor as I smirk.

 

“Kaleigh!” He barks at me, turning back to face me, attempting to grab at me again.

 

“ _And you can see it (and you can see it)_

_All over my face (all over my face)_

_Sweet temptation_

_All over the place_

_Give me tall dark and handsome,_

_Mix it up with some strong_

_I feel a sin (I feel a sin) comin' on_

_I feel a sin (I feel a sin) comin' on_ ” Cheers erupt from the people around us, with that, I skip off the table, dropping right into Solas’s lap, causing the elf to grab me as I about tip out of his lap, and Declan stalks over, ripping me from his lap by my wrist.

 

“You’re in _such_ trouble.” He hisses, causing me to laugh.

 

“ _'Cause I knew you were trouble when you walked in_

_So shame on me now_

_Flew me to places I'd never been_

_'Til you put me down, oh_

_I knew you were trouble when you walked in_

_So shame on me now_

_Flew me to places I'd never been_

_Now I'm lying on the cold hard ground_

_Oh, oh, trouble, trouble, trouble_

_Oh, oh, trouble, trouble, trouble_ ”

 

“No!” Declan shoves his hand over my mouth, causing me to let out a laugh, and Varric lets out a boisterous laugh.

 

“You’re never gonna get her to stop now, Guardian.” Varric points out, causing Declan to look over at him, his hand falling away.

 

“ _I'll be your keeper for life as your guardian_

_I'll be your warrior of care your first warden_

_I'll be your angel on call, I'll be on demand_

_The greatest honor of all, as your guardian_ ” I manage to slip from my brother’s grip, spinning around as I sing.

 

“ _You, you in the chaos feigning sane_

_You who was pushed beyond what's humane_

_Them as a ghostly tumbleweed_

 

_And where was your watchman then_

 

_I'll be your keeper for life as your guardian_

_I'll be your warrior of care your first warden_

_I'll be your angel on call, I'll be on demand_

_The greatest honor of all, as your guardian_ ” Declan rushes forward, snatching me up, throwing my over his shoulder, causing me to let out a laugh, hanging limply over his shoulder as he shakes his head.

 

“Already, it’s bedtime.” He says, start towards the door.

 

“ _All through the day and the night_

_Whenever I'm near you_

_It feels like bedtime_

_Do you get lonely?_ ”

 

“Stop singing Usher!” Declan orders, causing me to let out a laugh, my breath leaves me in a rush when he bounds down the stairs, purposely making me knock against him on each one, before he starts towards my cabin.

 

“ _Why don’t you loooooooove me_?” I sing drunkenly, causing my brother to let out a groan, depositing me on the bed, his shoves me over with one finger, before stalking over to the fireplace, muttering about me being 12 minutes older and acting younger.

 

“Go. To. Sleep.” He orders once the fire is lit, a finger pointed in a scolding manner in my face, I smirk at him, wriggling up onto my pillows, before kicking off my boots, and curling up in a cocoon of the three blankets I have. He shakes his head, stalking out of the cabin with his hands above his head, the walls echo with a slam, and I find myself falling fast asleep. What feels like a few minutes later, my eyes snap open to burning bright light, a pounding in my head that resembles a woodpecker driving into wood, along with a bitter taste in my mouth, and no memory of anything last night past drink three.

 

“ _Fuuuuck_.” I groan, sitting up in bed, my hand rubbing at my forehead.

 

“Good morning, Da’len.” Solas greets me as I blink away the blurry film over my eyes, the elf is standing before the fireplace, a glass and vial in hand. “Or, should I say, good evening, since the 12th bell has long since passed.”

 

“ _Shhh_.” I urge, swatting at the air between us. “ If you speak anymore, I will stab you in the eyeball.” I hiss, before realizing that I’m speaking english.

 

“You realize I do not understand a word you just said, correct?” He saunters over to me, holding out the glass. “Drink.”

 

“I don’t wanna.” I grumble.

 

“You do not even know what it is.” Solas points out.

 

“It’s one of Varric’s miracle cures, I know _damn_ well what that is.” I snarl, causing the elf to smirk.

 

“Are they so terrible?” He inquires.

 

“You try a sip, you evil never drunk elf.” I answer half-heartedly, he simply looks from me, to the glass, before he shrugs, taking a small drink, before he snaps his head away, nose wrinkling.

 

“That is the most foul concoction that I have ever ingested!” He cries.

 

“Exactly,” I reach up, hand held out expectantly. “now give it.” I order, causing his brow to furrow.

 

“But, you just-”

 

“I just wanted to torment you, now give it here god dammit.” I hiis, snatching the cup as soon as it’s in my reach, I pinch my nose, throwing the drink back as fast as I can, before chasing it down with the nearby glass of water that Declan must have put on the table, last night.

 

“This is something that should help with any empty feeling in your stomach, or aches you feel from your escapade last night.” He states, holding out a blue vial, and I take it carefully, before I register his words, and let out a groan.

 

“Oh god, how bad was I?” I ask.

 

“Before, or after you attempted to crawl into your bodyguard’s lap?” Solas asks, causing my face to burn as I fall back on my bed with another groan. “I jest. The worst that happened was the provocative dancing whilst you were singing.”

 

“Oh… That’s not as bad.” I murmur, slowly sitting up as I use my teeth to uncork the vial, and take a large sip of the blue liquid, before I cork it once more, setting it to the side. A chill flows through me, a chocolaty flavor envelopes my tongue, and I let out a minty breath. “Holy shit, Solas, that was fan-fucking-tastic!”

 

“I am glad it meets your approval, Da’len.” He shuffles his feet for a moment. “Lady Cassandra expressed anger at your actions last night, and wished to see you as soon as you woke up.”

 

“Shit!” I shout, bolting off my bed to snatch my boots of the floor with one hand, raking my fingers through my hair with the other, stumbling into my boots as I scramble towards the Chantry “Be with you in a minute!” I call to the figure standing by the door recognizing that it’s Krem, and I burst into the war room to discover Declan, Cassandra, Cullen, Josephine, and Leliana all around the table.

 

“Ah, the Herald awakens.” Declan smirks as I stalk over to him, shoving him as hard as I can.

 

“You son of a bitch! Sorry mother.” I hiss at him. “You should’ve stopped me! You kept pouring more and more, you know that I can’t- and you just- I should-” I reel back my fist, slugging him across the face. “Why?!”

 

“Why? Because, Kay-bird!” Declan answers, rubbing his jaw. “Because, you’re so focused on the task at hand, that you didn’t even bother to tell you were having nightmares! That you weren’t even eating!” My brother looks at me, blood trickling down his chin from his lip. “You’re so worried about this Inquisition, and being the Herald, you haven’t taken the time to unwind!”

 

“But, you let me make a fool of myself?!” I growl.

 

“I tried to stop you!” Declan snarls. “You were so drunk, you wouldn’t listen to anyone! I had to carry you to your cabin!”

 

“You should’ve stopped!” I snap, lunging at him again, only for an arm to snatch me from my feet, a leather-clad hand on my stomach as Declan has his hands up, ready to defend against me.

 

“That’s enough, Herald.” Cullen’s voice is thick, husky, warm against my ear, and if I wasn’t so ticked off at my brother, I’d be squirming to get away before of the chills that slide down my back,

 

“I’m not your fucking Herald! I’m a girl, who’s going to murder her brother for getting her drunk!” I kick my legs, trying to escape, which is futile as Cullen carries me from the war room, out the Chantry doors, and throws me down into the nearest snowbank, the ice slips down every available crack, the chill serving to shock me.

 

“Now you stay down there, and cool off until you can act in a manner becoming of the Herald of Andraste!” Cullen orders, I glare up at him, huffing a lock of hair from my face, and he smirks for a second, before attempting to school his features, making me snort a laugh.

 

“Very convincing, Cullen.” I taunt. “Next time, you should hold off on smiling, until your back is turned.”

 

“And you should not attack your own flesh and blood, unless _their_ back is turned.” He teases, holding out his hand. “Now come on,” He shakes his hand. “up.”

 

“I’m still pissed.” I state, taking his hand, and he yanks me up so that I go flying to me feet, stumbling forward in a way that he has to catch me, and he pats me on the back, smiling down at me.

 

“You say that, but you got one good punch in, I think that satisfied you.” He says, and I look down at where our hands are still clasped, causing me to pull my hands quickly, causing him to chuckle as he rubs the back of his neck.

 

“You obviously don’t know me very well.” I state, meeting his topaz gaze with my earthy green one. “I grew up, sharing a room with Declan until I was 16, and by then, I was so used to guys, that I got along with our brothers more than our sisters.”

 

“Oh?” Cullen asks.

 

“We have three other brothers, and four other sisters.” I shrug, clasping my hands behind my back. “That’s what happens when your parents are Irish Catholics.” I state, smirking when Cullen gives me a confused look, and I wave it off, starting towards the door, Krem having watched us the entire time. “You’ve been watching for awhile.”

 

“Eh… Yeah, I’ve got a message for the inquisition, but I’m having a hard time getting anyone to talk to me.” Krem answers.

 

“I’m the Herald.” I state, causing his eyes to widen, before he straightens up.

 

“Herald, right, Cremisius Aclassi, with The Iron Bull’s Chargers Mercenary Company. We mostly work out of Orlais and Nevarra.” He says. “We’ve got word of some Tevinter Mercenaries gathering out on the Storm Coast.” He smiles, arms behind his back. “My company commander, Iron Bull, offers the information free of charge. If you’d like to see what the Bull’s Charges can do for the Inquisition, meet us there and watch us work.”

 

“We’ll consider your offer.” I send him a wink, watch Cullen nod as he heads inside, and once he’s out of earshot, I smile at Krem. “You’re know, I still say, there are worse way to go with Cremisius, Krem. Tell Bull, it’s gonna be great seeing him again.”

 

“Right, nice seeing you again too, Kaleigh.” He shoots me a grin, before walking off as I smile, turning on my heel, and marching inside the Chantry once more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I totally did not plan that! It kinda makes sense, considering her wandering through Thedas- I didn't say she JUST stayed on the Warden's path. Enjoy! :P


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Meeting Bull, and a sickquisitor.

 

~Chapter Ten~

 

Sloshing through the storm, Declan is whining while Solas, Cassandra, and Varric keep pace, and I occasionally pause to glance at our map, before we start on once more. It takes a grand total of one week, to get to the Storm Coast, it takes a grand total for us to set up camp, and wait for a raven in response to my own, before we’re on the move to the rendezvous point. It’s easy to spot, even in the heavy downpour and fog, just by spotting the giantass horned Qunari swinging the giantass battle axe, slicing clean through a Tevinter assassin’s head, causing me to smirk, arms crossed as everyone else behind me seems anxious to jump into the fray.  _ Somethings never change. _ I find myself thinking, and just as the last guy goes down, we start towards the Mercenary Group, I pause just a few feet from where Bull is talking with Krem, noticing a glint of a blade from the shadow, I swing my arm back, chucking my dagger, watching it strike true, the rogue falls dead out of stealth mode, and Bull turns with a surprised look.

 

“You still don’t watch your back.” I state, walking forward to rip my dagger from the rogue’s skull, and wipe the blood on my sleeve, sliding the blade into my sheath as I look up at Bull. “How many times did Stitches have to patch your ass up, in the eight months I traveled with you?”

 

“Song Bird! What’re you doin here?” Bull cries, his arms spread wide as I roll my weight to on hip, perching my hand on said hip.

 

“I’m here, cause you sent Krem to Haven, for a job with the Inquisition.” I answer.

 

“Wait.” Bull blinks, hands falling to his side. “You’re not-”

 

“The Herald of Andraste?” I snort, rolling my eyes. “Not my choice of a title.”

 

“Aw hell!” Bull bursts into laughter, coming up to pat me on the arm, sending me stumbling a few feet forward, and Declan clears his throat, causing me to look at him.

 

“Oi, Chief!” I call to the great buffoon that is practically falling over, laughing, he pauses, turning to me.

 

“You can’t call me that any more, Song Bird.” He points out.

 

“Then don’t call me Song Bird anymore.” I counter.

 

“Okay,  _ Boss _ .” He answers, causing me to shudder.

 

“Yeah, cause  _ that _ ’s not weird.” I snort, before I turn back to Declan, grabbing him by the wrist, and drag him forward. “This is my twin brother, Declan.” Bull blinks at me, then looks over at Declan, before turning his head back to me.

 

“Howzat?” He inquires, causing me to smirk.

 

“He just…  _ showed _ up.” I state, causing Bull’s eyes to widen, then he smirks at Declan.

 

“So, you’re our Song Bird’s twin!” Bull booms. “Means you’re gonna get your own nickname!”

 

“Speaking of which, Gizmo, how many does that make?” Varric asks.

 

“Let’s just say, if I’m ever introduced at a royal affair, it’s going to be: The Herald of Andraste, Song Bird of the Iron Bull’s Chargers, Gizmo the adopted sister of the Champion of Kirkwall, and  _ pequeña flor _ of the ex-antivan crow, Guardian’s Kay-Bird, Kaleigh.” I state, causing Varric to laugh, Bull chimes in with his own laughter, and even Solas chuckles, I notice that Declan just continues to stare at the Giant before him. “So, Bull,” The Qunari looks at me. “Declan’s hobbies include being an overprotective ass, screwing practically anything that walks, and writing dirty friendfiction about Qunari.” At this, Declan slugs me in the arm, and Bull’s grin stretches.

 

“Well, you ever want to act out some of that that friendfiction, just let me know.” Bull shoots Declan a wink, who goes bright red, and I let out a laugh.

 

“That was fast!” I chirp, wiping a fake tear from my eye. “So, we can you start working?”

 

“Krem, tell the boys to pack it up, they can drink on the road!” Bull orders.

 

“But we just opened the casks, boss! With axes.” Krem complains.

 

“You can figure out how to close them.” I state, smirking at Krem winks at me.

 

“You’re Tevinter, so try blood magic.” Bull says, causing me to smack him on the chest, causing him to rumble with laughter.

 

“Sticking around? I’ve got some work around.” I say, causing Bull to shrug.

 

“I’m gonna go with the Chargers, we got a whole camp to pack up.” He answers.

 

“Right, see you back at Haven.” I answer with a nod, my companions and Declan fall in behind me as we start down the beach.

 

“ You didn’t say you knew The Iron Bull. ” Declan complains.

 

“ You didn’t ask. ” I shoot back.

 

“There you both go with that bizarro language again. You know that nobody else understands you, right?” Varric calls from the back of the group.

 

“ That’s the point! ” Declan and I answer in unison.

 

“Great, now the twin thing.” Varric grumbles. “That might as well be you two’s secret twin language.”

 

“ Great idea. ” Declan and I unison once more, causing Varric to groan in annoyance.

 

“No, but why didn’t you tell me?” Declan asks.

 

“I work with them for ten months, that’s all.” I shrug, causing him to cross his arms, pouting as he falls back beside Varric.

 

“Aw, what’s wrong Guardian? Gizmo, shut you down?” The dwarf teases.

 

“Keep it up, Varric. The only thing keeping me from shaving off your chest hair, is because I like looking at it.” Declan taunts, causing me to snort out a laugh.

 

“Hey! Don’t threaten the babe magnet!” Varric manages to honestly sound aghast.

 

“The only girl you’ve got your eyes on, is Bianca.” I state, turning back to look at him, and he strokes his crossbow lovingly.

 

“Exactly, and she’s the most beautiful girl out there.” He answers.

 

“You really should stop letting her string you along.” I taunt, causing him to let out a gasp, holding Bianca to his chest.

 

“Don’t you listen to her, Bianca. You don’t string me along, you’re daddy’s girl.” Varric coos, and Cassandra lets out a disgusted noise, while Declan laughs, and Solas shakes his head.

* * *

 

Two weeks later, we’re on the outskirts of Haven, each of us is exhausted and wet and sore, and as soon as we get the horses in the stables, I watch as everyone leaves the servants to untack and groom their horses, while I start on my own, despite the fact that my hands a shaking and I am shivering, my hair dripping wet from the nonstop onslaught of rain we had gotten poured on us in the Storm Coast, and seemed to follow us to Haven.

 

“Hichew!” I sneeze and sniffle as I sling Thindrol’s saddle over the side of the stall, wiping my nose as I grab a currycomb from a bucket, and start to brush the brambles and clumps of dirt from the horse’s coat, then I grab the pitchfork from nearby, starting to spread out the new bedding from his stall, when a strong hand grabs the pitchfork from my grasp, and a blurred figure captures my chin, pressing his forehead to my own.

 

“You are feverish, _mi_ _pequeña flor_ , and you’ve yet to draw off.” Zevran murmurs, frown as I yank my head away.

 

“Lemme be. I gotta take care of Thindrol.” I sniffle, causing him to glance at my horse, than the others’.

 

“We’ve servants for that, no?” He asks, reaching for my hand, but I smack his away.

 

“I  _ don’t _ want to let anyone touch my horse. He’s  _ my _ responsibility!” I shout, my head swims, and I stumble only for a hand, that doesn’t belong to Zevran, to capture my elbow.

 

“Stubborn woman.” Cullen shakes his head, and I frown.

 

“When did you get here?” I murmur, causing him to sigh.

 

“I approached with your body guard.” Cullen states.

 

“Well, you lemme go too!” I sniffle, attempting to yank my elbow from his grip.

 

“No.” Cullen states, leaning down to my height to look me in the eyes. “You are going to catch your death, unless you bathe and change.”

 

“‘M fine!” I snap, causing him to nod, and I start to lean, stumbling to stay upright, when Zevran catches me, hefting me back to my feet.

 

“That’s what I thought. Come on.” Cullen lifts me off my feet, tossing me over his shoulder, and I kick my feet, pound on his back.

 

“Pumme down! Pumme down! ‘M not a sack o’ potatoes!” I scream as we walk through the small village, and once we enter the warm Chantry, he sets me on the floor, and I smack him on the chest. “‘M not a doll that e’er one can pick up!”

 

“The baths are downstairs.” Cullen says, pushing me into another person’s arms. “Make sure she’s dry, she’s already sick.”

 

“What?” Oh, it’s Cassandra. “She didn’t say anything to the rest of us!”

 

“Cassie Cass.” I coo, leaning into her warmth. “You’re warm.”

 

“Yes yes,” Cassandra sighs. “Let’s just get you in a bath.” The world tilts as she lifts me from my feet, causing me to giggle, and curl up at she takes me downstairs, entering a mystery room which is warm, the mixed scents of herbs, and steamy warm. “Strip and get in.” She orders causing me to nod, answering the order right away. She works up a lather into my hair, before rinsing it out, before she leaves me to wash my body, before I soak for a bit, my eyes fluttering tiredly. “Get dressed.” She comes in, ordering as she drops a change of clothes on the nearby chair, walking out once more, and I wait until the door is closed, before I stumble out of the bath, drying off and dressing- she instantly grabs my towel as I walk out, attacking my head with it, causing me to giggle childishly.

 

“What’s going on here?” Declan asks.

 

“Your  _ sister _ never mentioned that she wasn’t feeling well.” Cassandra continues to dry my hair, while I wave at Declan, causing him to groan.

 

“Great. Kay-Bird, come on.” He says once Cassandra releases me, and I walk over to Declan, hopping on his back as he shakes his head. “Drunk, you’re a floozy singer. Sick, you’re a child.” He mutters, walking up the stairs, and out into the Chantry yard, starting towards me cabin, before pausing. “Better take you to Solas, actually.” With that, he spins around, causing me to squeal, throwing my arms out with a laugh.

 

“Whee!” I cry as he trots towards Solas’s cabin, knocking on the door, and the elf answers. “Hiya, eggy!” I beam at him, he blinks at me, then looks at Declan for explanation.

 

“Guess why she was so quiet, on the trip back.” Declan states.

 

“Enlighten me.” Solas crosses his arms behind his back.

 

“Hichew!” I cover my mouth as I sneeze, causing a mirthful look to cross Solas’s face.

 

“What was  _ that _ , Da’len?” Solas inquires.

 

“She’s sick. That was her sneezing.” Declan answers in my stead as I sneeze once more. “Sadly, she reverts to a child, when she’s sick.”

 

“Lovely.” Solas’s sarcasm is evident.

 

“I need someone to watch over her at all times. I can’t do it.” Declan shakes his head. “I could never handle her sick.”

 

“Very well, place her on the spare bed.” With Solas moving out of the way, Declan enters the room, depositing me on the bed, before groaning as he stands.

 

“You sure are tiny for someone who weighs so much.” Declan complains, and I pout at him, crossing my arms over my chest, that cues an eyeroll from him, before he covers me with a thick blanket, and Solas kneels beside the fireplace, taking a few coals with pliers, and placing them into a metal pot. Walking over with the pot, he lifts up the mattress, tucking the hotpot under the mattress, he flattens the mattress back over it so that the heat seeps into the blanket and mattress, and I roll over, my eyes flutter shut rather quickly.


	12. Chapter 12

~Chapter Eleven~

 

After three days of bedrest, Solas constantly forcing a thick meaty stew down my throat, and one potion after another, is gone, followed by the cough that had developed, and now the elven apostate has allowed me five walks a day, with the boundaries of Haven, of course. Peeking over at Solas, who is snoozing lightly in his bed, I slink out of my bed, carefully avoiding the ward he placed by the side of my bed, I slip on my boots, and quietly tiptoe to the door. The elf rolls over, causing me to freeze midstep, watching him as he settles back into bed, and I grab my vest from the hook by the door, shrugging it on as I scurry out into the chilly air. The door quietly clicks shut behind me, causing me to smile triumphantly as I take a step back, watching the cabin for a moment, before realizing that there is an ice feeling crawling up my leg, causing me to look down, letting out a hiss at the ward there. A swift glance back at the cabin, I can practically hear Solas scowling as I turn on my heel, bolting down the walk, and into the training grounds. “Good morning, Herald.” I look up from where I am hidden behind a crate, seeing Cullen standing there with his arms crossed over his chest, a familiar smirk on his face.

 

“Ah, Commander!” I stand up, giving him a airy smile, rubbing the back of my neck. “H-How are you?” My eyes drift to the gate, where I am, watching Solas stalk through, causing me to squeak, and duck. Cullen glances over at the gate, brows furrowing.

 

“Ah, hiding from your caretaker, I see.” His smirks over at me, eyes twinkling with mischief, before he turns to the soldiers, pointing at one, and barking out an order. “Prepare yourself, he’s on his way over.” He warns, causing me to squeak, ducking further behind the box as Cullen steps forward to greet Solas. I peer around the side of the box, watching them speak for a moment or two, before Solas turns around and stalks off.

 

“Wow,” I look up at Cullen as he returns to his spot beside me. “What did you say?”

 

“That you are not a sheep, needing corralled by a herder. You will continue to hide and fight back against treatment, if you are feeling better, because you feel trapped.” Cullen answers, causing me to stare up at him in awe.

 

“Wow… well, thanks… I guess.” I stand up to smile at him, and he returns the smile, rubbing his neck. “Cullen, I…” I let out a sigh, shaking my head. “It’s nothing, nevermind.” I state, smiling up at him. “Thank you again.”

 

“You are welcome, Herald.” He says, and I frown, causing him to tilt his head a bit, looking at me. “Something is troubling you?”

 

“No, it’s… I just hate it.” I state.

 

“Hate what?” He inquires.

 

“That title. You know my name, I wish you’d use it instead.” I state, dropping onto the crate, my fingers carding through my hair.

 

“If that is was you truly wish, Kaleigh.” He smiles at me. “I have no trouble with doing so.”

 

“It’s just, I’m not even Andrastian, so how am I supposed to be her Herald?” I shake my head. “I mean, I’m not even  _ from _ this world, and you call me the Herald of Andraste.”

 

“Because, it is not about the title, it is about the meaning of the title. Your title brings hope for all who had none previously.” Cullen kneels before me, looking me in the eyes. “You are bigger than yourself, now.”

 

“I don’t even know what that means.” I drop my hands into my lap, glaring at them as I feel an urge of hopelessness fill me. “I just want, what I have always wanted. Those I care about safe, and the chance to go home again.” I murmur softly, causing his brow to furrow, before he grabs one of my hands, and stands.

 

“Come with me.” He says, and I look up at him, causing me to smile reassuringly down at me. “It’s not far, just come along.” I slowly stand, following after him as he pulls me along behind him, my eyes on his broad shoulders as he hurriedly leads me through Haven, towards the outskirts, and up the mountain path, before leading me inside a cave. The sound of running water echoes off the walls, a feeling of humidity hangs in the air, causing perspiration to bead along my brow, and he spins me around, clasping his hands over my eyes, before slowly walking me forward. “Listen to the water rushing, drops echoing as they fall to the floor, and smell the scent of something sweet, just hanging in the air, taste is practically on your tongue.” As soon as he finishes talking, we stop walking, and he removes his hands, revealing a beautiful natural hot spring. Gems of all kinds sparkle, inlaid in the walls, natural light beaming down from a hole in the roof, steam rises from the crystal clear water, and around the bend of the spring, flowers bloom of vibrant shades, their smells are the source of the sweetness hanging in the air.

 

“Wow…” I gasp, looking back at the Commander, who is leaning against  nearby wall, a smile on his face, and his arms crossed over his chest. “This is… Wow.”

 

“I found this by accident, the day we met again. When you closed the breach, the light was so bright that I stumbled into here, it was covered by some bushes- likely to hide it from view, but I remember thinking that I’d never seen something so beautiful, amongst such a dark time.” He says, stepping forward as I look at the emeralds, rubies, and diamonds, along with various other gems, glisten. “The flowers around it, they have some kind of healing properties. They must have been planted a long time ago, cause the water heals too.”

 

“The healing properties must have seeped into the water.” I murmur, reaching out to brush the petals of a red flower. “But, why show me this?”

 

“Because,  _ this _ is bigger than itself. If some merchant found this, he could bottle the water, and sell it for thousands of gold. But, if I keep it hidden, and one woman becomes sick, I can walk up here, bottle the water, and give it to her for nothing.” Cullen explains. “The water helps those, asking for nothing in return. You’ve done everything for the inquisition, even after we’ve treated you like garbage, and accused you of murdering the divine, and ask for nothing in return.”

 

“You make it sound like I’m being noble. But, all I want, is a chance to save the ones I care for here, because if I don’t, living here would be unbearable.” I shake my head. “I can’t go home, but I can make  _ this _ my home… I’m no hero, I’m just a girl who’s selfish enough to do the right thing, because it suits me.”

 

“You still don’t get it, do you?” Cullen asks, causing me to look at him in confusion. “Right and wrong, selfish and unselfish, noble and unnoble. It doesn’t matter why you’re doing this. What matters is you are the only one that can, and you are choosing to do this.” He leans down, picking a flower.

 

“You can’t pick a flower, without jiggling a star.” I state, causing him to look up at me, a smile spreads across his face.

 

“You told me that once before, in Kirkwall. This is what I am trying to explain to you, you are a flower, that some higher power, being it fate, or destiny, be it the Maker or His bride, picked. Now you are doing the impossible, and jiggling the stars.” He explains, causing me to take a deep breath, watching as he drops each petal of the flower into the water. “Do you understand now?”

 

“Yes.” I nod, watching the petals float and spin across the water, before sinking to the bottom, and being washed away. “Thank you Cullen, I feel… refreshed talking to you.” I state, causing him to nod, gesturing towards the opening, and I spare the cave one last look, before he smiles at me as we leave.

 

“You are welcome to come back, whenever you wish. This shall be our secret.” Cullen offers, causing my smile to spread.

 

“Really? Thank you!” I cry causing him to chuckle, throwing my arms around him, only to freeze as he does, and I jump back, a blush on my face. “S-Sorry.”

 

“Maker’s Breath.” He murmurs under his breath, so I attempt to pretend I didn’t hear it,  he is rubbing his neck as he looks away. “I-It’s fine. N-Nothing to worry about.” He forces a shaky grin on his face, and feel my cheeks burning deeper.

 

“I’m going to… take a walk.” I choke out. “Why don’t you head back first?”

 

“Yes. Of course.” Cullen nods, starting towards Haven as I let out a breath, falling face first into a nearby snowbank, feeling the snow practically melt from the heat on my cheeks. Once I can no longer feel my cheeks, let along my face, I climb to my feet, patting my cheeks with frosty hands, and start back towards Haven, the wind picks up as I shiver, rubbing my hands together for warmth. I look back to find that it is starting to snow once more, and not a light just falling snow, but a rather heavy snow, causing me to worry my lip between my teeth, starting fast towards Haven. The wind is so sharp, biting at my face so much that my eyes sting, and tears fall from my cheeks, the path to Haven is covered with snow, but I continue on, my worry increasing as it feels like it’s taking hours to get back, when I finally feel my exhaustion, from my illness and fighting to walk in the storm, creep up on me, causing me to struggle and stumble, catching myself on a tree branch, only to let out a hiss, white blurring my vision marring it with red as I study my hand, the smell of water and iron strike my nose, making my stomach roll, and clench my fist, forcing myself to continue on. It feels like hours longer, when my knees finally give out from the exhaustion, and I fall into a mound of snow, rolling to make sure I land on my back, my breathing coming out in short stitches as my eyes flutter weakly, and I can no longer feel my fingers and toes, let alone basically anything else. A shadowed figure stands over me, I can see nothing but their lips moving, their words being lost in the wind, before everything goes dark.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh dear. Dun DUN DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN!


	13. Chapter 13

 

~Chapter Twelve~

 

Heat. Blistering blissful burning heat, I can feel it seeping through the cold, chasing the ache away, lifting me from the darkness, and allowing me breathe again, I can hear the rapid rhythmic beating of another’s heart pressed against my ear, and I can feel a muscular arm around my waist, before my sluggish mind can register either of those things, a warm, very wet hand cups my face, causing heat to streak through my cheek, and thin fingers trace my lips, causing my eyes to snap open, my head comes up to connect with whoever’s head is in front of me, and I flail as the arm falls from my waist, realizing that I am in water. “Calm down!” Someone shouts, grabbing my arms at the wrists, and I suck in sharp breaths, keeping my eyes shut as my teeth chatter. “You are safe. I found you out in the snow storm.” I realize that the voice sounds familiar, causing me to open my eyes, and I blink rapidly as his eyes widen with realization.

 

“H-Ho- Holy shit!” I stutter out, causing him to release my wrists, chuckling at me, that deep rich chuckle that is so sinful as it slithers down my back, I have to repress a shudder. “F-F-F-Fenris!”

 

“Kaleigh.” He nods his head, and I look around, realizing that we are in Cullen’s cave, in the hot springs, both of us are still fully clothed, thankfully, but my hair is wet, as though he had dunked me in the water. “I hadn’t realized that it was you. You were laying in the snow, you looked like you were about to die, so I had brought you here.”

 

“How did you know about this place?” He chuckles at my question.

 

“I found it a few days ago, on the road, I noticed that there were footprints leading to and from the wall, so I came inside to camp out.” He explains, wading over to the side of the spring, and he climbs out, holding a hand out to me. “Now, I return the question.”

 

“Cullen brought me here, he found it a few months ago.” I answer, taking his hand, and he hefts me from the water, his arm going to my waist automatically.

 

“Truly? The Knight-Commander is nearby?” He asks.

 

“Uh, in Haven. He’s kinda… the commander of the Inquisition’s troops.” I answer, pressing away from him, only for my knees to ache and I start to fall, but he catches me, chuckling.

 

“You are still weak.” He says, lifting me in his arms, and carrying me over to a rocky area separate from the spring area, where he deposits me on a solid stone. “Here,” He reaches into a nearby bag, pulling out leather leggings and a white tunic, and hands them to me. “change into these.” He walks away, allowing me to shed the stiff wet clothes I am wearing, and struggling into the tunic and leggings, before he returns with some of the weeds from the flower bed, and throws them into a stack of wood nearby.

 

“Where were you earlier, when Cullen and I were here?” I ask, causing him to glance over at me as he strikes the flint and steel.

 

“I was out hunting, I had planned to make my way to Haven, but I knew that the storm was coming days ago, and this cave was the best shelter for it.” Fenris answers, pausing as the flint sparks, and he blows on the spark, lighting a fire in the corner of the small room. “Where did you go, Kaleigh?” I can tell he’s been waiting to ask me that, since he realized that it was me. “We came back, and Hawke was a mess, but you were just… gone.”

 

“I couldn’t stay, Fen.” I shake my head, bringing my knees up to my chest, holding them there. “Leandra was overbearing, and Elijah…” I shake my head.

 

“Would have been just as much, after his mother’s death.” Fenris finishes for me, finally moving to stand. He turns to me, an understanding look on his face, and I look down, guilt filling me.

 

“I love you guys, but I couldn’t stay.” I clench my fist. “It was too much, and I still wanted to get home. I traveled, found work where I could, and talked to mages and alchemists, but I-” I swallow thickly, tears burning behind my eyes. “It doesn’t matter anymore. What matters now, is we have to get to Haven. I don’t want anyone else getting stuck in the storm, because of me.”

 

“What do you mean?” Fenris inquires, causing me to give him a smile.

 

“Well, they’re certainly not going to defeated this Breach in the sky, without the great Herald of Andraste.” I point out, causing Fenris to blink.

 

“You mean to say that _you_ -”

 

“Yeah.” I let out a chuckle. “Figured Varric would’ve mentioned that.”

 

“How did you know that I’m here because of Varric?” Fenris asks.

 

“Are you kidding? After all the friendfiction that dwarf wrote about the two of us?” I snort a laugh, and Fenris’s face darkens to a red shade. “So, ideas on how to brave this storm, and get to Haven?”

 

“No.” Fenris sighs, leaning against the wall nearby. “I had planned to wait it out, hence all the food, and supplies.” He gestures to the wood, leafs, and buckets of water, a few husks of dried meat hanging on the wall.

 

“I can see that, but I have got to get to Haven.” I point out once more.

 

“You are still weak.” Fenris argues.

 

“That’s because I was sick, when I got caught in the storm!” I hiss, before falling quiet as he narrows his eyes at me. “Waiting out the storm, the two of us, isn’t a good idea.”

 

“It will be over in a few days. You will be healed by then, and we can go to Haven.” Fenris states, walking over to me, he wraps a black cloak around my shoulders, and I realize now, looking at him, that he has changed. His eyes have brightened, less hatred in them, his hair has grown, held back by a familiar green ribbon, and his old leather armor has been replaced with new leather armor, a mix of green and brown across his leggings and arms, his feet are still bare, and there are a varying shade of green throughout everything else in his armor.

 

“Alright.” I finally give up, drawing the cloak closed, discreetly inhaling his spicy woody leather scent that clings to it still, the first scent that made me think of Thedas as home. I look down at my hands as he pulls some meat from a husk, and starts to cook it over the fire, sighing as I spin the ring on my finger, I look over find him watching me, eyes trained on the ring.

 

“You still wear it.” I blink, looking down at the ring, before I frown, slipping the gold band off my finger.

 

“It was something to give me hope… Now I just can’t forget it.” I answer, causing him to frown.

 

“You love him that much?” Fenris asks.

 

“I _loved_ him that much.” I sigh, sliding the ring back on my finger, looking down as I spin it again. “He didn’t love me as much, I suppose.”

 

“Oh?” Fenris inquires, a light edge to his tone.

 

“He married someone else.” I answer.

 

“How do you know?” He counters.

 

“Can you believe it, but my twin brother showed up here?” I let out a laugh, shaking my head. “I asked him about him, and he told me...” Tears burn in my eyes but I blink them away. “He’s didn’t _want_ to tell me, but I made him. God,” I press my palm to my eyes, tilting my head back. “he married the person I hate most in my life!”

 

“It sounds to me, that you got a free pass from a life of misery.” Fenris mutters, but I pretend I didn’t hear him, not wanting to start another fight between us, after being apart so long.

 

“How long, do you suppose?” I find myself asking.

 

“How long what?” He inquires, looking over as I feel another tear trail down my cheek.

 

“How long, do you suppose he loved her, but settled for me?” I finally ask, wiping the tear from my face to look over at him, he looks down a slight panicked look on his face.

 

“Who is to say.” He stands, handing me to the stick of meat. “Eat, I’ll make up a bedroll for you.” He says as I look down at the meat, ripping a piece of with my teeth, and watch him roll out a bedroll, then layer it with dried furs.

 

“Were you hoping to sell, some pelts?” I ask.

 

“Yes, but they’ll be better used for you to stay warm.” He answers, causing me to nod, chewing on some more of the meat, frowning as fill guilt fill me at the thought slipping into my mind. _I have to get to Haven… I’ll have to sneak out while he’s asleep._ “Hurry to finish.” He gestures to my meat, causing me to nod, finishing the food off, and walking over to the bedroll, curling up in it and the furs. It isn’t until I was sure, listening to the sound of his breathing, before I stand from the blankets, wrapping the cloak around me. I pull a ram’s skin over my shoulders, before I quietly walk over to the cave entrance, then glance back at him lying peacefully in the warmth of the cave, before I bite my lips, and slip out into the storm. The cold wind blows and burns my face, my cheeks as I struggle forward, my palm burns as I stumble through the trees, one arm raised against the snow that seems to cling and curl in every crevice.

 

“Idiot.” I hiss as I stumble against the nearest tree, my hand slicing against the nearby tree, causing me to let out a hiss, my head pulses as my face burns, not just from the cold, but from the lingering of my illness. I reminder of which, is ripped from my throat in the form of a cough, my head is pounding as I struggle to right myself, then stumble forward only to catch myself once more, on another tree.

 

“You idiot!” I jump, whirling around at the hand that is on my wrist, finding Fenris glaring at me, face windblown as he stares at me, fear on his face.

 

“F-F-Fenris…” I stumble forward, and he reaches out, catching me as my knees give, and I cling to his cloak, he seems to radiate heat. “C-C-Cold.”

 

“I know,” He growls. “come here.” He lifts me into his arms, wrapping his cloak around me as he starts to backtrack, my head lolls heavily against his chest, shivers racking my body as everything goes dark once more.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little apology chapter for the unexpected hiatus. I'm sorry.

 

_ ~Chapter Thirteen~ _

 

After the blizzard had ended, three days after my escape attempt, Fenris carried me on his back to Haven, my fever had spiked during the night, and he said he practically kissed the ground in thanks, when the storm ended, because he was sure I was going to die if it didn’t stop soon. I remember rambling on, half delirious, the walk entire walk to Haven, and I remember Cullen, Declan, Solas, Zevran, Leliana, Cassandra, and Josephine all greeting us, Fenris yelling about my being an idiot, and then… surrounded by warmth and darkness. The darkness is what current is holding me, swaddling me, occasionally shifting and changing allowing me to watch old memories, like now.

 

**_Standing before a large tank, housing a thousand different types of fish, my head resting on Michael's shoulder as his rests his arm around my shoulders. This was a special date, our three year anniversary, when I dressed in a black skirt and green blouse, and Michael demanded that I change. Suddenly two scuba divers swim over, knocking on the glass. I blink as I look up at Michael, who shrugs, waving and the two of them unravel a huge banner that reads “MARRY ME, KALEIGH?” causing me to look over at Michael, who smiles, holding out a simple gold band to me, causing me to gasp, my eyes widening as he gets down on one knee._ **

 

**Say no** **_. I think to myself, watching my own head nod, and I sigh, frowning as the scene fades, and the darkness engulfs me again, only something is different about this darkness._ ** Light tingles the back of my eyelids, teasing them open, and standing above me is a dark haired girl, with shaggy brown hair, and warm brown eyes, freckles dot her face and parts of her arms that are stretched out before me. “Hello, how are you feeling?” She asks, a familiar look in her eyes causes me to frown, my brows furrowing.

 

“I’m not cold anymore.” My voice cracks from disuse, and she smiles, sitting back from, what I realize is her placing a warm rag on my forehead, and lifts a cup from a nearby table, placing it to my lips, allowing me to draw in a warm drink, my eyes widening as the taste explodes across my tongue. “That’s…”

 

“Hot chocolate.” She answers, causing me to stare at the cup in shock, looking up at her. “Haven’t you ever had hot chocolate before?” She asks, causing me to press my lips into a firm line.

 

“Thank you. My name is Kaleigh.” I answer, causing her to nod.

 

“Yeah, you’re the Herald of Andraste.” She answers, and I look at her. “I’m Liz, Liz Trevelyan.” I blink at her, she’s dressed in grey leathers, with her feet bare, and a staff in her grip.

 

“How long was I out?” I ask, sitting up as she twirls the staff around, then looks up at me.

 

“Two days, when I got here, it’s been about a day since.” She answers, causing me to sigh, slowly lugging my legs over the side of the bed, and rub my face with my free hand, before taking another drink.

 

“I would kill for some tv, and a shower.” I mutter to myself, surprised by the chuckle from the girl.

 

“You and I both.” She says, before I blink, looking up at her, and she gapes at me. “Y-You-!”

 

“You’re-” I gape, she ducks her head, before rushing out of the cabin, and as I go to get up, to go after her, the door bursts open with Fenris, Declan, and Krem all barging in. “Oh, hey… guys.” Declan grabs me, hugging me as if it’s the last he’ll ever see of me.

 

“You idiot! What were you thinking?!” My brother scolds as he pulls back, looking at me.

 

“I was thinking that I wasn’t going to let anyone else sacrifice their lives, to find me.” I answer honestly.

 

“You idiot!” Krem chimes in. “You should know by now, you’re more important to everyone, than anyone else!”

 

“That’s not how it should be!” The three of them stare at my outburst. “The Herald of Andraste should not be the most important person, but instead, should be the one that is able to be sacrificed at a moment’s notice, for the good of others!”

 

“Calm down, sis.” Declan steps forward, sitting on the edge of my bed, and wraps me in a big hug. “You just worried us.”

 

“You’re right.” I lean into the hug, resting my head on his chest as exhaustion rolls through me. “I’m sorry.”

 

“I’m not the one you should apologize to.” He gestures to Fenris, causing me to stand, his hand automatically going to my elbow as I stumble in place, before helping me over to Fenris’ side.

 

“Fen, I… I’m sorry that I caused you to worry, and that you had to chase me into the blizzard, and just… for everything else to.” I lower my head, causing him to sigh, wrapping me in another hug.

 

“It’s alright, Kaleigh.” He murmurs, his warm radiating from his marks sends a thrill through me, and I step back, leaning into my brother’s touch as my head starts to feel heavy.

 

“I’m starving.” I murmur, my stomach growls loudly, as if to punctuate my words.

 

“I will go get you something to eat.” Fenris says.

 

“I’ll let boss know you’re awake.” Krem adds, the two of them making a break for the door as my brother helps me over to my bed, fluffing up my pillows to allow me to sit up. Once I’ve settled into the bed, Declan sits next me, one leg dangling off the bed as I rest my head on the wall behind my head.

 

“I’ve got a request.” Declan looks over at me, to acknowledge that he is listening. “The girl who was in here, taking care of me.”

 

“Liz?” He asks.

 

“So, met her?”

 

“Yeah, we’ve talked a bit.”

 

“She’s a Trevelyan.” He blinks, looking over at me.

 

“You’re kidding, right?” I shake my head. “Well, what’s the request?”

 

“She’s like us.” He looks me in the face, surprise evident. “I’m not mistaken, just trust me. I need you to bring her here, she’s run off. Don’t reveal her.”

 

“A-Alright.” He stammers out, causing me to smile over at him, patting his hand as he stand, walking out as he softly shuts the cabin door behind him, allowing me to rest my eyes, my head pounding.

* * *

 

A few days later, I’ve managed to recover from the illness that had gripped me previously, sitting in the Tavern with Varric, Fenris, and Declan, Bull and Krem are nearby, Rocky is handing from the chandelier above, drunkenly snoring as we all talk. “So, you’re Kaleigh’s twin brother?”

 

“Yeah,” Declan answers.

 

“So, which if you is older?” Bull asks, leaning over to the table. He question causes Declan and I exchange smug looks, then look at Bull, shrugging in unison, causing Bull’s face to fall from the grin he had.

 

“You gotta know!” Varric gawfs, causing me to let out a laugh, shifting so that my legs fall over the arm of my chair.

 

“ I think we’ll drive Varric and Bull nuts. ” Declan says, causing my smile to grow.

 

“ I think you are right, baby brother. ” I respond, causing his own smirk to grow, before the door slams open, revealing Cullen entering the tavern, Liz’s arm in his tight grip. “Cullen?”

 

“You wanted to speak to her, I finally caught her.” He shoves the stumbling girl toward me, she glares up at the commander, baring her teeth.

 

“You only caught me, because you had one of your templars  _ smite _ me!” Liz shouts, then she looks at me.

 

“ I only wanted to talk, not have you run off. ” I state, standing to walk over to her, she looks up at me in awe, and Declan wanders over as well.

 

“ Be careful, Kaleigh. She’s keeping quiet, about her origins, remember? ” Declan reminds me.

 

“ Oh, I remember. I just want her to know that she has nothing to fear from myself, nor anyone else. Everyone is aware of our origins, and if Liz wants to keep quiet about  _ her _ origins, than she can trust us to keep quiet about them, as well. ” I answer, causing my brother to nod, as if in confirmation, and Liz frowns, before she shakes out of Cullen’s grip, who glances at me, walking away as I nod. The three of us walk outside, away from prying eyes, and eavesdropping ears. Once we’re further from the tavern, closer to the alchemist cabin, we step behind the shelter of the empty cabin, Liz casting a few wards and a barrier, before looking at my brother and I.

 

“You two are able to speak it.” She says, causing me to nod. “I haven’t been able to _. _ ”

 

“I’m surprised that Declan can, but I learned to speak Thedasan a natural way.” I explain, causing her to nod. “Look, Liz, you  _ can  _ trust us. I promise.”

 

“We just don’t want you going through this world, on your own.” Declan explains.

 

“But-”

 

“Just promises us, that you’ll stay close. That’s all we want.”

 

“I… okay…” She nods, before banishing the barrier, then waves away the wards, before the three of us start back towards the tavern, Liz wanders off on her own, while Declan and I enter the tavern again. The next morning, Cullen, Leliana, Josephine, Declan, and Cassandra surround me in the war room, Zevran seems to be lurking in the shadowed corner of the room.

 

“We must discuss the matter of approaching the rebel mages, or the templars.” Leliana says.

 

“We’re not ready to approach, but it would be wise, to discuss it at the very least.” I answer, causing Declan to stiffen at my side, then look over at me, the fear evident in his eye. “I understand.” I place a hand on his shoulder, then look at them. “Declan’s manifested magic,” My announcement causes shock.

 

“Solas has been teaching me to control it, and training me as well.” Declan explains, causing the advisors to calm some.

 

“The fear in your expression was evident.” Cassandra chirps, causing Declan’s face to flush a bit red. “I understand that you have fears, but the inquisition would not allow the templars to harm mages, especially the Herald’s brother.”

 

“Alright,” Declan nods, then shoots me a reassuring smile, as if  _ I _ am the one that was worried.

 

“So, let the war meeting start.”

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Liz Trevelyan belongs to Hypermuffin, and she's given me permission to include Liz into this story. She's an amazing writer, and I love her stories. Check her out- http://archiveofourown.org/users/Hypermuffins/pseuds/Hypermuffins


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A rift opens up outside of Haven, bringing a surprise for both Declan and Kaleigh.

_ ~Chapter Fourteen~ _

 

Sitting in the tavern, nursing a flagon of water, Delcan sits across from me, Fenris, and Varric sit on either side of the table, Liz sits not far from us, alone, drinking some water as well. Declan, Fenris, and Varric as playing a friendly, no betting, game of Wicked Grace, and I am just watching, on occasion I can see Fenris’ eyes flicker over to me, mostly when I feel like I’m about to fall over from exhaustion. We’d just gotten back from the Storm Coast, today, to deal with the rifts there, collecting the power to strengthen the mark on my hand, it had been Varric, Declan, Solas, Bull, and Fenris, because of the fact that there is a dragon that’s been lurking around the rifts. Solas being our only  _ trained _ mage, he accompanied for healing and training Declan, Fenris came because he helped fight the High Dragon in the Bone Pit in Kirkwall, Varric came along because other than myself, he’s our only rogue, and hello, like I was going to leave out  _ Bull _ when it came it killing a  _ dragon _ ? Cassandra would’ve came along, but she had decided that we had enough people, and she wanted to work with the chantry sisters on something.

 

“Kaleigh,” Fenris finally speaks up, looking over at me. “perhaps you-” The tavern door slams open with a frantic scout bursting in.

 

“Milady Herald! A rift opened on the outreaches of Haven!” He cries, Declan and I exchange looks, before I burst to my feet, chair clattering across the ground as I snatch up my bow from beside the door, and beat feet towards the outreaches of Haven, behind me I can hear Cullen barking orders to others, his footsteps rushing behind me as I throw open the gates, and grab Thindrol’s from where a servant was bringing him, slinging myself onto his back. I’m only five minutes out when Declan appears beside me on his own horse, he looks at me as I focus on staying awake, not sliding off the saddle.

 

“ This didn’t happen in the game! ” He shouts over the wind and the sound of the horses’ hooves.

 

“ No, it didn’t! The last time that something happened that was in the game, was Liz, and before that, it was you! ” I shout back, causing Declan and I exchange another worried look, before pressing on faster. I hope off of Thindrol’s back as soon as we arrive at the rift, demons pour out of the rift as I notice a crumpled figure directly under it, causing me to lift my bow from my back, shooting each demon down as Declan interchanges between freezing the demons, or setting them on fire, and swinging at them with his two handed sword. Solas, Fenris, Bull, Krem, Cassandra, Varric and Zevran all arrive as more demons pour out, they are easily dispatched with all of us here, Cullen and a few soldiers joining in as well, and when all of the demons are dealt with, I focus up the rift, the mark connects with the rift. Like each time in the past, the rift reacts, snatching my breath from my chest, the rift ripples attempting to force itself open, when I press harder, my lungs scream a bit, it feels as if my flesh is being torn from my bone layer by layer. My heart hammers in my chest, but the rift liquefies, the wavers, then snaps shut, causing me to let out a ragged gasp as I stumble backwards, my knees give out as an arm captures m around the waist, keeping me upright as my hand clings to a warm tunic.

 

“Kaleigh, are you alright?” A familiar, wise voice murmurs in my ear, causing me to realize that it’s Solas. Pressing myself to my feet, I feel exhaustion roll over me or a minute, pressing my unmarked hand to my forehead.

 

“I’m fine.” I answer, shaking my head sharply.

 

“Kaleigh!” My head snaps over to see Declan kneeling beside the figure, the figure’s head is in his lap. “It-It’s Kathleen!” My feet fly out from under me as I burst forward, crossing the gape in a next to impossible speed, dropping to my knees to slide up beside my brother, and our youngest sister. She’s dressed in a winter coat, blue jeans, a scarf and boots, a bag sits a few feet from us, a few of  Kathleen’s belongs sprawled across the ground as I reach out, cradling our sister against my chest.

 

“Herald?” Cassandra speaks up, stepping towards us as I lift myself from the ground, Kathleen in my arms, always small for being her age. “Herald, you know this person.”

 

“She’s our sister.” Declan answers, causing surprise to run through our small group as I cross to Thindrol’s side, slipping Kathleen onto his back, before climbing on behind her, and stirring his reins, making him start a slow canter towards Haven, my arms holding Kathleen up before me. I know that the others will have questions, but I want to make sure Kathleen is completely unharmed before anything else. She’s the youngest, and had been my favorite of our sisters, because she also has a twin brother, Oisin, so she knows the struggle of having to share everything including her room. Declan is beside me ten minutes later, in the stables, as I dismount, reaching up to carefully pull Kathleen down from Thindrol’s back, and he follows silently as we start toward Adan’s cabin. The door in open, Liz is working over a soldier as she looks up with Adan, who looks a bit annoyed as I deposit my sister on a clean cot, and sit on the floor beside it as Adan comes to check her over, I notice Declan had placed her bag down beside me before he left to sleep.

 

Hours seem to pass, fading in and out of consciousness with my head resting on my arms, on the side of cot, every shift in Kathleen’s sleep startles me into wakefulness, and after looking up at her, seeing she’s asleep, I manage to watch her for a while before fading back to sleep. The last time it happened, I managed to fall asleep for a few more minutes, when something pokes my cheek, I swat it away only for it to continue, causing me to let out a yawn, lifting my head to blink the sleep away, and seeing a friendly, gap-toothed smile shot at me, my eyes widen. “ Katie !” I cry out as tears well in her eyes, and she throws herself into my arms, hugging me tight, her short red curls fluttering widely every which way.

 

“ Oh, sissy! Am I in heaven? ” She asks, causing me to let out a tearful laugh, holding her tight.

 

“ No, sweetie. Gosh, you’re so big! Fourteen! ” I murmur, tucking her head under my chin, and she pulls back to stick her tongue out at me, before looking around.

 

“ So, where are we? ” She finally asks, causing me to chuckle, standing as I reach out to grab her bag, setting it on her lap.

 

“ That’s hard to explain. Let's just say… you’re in for a surprise. ” I state as I hold out my hand, she takes it as she climbs off the cot, and I tuck her into my side, the two of us starting towards the door, she shudders against the frosty wind, her eyes clenched shut against the early morning light.

 

“ Katie! ” Declan calls, rushing forward to sweep our sister up into his arms, spinning around as Katie laughs, cuddling into his arms like she’s still four years old. “ Gosh, Katie, I’ve missed you! ”

 

“ Deci, where’ve you been? ” Katie demands as he sets her down, her hands perched on her hips, a scowl on her face.

 

“ Kaleigh didn’t explain? ” Declan looks up at me with an accusatory glare, and I shrug.

 

“ I thought she’d enjoy the surprise. ” I explain, causing him to frown, shaking his head.

 

“ Katie, we’re in- ”

 

“ **Holy moley!** ” Kathleen points at Solas. “ It’s the Dreadwolf! ” At her scream, Solas looks down at her, before looking over at me, and I let out a nervous laugh.

 

“Would you mind?” I ask, gesturing to Katie, causing Solas to sigh, shaking his head as he crosses over to us, and he places his hand on Katie’s head, thumb pressed to her forehead. Watching as the color blue surrounds Katie, starting at her head, ending at her feet as Solas steps back, and Katie opens her green eyes, the blue circles her irises, before sinking into her pupils, just like it had with Declan.

 

“Was it like that with me?” Declan asks in wonder.

 

“Yeah.” I answer as Solas looks at Katie in expectation, and she glances up at him, the finger pressed to her lip in confusion points at him.

 

“Do you like my sissy? She used to sleep with a picture of you under her pillow.” She asks, causing my eyes to widen, and I smack my hands over Katie’s mouth, her next words coming out muffled as Declan stares at her in surprise, while I feel my cheeks flood with heat. Solas looks up at me with a raised eyebrow, a smirk twitching on his lips as I look over at Declan, shoving Katie into his arms, she happily goes with him as he stirs her away.

 

“So, that’s the fabled sister from last night.”

 

“Don’t remind me.” I smile wistfully. “She was four when I left.” I shake my head, looking over at the elf. “It’s hard to believe. I keep forgetting it’s been ten years for them.”

 

“How long for you?” Solas inquires.

 

“Seven.” He looks taken aback by my answer.

 

“Really?”

 

“Yeah.” I bite my bottom lip, looking at the ring on my finger, taking a deep breath as I slide the ring from my finger, pinching it between my thumb and index finger.

 

“Who was he?” I look up at Solas’s question.

 

“Who was who?” I state, slipping the ring onto my ring finger once more.

 

“The one who gave you that.”

 

“Nobody.”

 

“You must care for him deeply.”

 

“Yeah, but it turns out he didn’t reciprocate.”

 

“What makes you say that?” His hazel eyes are firmly locked onto my own, but I turn away, walking off as I start toward the Chantry, leaving Solas confused behind me. Catching up with Katie and Declan, I swoop in, scooping up Katie in a hug, causing her to giggle, hugging me back just as tight. _Reminding me that we’re together, again._

__


	16. Chapter 16

_~Chapter Fifteen~_

 

Shuffling Katie towards the door to the Tavern, Declan pouts as he follows behind us, grumbling about how I was hogging Katie all to myself, to which my only response was to hug Katie tighter, and sticking my tongue out at him. “I’m too young to drink.” Katie points out.

 

“Not here, besides, we’re getting you food and water.” I answer, causing Katie to let out a reluctant sigh, the look on her face is one of consternation, causing me to wrap my arm around her shoulder, hugging her tight. “It’s fine. The nimrods are only in the tavern at night.” I push the door open to see Sera charging Bull, a pie in her hand, causing me to step up, shoving the elf stumbling back to sprawl across the floor, the pie landing in her own face, which in turn causes Bull to start roaring in laughter, before I turn my head to glare at him.

 

“Geez, boss, if looks could kill.” Bull rumbles, before his eyes trail over to the door, and stop at Katie standing there beside Declan, his eyes widening. “A third one. Where do you all keep coming from?”

 

“What?” I look over to see Katie hesitantly smiling while waving, before I step forward to grab her by the wrist, dragging her forward. “This is Kathleen, we call her Katie, this is my kid sister.” I introduce as I drop her hand,causing her to take a step closer to me, an air of alarm raising off of her.

 

“Kid’s right. She’s barely older than Krem.” I blink, looking over at Katie, before tilting my head at Bull.

 

“How old _is_ Krem?” I inquire, causing the young man in question to appear behind Bull, smirking at me.

 

“I heard my name.” He says, before glancing over at Katie. “Another one, Songbird?”

 

“You guys say that like all eleven of us are here.” Katie points out, her green eyes are narrowed at Krem, and she cocks her hip as she crosses her arms over her chest. “What is it? Gotta a problem with gingers?” Krem just smirks as I shake my head, looking at my sister.

 

“When did you develop an attitude?” I tease, causing her to glare up at me.

 

“Don’t antagonize me.” She states, before looking back at Krem. “Well? If you gotta problem just say so.”

 

“Katie, chill out.” Declan finally steps in, resting his hand on Katie’s shoulder, and she slumps down with a sigh.

 

“Sorry.” She grumbles. “I’m just _starving_.”

 

“Understandable, growing kids need to eat.” Bull says, causing Katie to glare at him, pointing a finger in his face.

 

“I’m _not_ a kid! I’m 14!” Katie growls, causing Bull to actually look taken aback, before looking at me with a look that only can translate to _Is this kid for real?_ causing me to let out a laugh, shrugging as Krem smiles at Katie.

 

“Come on, let’s get you something to eat.” He says, holding a hand out to her, she looks at it, before looking up at the warrior, and I watch as Katie takes his hand, following after him with a surprising willingness.

 

“Did that just happen?” Bull asks.

 

“You’re the spy, you tell me.” I answer, Declan moves to follow when I grab his arm, causing him to look back at me, his dreads swinging as I shake my head.

 

“But-”

 

“No.” I cut off his protest.

 

“But, they-”

 

“ _No_.” I hiss, causing his face to fall, before he walks out with a look of annoyance, and I look up at Bull. “Don’t you start either.”

 

“Hey, he’s _Aclassi_ guy.” Bull chuckles as I roll my eyes. “No, but they’re gonna be good friends. They’re both young.”

 

“You didn’t answer my question.”

 

“Krem’s 16.” He answers, causing me to smile, before I notice he’s looking towards the door, causing me to roll my eyes again, shoving him towards it.

 

“Go after him.” I shake my head. “I swear everyone’s getting someone lately, save for me.”

 

“I wouldn’t be so sure, boss. You got Solas, Cullen, and your little bodyguards, the ex-crow, and the lyrium branded elf.”

 

“Zevran and Fenris?” I raise an eyebrow at him. “Don’t be so ridiculous.” With that, I shove him towards the door, and find Zevran observing from across the tavern, while Sera glares at me from her spot on the table beside the door. I had sent Declan and Cassandra to pick up Sera and Vivienne, not being able to when I was sick, and they had just arrived a few days ago. “Sorry, Sera, I didn’t want you to make my sister panic.”

 

“Ah, itzokay, Herald. The big pusbucket was just ticking me off, so I thought I’d give’m the whatfor the jennyway.” I find myself smirking despite myself, causing her to let out a braying laugh, point at me. “I thought that’d get a grin on that surly face!”

 

“Thanks, Sera.” I shake my head, letting out a light laugh as I look over to see Krem and Katie talking as they eat some stew, and I let out a sigh, stretching my arms above my head as I walk outside, my back snapping and popping up along my spine. I vaguely register Zevran following as I start towards the training area, sticking to the shadows as I unsheathe my daggers, stepping up to one of the dummies to start swinging at it. Bounding back on the balls of my feet, I turn to where Zevran is watching, and crook my finger at him, causing the ex-crow to step forward, tiling his head at me as I throw my daggers to the side, shedding my vest and dagger belt.

 

“What are you doing, _mi pequeña flor_?” Zevran inquires, causing me bite back a snarl at the nickname, bringing my fists up to slip into a fighting stance.

 

“Daggers aren’t helping. Spar with me.” I demand, causing him to chuckle, pushing back his hood before he sheds the top layer of his cloak, leaving him in a simple black tunic, his dagger belt follows as he brings his fists up, the two of us circling each other before he lashes out, I watch him step open, blocking his fist against my forearm, shoving it back as I duck the next lash, landing a firm strike in her sternum, causing him to stumble as I step back, waiting for him to shake off the strike, and lash out once more. Stalking towards each other, he swings a fist out, which I attempt to dodge, managing to get him to land it on my arm rather than my chest, while he goes to move back, I grab his arms twisting them behind his back, and spin him around, one knee placed into his back as he struggles against my hold. Managing to slip away to turn back to me, charging at me only to flounder in surprise as I bring my leg up in a roundhouse kick, landing it square in the jaw, sending him sprawling to the ground. “I said _spar_ , not let me _win_.” I hiss as he sits up, wiping blood from his lip as he chuckles.

 

“Alright, _mi pequeña flor_ .” He chuckles, swiping his thumb against the corner of his mouth to wipe the remaining blood away. Standing once more, he centers himself, bringing his fists up as he takes a swing at me, feigning a hit from the left, which I catch it time to block his other hit, my leg shoots out to do a leg sweep, which he jumps over, using the position that I am rising in, to wrap me in a chokehold. Leaning forward so that he’s leaning down to keep his hold on me, I jump up, causing him to stumble backwards, my arms wrapping around his shoulders as I drive my legs into his stomach, making him drop his hold, falling to the ground as I brace myself for impact with the ground, rolling to my feet in a frontways somersault. Turning around as Zevran continues to kneel on the ground, huffing for breath as I have my fists brought up, shaking a ginger curl from my face as I take deep breathes. “Yield! I yield.” Zevran gasps out as he struggles to his feet, and I narrow my eyes at him, dropping my hands as he grimaces. “You do know, _mi pequeña flor_ , that sparring doesn’t always require inflicting pain upon others?”

 

“Think about that, next time up put me in a chokehold.” I retort sharply, before I realize that we have a small audience of some of the soldiers, Cullen, Varric, and Fenris, all staring in shock as I grab my vest from the snow, brushing the mush from the leather, and shrug it on, before I replace my dagger belt as well. “Also, drop the dumb nickname.”

 

“Why? You are _mi pequeña flor_!” Zevran protests, causing me to stalk over to him, striking him upside the head.

 

“I’m not a flower!” I growl. “And I am certainly not small! You elves are just too tall.” I cross my arms over my chest, huffing as Zevran chuckles, wrapping his cloak around his shoulders, drawing on the hood.

 

“ _Mi pequeña flor_ , almost everyone is taller than you.” Zevran teases, causing me to glare up at him, though I imagine my whole whopping 5 feet 3 inches isn’t very intimidating compared to his nearly 6 feet stature.

 

“Yeah? Well, I’d like to formally file a complaint with whatever or whoever decided that I’m cursed with this short stature for the rest of my existence!” I’m suddenly picked up from behind in a crushing hug.

 

“Who knew that the Herald of Andraste would be so cute?!” A loud, rumbling voice, booms as the person hugging me rocks me like a rag doll.

 

“W-Who the hell are you?!” I scream, swinging my leg back to slam it into the person’s kibble and bits, causing them to drop me as they fall to the ground, groaning in agony as I land on my feet, whirling around to see an unfamiliar gray skinned qunari with stubby horns on either side of his head of snow white hair. “What the fuck?!”

 

“Language, _mi pequeña flor_.” Zevran teases as Fenris and Cullen both come over, my best elven friend gently pushes me behind him, his hand in contact with the fabric on my stomach, as if to make sure I’ll be fine, while Cullen lugs the qunari up, I can see bright yellow eyeshadow around his eyes, and bright pink blush on his cheeks.

 

“Sorry, Miss.” He says, before giving me a self-deprecating smile. “Good shot though.” He manages to groan out as I stare at the qunari who looks up at me with apologetic green eyes. “You’re just so cute!”

 

“Bad idea, calling Gizmo cute. She hates it.” Varric chimes in, stepping forward to wave Cullen away, kneeling down to hold his hand out to the qunari. “I’m Varric Tethras.” The Qunari takes Varric’s hand shaking it as Fenris looks at me, and I nod, causing him to walk off.

 

“Sol’Torok Adaar. People call me Sol.” I blink in surprise as I kneel down, offering my hand.

 

“I’m Kaleigh. Sorry, you took me by surprise, I didn’t mean to smash your… bits and bobs.” I let out a laugh as the qunari cocks his head at me, before smiling as he takes his hand in my own.

 

“All is forgiven.” He grins, before the three of us stand, and I can see Zevran hesitate behind us, before I shoot him a pointed look, and he holds up his hands, twirling around on one foot to wander off. “Sorry about hugging you suddenly, it’s just… I didn’t expect you to be so small, and cute!” I grimace.

 

“Yeah, I’m more likely to stab you, then hug you.”

 

“Trying to be intimidating doesn’t help, Gizmo.”

 

“Shut up.” I grumble, crossing my arms in a pout.

 

“Aw! So _cute!_ ” Sol coos, causing me to grimace, turning on my heels with a firm stamp on the ground, and walk away, leaving the two of them to laugh behind me.

 

 

* * *

 

“Wait, so you sent us to recruit Vivienne and Sera, and it didn’t occur to you to have us pick up Blackwall?” Declan says as he, Liz, Katie, and I sit in my cabin, not even three days later.

 

“It’s not on purpose, but think about it this way. We’ve cleared the area, so I can take Katie, and give her some on field experience.” I shake my head. “ _Besides_ , Leliana **just** brought Blackwall up in the meeting today.”

 

“On field experience? You mean witnessing _death_ first hand!” Katie protests, causing me to sigh.

 

“Katie, we’re at _war_ . Declan and I will **not** leave you defenceless.” I state, looking at the youngest ginger perched on my bed with my straw pillow in her arms, Liz is silent beside her, leaning against the wall, that my bed is against, her feet perched on the trunk at the foot of my bed, that houses more leathers for me to wear, her staff in her hands as well.

 

“You know, you didn’t bother to check if she’s got magic or not.” Liz points out.

 

“Can’t you tell?” Declan asks, causing Liz to look between Katie and myself, before clambering to her feet, and bounding out of the cabin, the door swings shut with a loud clack, leaving me to look pointedly at Declan, who raises an eyebrow at me.

 

“Come on, Katie. Declan needs to go train his sword arm, and I’m taking you to see Solas.” I state, shuffling to my feet as Katie stands on my bed, stumbling across the mattress to drop onto the floor. She’s in a red tunic and black trousers, a red scarf is draped over her hip in a makeshift skirt, black boots, and her goggles dangle around her neck, an addition of the modern world that she’s insisted on having. The black and red are a Katie thing, she says she identifies with it. Declan follows the two of us as we exit the cabin, as he goes towards the training ground, Katie and I start towards Solas’s cabin, where he is currently conversing with Sol, the qunari clings to his every word as Solas’s sights land on me, and he smiles as he gestures to me. “I’ll make this short, sweet, and to the point,” I state, stepping forward as Solas rolls his eyes, smirking at me. “is Katie a mage?” At my words, Solas’s brow crumples, and he looks at my younger sister, studying her for a minute, circling her for a minute.

 

“Yes.” Solas answers as he stops before my sister and I. “But, not as one may think. Her magic’s older, different.” He smiles. “It’s called _Isenatha_.” He pats my sister on the hand, and I look over at him.

 

“ _Isenatha?_ ” I tilt my head at him.

 

“It means Dragon. Her magic only reacts to Dragons, other than that, she’s perfectly normal. I suggest pairing her with a one handed sword, training her as well, and if you come into contact with a dragon, her magic will help.” Solas states, I notice that Sol is staring at him in awe as he speaks.

 

“Wow, so the Herald is special, as well as her siblings!” Sol says in awe, causing me to smile.

 

“Yeah, well that makes sense. I guess.” I mutter, before I turn towards the Tavern, my stomach growling in hunger as I notice Katie bounding after me, she ducks her head under my arm, smiling up at me as I feel a smile spread across my lips against my urge. “Hungry, Kiddo?”

 

“Starving.” She answers.

 

“Lunch in the tavern?” She nods as I press open the door, the sound of cheerful laughter and music fills the air, the smell of meat and cooked vegetables swirls in a mixture of sweat and bile, but we sit at an empty table nearest to the bar, where Flissa hurries to place two bowls of stew before us, along with two flagons of water, before scurrying away as I scoot Katie’s bowl to me, taking the meat from her bowl in exchange for my vegetables.

 

“Katie. Your worship.” I look up at Krem sits down, placing his bowl down as he smiles at us.

 

“Hey Krem.”

 

“Hi, Krem!” Katie chirps, smiling at him as I push Katie’s bowl back, and start on my food as Katie and Krem start to chatter, leaving me to observe them quietly. They leave once they’re finished eating, going off to train together while I get another bowl of stew, picking the meat out of it once it’s before me, and Flissa shoots me a smile before leaving me be.


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here comes Cole!

_~Chapter Sixteen~_

 

The templars, I had decided that if I carried this burden of choosing any longer, by myself, I’d scream, and that is anyone could make me feel normal, it’s be Cole. So, the mission to get the templars went exactly as I remembered, with some minor tweaks of Cole’s enchanting words capturing my attention more than I ever thought possible, and he seems to laugh at my thoughts on occassion. So, entering Haven with my arm slung over Declan’s shoulder, Solas, Sera, and Cassandra follow behind us, while Katie’s arm is around my waist, helping Declan carry my weight, my free hand is pressed against my opposite shoulder, blood leaking from between my fingers as we make our way into the village limits, drawing attention right away. “We need to get you to Adan.” Declan murmurs.

 

“I’m fine!” I snap, attempting to shrug off his and Katie’s worried hands, but they grab me almost as soon as I escape their hold, jostling and struggling to get me towards Adan’s cabin, humiliation settling into my stomach as everyone stares, and I notice that Cullen starts towards us before Declan pulls Katie and I into the alchemist cabin, the door swings shut as Adan turns to us, gesturing to a cot, where Declan drops me, before he tugs my vest off despite my protests, and Adan walks over with a warm rag, and starts to wash my wound. Part of me is grateful, that Declan explained the importance of clean utensils and wounds, when Adan works on spreading a healing salve over the cut, bandaging it as a knock comes on the door, and Katie helps me shuffle on my shirt as Declan stands to answer the door.

 

“Is the Herald alright?” I stiffen at Cullen’s voice. “What did she do now?”

 

“She decided to wrestle the Envy Demon, and proceeded to _forget_ to mention being injured until we were approaching Haven.” Declan explains as I press off the cot, Katie following diligently at my side.

 

“I’m _fine_.” I insist as I press Declan away from the door, seeing Cullen’s firm gaze fall on me, softening as he smiles.

 

“You faced an Envy Demon, wrestled it to the ground, and you’re alive.” He lets out a relieved sigh, before stiffening as his face erupts with a blush, and he rubs his neck. “Right, Leliana’s called the war council. Can I- escort you to the… war room?” He offers his arm, blushing harder as Katie giggles, and buries her face in my back, careful of my wound.

 

“Yes, please.” I take his arm, brushing Katie away as Cullen smiles at me, the two of us starting towards the War Room, I look behind me to see Katie rush Krem from behind as soon as she spots him talking with Bull, the young man chuckles as he catches her in his arms, spinning around to hug her while continuing to speak with Bull. Glancing over at the cabin, I can see Declan smirking at me as he also makes his way over to Bull, causing me to roll my eyes as I turn back to look at the path.

 

“Are you sure you’re alright?” Cullen asks, causing me to sigh, pressing my lips into a firm line, thinking about responding when my name is called by a familiar qunari prancing over.

 

“Kaleigh!” Sol shouts, her yellow eyeshadow is replaced with a gentler color, pink blush blended more, deep red paints her lips now, and her snow white locks are curled around one shoulder. “Kaleigh, you cutie!” Sol crushes me into a hug a soon as she gets to my side, hands holding me by the small of my back, instead of my shoulders, meaning she knows of my wound.

 

“Sol… can’t...breath!” I rasp, causing her to drop me, smooshing my cheeks to look me over.

 

“Are you alright?!” She asks, looking me in the eye.

 

“I’m fine! It’s just a scratch, I swear!” I duck out of her grasp, turning to look at the two of them. “You’re both so fucking annoying right now!” They both have the decency to look ashamed. “I’m fine. You forget that I’m not a weakling, that this is _not_ my first injury.”

 

“We’re just worried about you.” Sol says.

 

“Well, don’t be. I’m fine!” I shake my head as Cullen frowns.

 

“We’re not going to stop worrying about you, because we care about you.” Cullen states causing me to freeze, letting out a sigh as I shake my head.

 

“You’re right. I’m sorry. But, seriously- I’m fine.” I start towards the chantry, leaving the two of them to exchange looks, before Cullen hurries after me, the two of us entering the war room.

* * *

 

“You disbanded the Templar Order on the Inquisition’s authority.” Cullen looks at me as I lean against the table, nodding.

 

“You did not see what they had done, Commander.” Cassandra answers as I press my fingers against the map, brushing a curl from my eyes.

 

“You and the Herald fought bravely, but that decision should have been the Inquisition’s. Not yours alone.” Cullen reasons, and I look up at him, quirking my lips.

 

“I thought you trusted me, Cullen.” At my words, his face turns pink, and he rubs his neck.

 

“I d- it’s not a matter of trust.” He states, shaking his head as I slam my fist on the table, glaring up at him.

 

“It’s all a matter of trust!” I roar, causing them all to stare at me as I let out a growl, racking my fingers through my hair, and step back from the table. “The Order was in chaos. We had to shape it going forward, or risk losing it entirely. I wish you guys would trust me, after all that I’ve done for you guys.”

 

“I would have preferred willing allies, but the Order put their trust in our Herald. Surely, that is what we wanted.” Josephine says as I press my hand to my forehead.

 

“A few dozen veterans are coming ahead of the rest, to help seal the Breach.” Leliana points out, causing me to nod.

 

“How soon until these veterans arrive?” Cullen inquires as smoke fills the room, and a familiar blonde is sitting in the middle of the table, looking at the figurine in his hand, everyone else startles on his sudden appearance.

 

“They’re almost here,” Cole looks up. “Templars don’t like being late.” His voice is deep, a thrill runs down my spine as I smile.

 

“Hello Cole.” He looks over at me, blinking in surprise.

 

“Maker!” Cullen rounds the table, himself and Cassandra unsheathing their swords, pointing them at the young man on the table.

 

“Wait!” I scream out, grabbing Cullen’s arm in worry that they’ll hurt Cole.

 

“I came with you to help. I would have told you before, but you were busy.” Cole answers, looking me in the eye as I smile at him, questions swim in his eyes.

 

“That’s fine Cole. You just startled us, appearing to us like that.” I explain softly, causing him to tilt his head at me.

 

“I wasn’t air. I was here the whole time. You didn’t see me, most people don’t until I let them.” Cole answers, smiling at me.

 

“Call the guards. This creature is not what you-” Cullen starts to order.

 

“A moment please, Cassandra. I would like to hear why he came.” Leliana stops him as I raise a hand to silence _everyone_.

 

“You help people. You made them safe, when they would have died.” Cole looks at me, his face is completely serious. “I want to do that. I can _help_.” He explains.

 

“Cole saved my life in Therinfal. I couldn’t have defeated Envy without him.” I explain, causing the others to fall silent before they can protest. “He’s stays, whether you like it or not.”

 

“But, what does he want _now_?” Cassandra inquires, insistent on a truthful answer.

 

“He’s trying to help, honestly.” I state, causing the others to look at me. “He’s not like you think, he’s not a demon, or whatever.”

 

“I won’t be in the way. Tiny, no trouble, no notice taken, unless you want them to.” Cole says, softly as he crawls off the table.

 

“You’re not honestly suggesting we give him run of the camp!” Cullen sound aghast, directing the demand at me.

 

“That’s exactly what I’m saying.” I answer, Cole disappears, though only I notice.

 

“Not free perhaps, but it seems a waste to- _hold on!_ ” Josephine pauses, looking around in confusion as she takes notice.

 

“Where did he go?” Cassandra asks, looking around now as the others do.

 

“He’s around here somewhere.” I answer vaguely, knowing that he’s more than likely off to find someone who needs help. “We’ll find him.”

 

“Yes.” Leliana smiles. “We must make sure of that.” She smirks at me, eyes bright in curiosity. “I’ll have people watch the boy, but let’s not be distracted from the Breach.” She says, causing me to nod, leaning over the table to glance at the map once again, waiting for the meeting to finish. Leaving the room, Cole immediately appears beside me, and I pause as he looks at me with his tilted head.

 

“Yes, little brother?” I inquire, the title causes interest to spark in his eyes, and he smiles at me.

 

“ _Humming, hoping, helping. Hands reaching hands reaching out, helping helpers healing._ ” He whispers, causing me to smile at him.

 

“You’ve met Liz?” I ask.

 

“ _Knowing her from before, when she knew me before I was me._ ” I pat Cole on the shoulder.

 

“You’re going to meet a few people like that, here.” I state, causing him to tilt his head at me. “Just go with it, eh Coley?”

 

“C-Coley?”

 

“Hehe!” I hug him, before he starts towards the training grounds, and I hum in thought, turning as Cassandra pats my shoulder.

 

“You did well, Herald.” Cassandra says, causing me to grimace.

 

“I suppose asking you to call me by my name is too much?” I finally ask, causing her to frown.

 

“Does it bother you so much?” She asks, causing me to lean against the door to cross my arms, and look up at her in silence. “I suppose not, Kaleigh.”

 

“Hey, I’m craving something from my realm. Point me to the kitchen?” I ask, causing her to blink, before nodding as she leads me back into the tavern, down the stairs towards the dungeon area, but she surprises me when she opens an unfamiliar heavy wooden door to the left, just before the dungeon, and leads me down another set of stairs. Inside is a large stone kitchen with a roaring fire, a larder, drying racks, herbs and vegetables, the entire kitchen smells and reminds me of home. “Wow.” I hum as two servants appear before us, two elves, one is older with gray hair, wrinkled pink skin, and wise blue eyes that match the vallaslin on her face. The other is young, green eyes with green vallaslin, smooth tanned skin, and black locks.

 

“These are the Kitchen staff. Lady Lanani Lavellan and her granddaughter, Isene Lavellan.” Cassandra gestures to them, before patting me on the back. “Ladies, the Herald of Andraste, Kaleigh.” With that, Cassandra turns on her heels, and walks out as I look at them, the women gaping as I nod to them.

 

“You are both from clan Lavellan?” I ask, attempting to make conversation.

 

“Yes, my lady.” Isene answers as her grandmother turns on her heels, walking over to a table to start cutting up vegetables.

 

“I’m sorry, have I… insulted?” I ask, looking after her grandmother.

 

“No, grandmother is just a worrier. She was unaware that you were so young.” Isene says as I smile.

 

“I’m old enough. Anyway, I’ve come to borrow the kitchen.” I smile at her.

 

“Yes, my lady!” Isene nods, gesturing around. “Feel free to use whatever you find.” She smiles at me.

 

“It’s just Kaleigh, or you can call me Kay.” I offer, causing her to mouth to fall open, floundering for a moment before she smiles at me.

 

“Alright, Kay.” With that, she walks over to another table, and starts cutting vegetables as well as I walk over to the larder, pulling out the necessary things I need for the meal, before walking over to a table closest to the stove. Preparing chocolate chip cinnamon rolls, I shove them into the oven to bake, then I start cooking my warm ham and cheese sandwich, the smell causes my stomach to growl. Plating two sandwiches onto a tray, covering them with as I start on a homemade tomato and cheese soup, plating that as soon as it’s done as well, I pull the chocolate chip cinnamon rolls from the oven, placing them to cool as I pull my hair up in a bun, and start to scrub the dishes that I use. Plating four cinnamon rolls as soon as I’m done, I’m glad that everything is warm as I cover them, leaving the two Lavellans’ staring at me as I skirt out of the kitchen, letting the door fall shut behind me as I walk up to the main level of the Chantry.

 

“Mmm, do I smell Chocolate Chip cinnamon rolls?” I duck until a hand that starts to reach for the cover, glaring over at Declan as he beams at me. “I want one.”

 

“There’s more in the kitchen.” I state, and he pouts at me as I start towards the door.

 

“Where are you going?” Declan follows me.

 

“I yelled at Cullen today,” I lift the tray. “this is my apology.” I state causing him to blink at me, cracking a smile. “Don’t start.”

 

“You used to bake for someone else, remember?” Declan taunts as he circles around me.

 

“I said, _don’t_.” I state, narrowing my eyes at him as I start towards the training ground.

 

“Didn’t you used to bake for Michael? And before that, you cooked for Johnny, and then for Max.” Declan teases as I flip him off, and snort in laughter as he stumbles over his feet, falling to the ground as he gapes at me. I kick snow over his face, before starting into the soldier’s encampment, walking over to Cullen, who is signing something as I clear my throat, causing him to turn looking at me in surprise.

 

“Got a minute?” I ask, causing his brow to furrow before his eyes fall to the tray in my hands. “I wanted to apologize. So, I made lunch.” He looks me in the eyes, before handing the parchment and pen over to the waiting soldier, and he smiles at me.

 

“I wanted to apologize as well.” He says, gesturing for me to walk away from the sparring soldiers. “I did not mean to imply that I didn’t trust you. I really do.” He says as he reaches into a tent, and I realize that he’s pulling out a thick pelt blanket, before he spreads it across the snow a few feet away, I notice the four sides of the blankets have a heating rune carved into them. “I just do not feel that my trust in you should blind the various choices that we all make.”

 

“No, I understand, and I shouldn’t have yelled today,” I set the tray down, kneeling beside it to lift the cover off the plates, and his eyes widen at the small meal I’ve prepared. “I’m not used to having to make such decisions, it’s very hard, you know? It weighs on you.” He grabs my hand, causing me to look up at him.

 

“Remember, you’re not holding the weight of the world on your shoulders, alone. Everyone here, is _here_ to help you.” He reminds me, causing me to smile, before pulling two spoons out of my pockets, holding one out to him as I pick up a bowl of soup, and as he does I cover the food once more. “This is good.” He says as soon as he takes a bite.

 

“Tomato and cheese soup.” I explain as he gapes at me. “Something from my world.” He nods as he continues eating and once he’s finished his sandwich, he stares at the cooled cinnamon roll in his hand.

 

“What is it?” He asks, causing me to let out a laugh.

 

“It’s called a cinnamon roll, it’s my recipe, so it’s a chocolate chip cinnamon roll.” I explain lightly, causing him to smile at me, before he takes a bite as I watch. I watch as his face morphs to one of bliss, beaming as he hums in enjoyment, causing me to bounce a bit as I take a bite of my own cinnamon roll, and giggle as he continues to scarf down the cinnamon roll, then grabs another. “Careful, they might give you a stomach ache. Too much sweets will do that.”

 

“It’s just so good.” Cullen answers, licking the frosting from his fingers, causing me to duck my head as I blush, slowly standing as I brush down my blouse.

 

“I’m glad that you like them,” I bite my lip as I grab the tray and empty bowls, handing him the last one, and he looks up at me as he takes it. “I’ll take these back, um… enjoy your day.” I murmur, hurrying back towards the kitchen, leaving him behind, completely confused.


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The calm before the storm, the talk of love, and the talk of loss. We have one more chapter before I go on Hiatus for a while, so please enjoy! Voting is still happening- Fenris, Solas, or Cullen?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry to anyone that is insulted by this chapter, I'm trying my best to explain a train of thought of someone throughly confused. I'm NOT transphobic in anyway (I even have a friend who's currently saving for his surgery.), if you guys want me to, I will delete the conversations that Katie and her siblings have. Please, forgive me.

_~Chapter Seventeen~_

 

**_-Third person POV-_ **

 

Frigid wind bellows outside the balmy cabin, housing the three siblings, the one Trevelyan, and the young spirit-turned-man, the strange group seeming to be the closest out of the entire inner circle. Kaleigh leans against the wall at the head of her bed, her old pillow in her arms as Declan lounges on the chest at the foot of her bed, while Liz leans against the mantle of the fireplace, with Cole sitting right before the blazing flames, and Katie rests her back against the bed, sitting on the floor.

 

“Katie, just talk to him.” Declan says as our sister groans, raking her fingers through her short curls.

 

“Why are you even avoiding him?” Kaleigh asks.

 

“ _Churning, chaffing, chipping, and creasing. Whispering words reaching whims, pulling and pushing toward and away from each other. Wishing for each other, but confusion separating friends._ ” Cole murmurs, causing Kaleigh to glance down at Katie, who narrows her eyes at Cole.

 

“Why don’t you mind your own business?” Katie snaps, her green eyes narrowed menacingly. “I don’t go poking around in _your_ head, so stay out of mine!”

 

“Katie!” Kaleigh warns, causing the youngest ginger to let out a huff, falling on her side, to the floor, her cheek pressing to the warm wood.

 

“I don’t care if you’re avoiding the _King of Ferelden_ , don’t take your problems out on Cole.” Liz snarls, her brown eyes burning with flames of fury, and her staff swings around in her hand.

 

“I’m sorry.” Katie groans, causing Liz to let out a sigh.

 

“Who are you avoiding, anyway?” Liz’s inquire causes Katie to groan again, rolling under her older sister’s bed, causing Declan to let out a deep, rumbling chuckle, he sits up from leaning against the wall behind the chest.

 

“She’s avoiding Krem, Bull’s second in command.” Declan answers, causing Katie to groan from under the bed, causing Declan to chuckle again as Kaleigh crawls over to the side of the bed, looking over it to look at her sister.

 

“Why are you avoiding Krem, anyway?”

 

“Because he’s an aqun-athlok!” Katie cries, curling against the wall.

 

“So?” Liz counters, kneeling down to look at Katie as well.

 

“ _So_ , he’s technically a she, and I’m a her, that likes hims, but he’s a him, because he wants to be a him, so he is a him, so is it okay for me to like him if he’s a her, who is a him?”

 

"Listen, Katie, you’re only 14, you barely know about yourself, it's okay to be confused. If you're unsure, then maybe explain to Krem, what you're feeling, and explain that you don't want to lose your friendship, and if he's okay with it, maybe you can see if something will develope.” Declan explains, dropping down to observe his younger sister, who rolls over to look at him.

 

“When did you know? That you’re bi.” Katie asks, causing Declan to hum in thought, sitting up as he taps his finger against his lips, before grinning at Katie.

 

“I was about your age, to be honest.” Katie scoots out from under the bed, causing the other’s to return to their place.

 

“Really?” She asks, looking at her brother, who smiles as Kaleigh slips an arm around her sister’s shoulders, in a half hug.

 

“I thought I just liked guys, but then I learned that I _did_ like girls too. I just prefer guys.” Declan explains, causing Katie to tilt her head at him, then stumble to her feet, causing Kaleigh to look up.

 

“Where are you going?” Kaleigh asks.

 

“To talk to Krem.” Katie answers, before slipping out of the cabin, leaving the door clacking shut behind her, leaving everyone to stare after the smallest ginger girl, before Cole stands with Liz.

 

“I’m leaving too. I have to start in the clinic in a few minutes.” Liz says. “You coming along, Cole?” The blonde nods, following the small Trevelyan girl out of the cabin, leaving the twins behind.

 

“So, how’s it going with Bull?” Kaleigh asks after a few minutes of silence.

 

“We’re fine. He wears me out.” Declan answers.

 

“TMI.”

 

“I just meant, he’s always asking me if he minds inviting other people into the bed, or whatever.” Declan shakes his head. “The _only_ other person that I **want** to invite, won’t come, until we close the Breach.”

 

“Dorian.” Kaleigh nods, before Declan looks at her.

 

“How’s it going with your predicament?”

 

“Predicament?”

 

“Solas, Fenris, Zevran, and Cullen. You’ve always liked elves, and you’ve got three hounding you like a bitch in heat.” Declan points out.

 

“That’s not true. Solas is interested in the mark, and how coming from another realm would affect it. Zevran’s a hired bodyguard. Fenris, he’s… Fenris!” Kaleigh shakes her head.

 

“I notice that you left one out.” Declan teases, causing Kaleigh to groan, slamming her head on the wall behind her in annoyance.

 

“Cullen and Fenris are old acquaintances! Yeah, there was chemistry between Fenris and I, but I was _engaged_.” Kaleigh points out, causing Declan to chuckle.

 

“But, you’re _not_ now.” Declan states.

 

“Your point?”

 

“Kaleigh, you’re free to fall in love, again!” Declan points out, causing Kaleigh’s eyes to widen, her cheeks becoming inflamed.

 

“Maker’s bloody arsehole! You jump to such conclusions!” Kaleigh shouts, causing Declan to laugh as Kaleigh throws him an annoyed look, throwing her pillow at him as she stands, tugging her vest on.

 

“What about Cullen? You have touched on Fenris twice, the others once, but Cullen has be avoided.”

 

“I don’t know. Cullen was a templar, he was tormented. That’s all there is to say.” Kaleigh answers, causing Declan to raise an eyebrow at her.

 

“So, he’s _what_ , too tormented for you?”

 

“No. I’m broken, so why would I care if he’s tormented?”

 

“You’re not broken.”

 

“Whatever.” Kaleigh waves him off, ducking out the door, leaving her twin brother behind.

 

“Kaleigh, you’re not broken.”

 

**_-Kaleigh POV-_ **

 

Shuffling my feet across the crystal-lain ground, I let out a sigh as I lean my head back, studying the clear sky as I walk through Haven, my head swirling with muddled thoughts, and it’s only when swords clash above my head, that I snap back into attention, realizing that I walk right into the middle of the training field, causing me to let out a cry of surprise, ducking out of the way. Turning to watch the sparring recruits, who give me an apologetic smile, I wave to them as I step back, stumbling over the leg of a fallen recruit, turning in order to catch myself, I let out an undignified, unattractive squeak of surprise as someone snatches me up before I connect with the ground, a firm arm around my waist as they set me back on my feet. “Are you well?” My head snaps up at the sound of his voice, my eyes connecting with concern golden orbs.

 

“Cullen!” I practically shout in surprise, my face burning as I drop my gaze, letting out a nervous laugh. “I-I’m fine, I promise.” I realize that his arm is still around my waist, as he apparently does because he jumps back, rubbing the back of his neck as a blush encroaches his cheeks. “I- uh… H-How is it going, training the recruits?”

 

“It’s going well, I believe tha- **You there!** ” I jump at Cullen’s shout as he moves past me, pointing at recruits. “ **I don’t know how many times I’ve told you,** **_that’s a shield, block with it!_ ** ” He scolds, before turning back to me with a shy grin. “I believe that they will be ready, for whatever the Breach will throw at us.”

 

“One can only hope.” I mutter as he rests his hand on his sword pommel. “So, you don’t think that we’re doomed, doing this?”

 

“Doomed?” His brow furrows, then his eyes wide in realization. “You feel the pressure building, of the oncoming path we’re approaching.” He reaches out, resting his hand on my shoulder. “Don’t worry, you may feel the calm before the storm, but your brother, your sister, and everyone in the inquisition is here to shield you. We’re not going to let anything happen to you, that’s a promise.”

 

“It’s just… what if I fail? What if Declan, Katie, and I being here makes things worse?” Cullen frowns, grabbing my arm, and pulls me to the side.

 

“You know that I’m here for you. Your brother is known are your Guardian, and your sister is now becoming known as your Right Hand. Here, you are safe, and the Herald, but if you need an escape… I’m here for you.” Cullen smiles at me. “I’m Cullen, and you’re Kaleigh. We’ve known each other for years, so I know you are more than your title.”

 

“Cullen.” His name slips from my lips in a sound of awe, and his eyes brighten, before a blush spreads across his cheeks. “Thank you.” I murmur, smiling up at him, and he smiles at me. “What about you? I know that the recruits are doubling and tripling since we encountered the templars.”

 

“We’ve received a number of recruits,” Cullen says, crossing his arms as he steps up to watch the practice spars. “locals from Haven, and pilgrims, none made _quite_ the entrance you did.” He quirks as smirk at me as I step up beside him.

 

“What can I say? The limelight loves me.” I join in the joking, looking at the sparring pair across from me.

 

“That it does.” Cullen turns to look at me. “Cassandra and Leliana recruited me into the Inquisition, from Kirkwall, after the mage uprising that friends were a part of.” He walks towards the edge of the hill, to observe the recruits below. “I saw firsthand the devastation it caused.”

 

“Sir!” A recruit, with a clipboard and a quil in his hand, runs up, following after us.

 

“Cassandra sought a solution, when she offered me a position, I left the templars to join her cause.” Cullen takes the clipboard and quil, before coming to a stop at the top of the hill, signing his name across the parchment. “Now, it seems we face something far worse.”

 

“I have the mark for a reason, the least I can do is use it to help.” I sigh, looking down at my hand as Cullen frowns.

 

“Provided now that we have secured aid, as I was confident that we would. The Chantry lost control of both the Templars and Mages,” He hands another recruit the clipboard and quil. “we must make sure we do not. They still argue over a new Divine, while the Breach remains, the Inquisition can ask where the Chantry cannot.” Cullen sharply cuts his hand through the air, his hand coming to rest on his sword pommel once more. “Our followers will be a part of that, there is some much that we can… Forgive me, I know you didn’t come here for a lecture.”

 

“No, but, if you have one prepared, I’d love to hear it.” I answer, it comes out breathy and light, causing me to mentally facepalm as I realize that this conversation is from the game, and I flirted with him. I can’t bring myself to care, as Cullen starts to chuckle lightly, which becomes a full on laugh as he throws his head back, holding his stomach, a smile spread across his lips as I bite my lip, holding back a smile of my own.

 

“Another time, perhaps.” He laughs, calming down as I smile at him, he hums in thought, watching his recruits. “I, uh…” He lets out a sigh. “There is still a _lot_ of work to do.”

 

“Commander!” Another recruit walks up with a stack of papers, causing Cullen to gesture to it.

 

“As I was saying.” He steps over to the recruit, and I follow him.

 

“I suppose this will take you awhile.” Cullen nods as he takes the papers in his hands, and I rest a hand on his shoulder. “Just remember, take a few breaks, alright?”

 

“Of course.” Cullen nods, and I let out a hum, patting his back, and start towards the Chantry, starting down into the kitchen. Pressing the heavy door, it swings open as a wave of sweltering heat hits me, and Isene appears before me as her grandmother is standing over a table, elbow deep in flour and dough.

 

“Greetings, my lady.”

 

“Isene.”

 

“Right,” Isene smiles. “hello, Kaleigh!”

 

“Hello Isene, how are you two today?” Isene looks over her shoulder at her grandmother, then turns back to me.

 

“Grandmother has been pounding out dough all day, she’s planning on making bread for your next outing. Something about your sister doesn’t eat meat?” Isene inquires.

 

“Katie? She’ll eat it, but she prefers not to- she feels it’s animal cruelty, to eat meat.” I explain, causing Isene’s not to wrinkle as she lets out a laugh.

 

“Oh, right! You’re here to cook again, right?” She gestures to the kitchen. “Feel free!”

 

“Isene, please get back to work!” Lady Lanani calls, causing her granddaughter to jump, scurrying back to her table, and starts working on bread as well. Walking over to the larder, I start piling items into my arms, before walking over to my free table, and setting to work cooking. Placing two bowls of spicy chili on a tray, I place cornbread on the tray, and drop a few, still warm, brownies onto a plate, placing it on the tray, before I cover the tray, and start toward the main level of the Chantry, and outside, towards the training grounds to see Cullen is alternating between working on the papers, and shouting at the troops.

 

“Cullen,” He looks up at my voice, then frowns at the tray in my hands, opening his mouth to object, but I shush him. “no objections. You work too hard, and I slaved over a hot stove, in an unbearably hot room, to make this for you.”

 

“But I-”

 

“Cullen, _please_?” I bat my eyelashes at him, sticking my bottom lip out, and Cullen is still hesitating as he rubs his neck. “I made brownies.” I whimper, at that, his composure cracks as he hands the papers to a recruit, and gestures me towards our usual spot, for the last week. He throws down the fur pallet, lowering onto my knees, I place the tray between the two of us, providing two spoons from my apron.

 

“What did you make today?” Cullen inquires as I uncover the food.

 

“Spicy chili with cornbread. Brownies for dessert.” I explain as I hand him a bowl, sticking the cornbread into it, before grabbing my own as I cover the warm brownies, and start to spoon my chili, watching Cullen’s face as he takes a bite. His face morphs into one of surprise, then like he’s in bliss, then his face starts to turn a bit red, and he smiles up at me.

 

“Spicy is correct.” He chokes out, and I wince, but he clears his throat, smiling up at me. “But, it’s good, the spice adds heat, which helps against the cold.” He takes another bite, and I start to eat the chili as well before long, he’s eating the first of his two brownies, while I polish off the last of my chili.

 

“Do you like the brownies?” I finally ask, wiping my mouth as he looks up, chocolate and crumbs across the corner of his lips, causing me to let out a laugh. “You’ve got a…” I shake my head, reaching out to brush the crumbs and chocolate from his lips, causing his face to turn red as he sets down the brownie.

 

“Thank you.” He says, chuckling as I nod, starting to delicately eat my own, while he watches the troops. “I appreciate you doing this, this past week.”

 

“It’s alright. You’ve been busier since we recruited the templars, and I want you to be healthy. Besides, cooking and baking help me relax.” I explain. “I used to bake for…” I press my lips together, sighing. “Michael, my ex-fiancee. He loved the chocolate chip cinnamon rolls that I make.”

 

“Chocolate chip cinnamon rolls?” Cullen tilts his head at me. “Ah! The dessert from the first time, that was so good! Yes, they are addicting.”

 

“Perhaps I shall make them tomorrow, for our lunch. Onlyif you would like-”

 

“YES!” Cullen shouts, causing me to jump a bit, and he clears his throat, face red. “I mean, yes, I’d appreciate it. _Please_.” He urges, causing me to smile, and nod, brushing my leggings off.

 

“Good. Then, we’ll have them tomorrow. With pizza.” I smile at the thought of pizza again.

 

“Pizza?” Cullen inquires, causing me to look at around, before leaning into him, my hand cupping the side of my mouth, to whisper like it is a conspiracy.

 

“It’s a food from my realm, it’s a crispy crust, with tomato sauce, cheese, and vegetables and meat on it. It’s really good, and is actually healthy!” I stage whisper, causing Cullen to let out a laugh, smiling at me as he reaches out, brushing my hair behind my ear, causing me to jolt up straight, face burning as I look at him with wide eyes. He seems to remember himself, as his face turns red, and he stares back at me.

 

“Maker’s breath, I’m sorry.” He rubs the back of his neck, nervously.

 

“I-It’s alright.” I stammer out, letting out a nervous laugh, and smiling at him before looking away, my heart hammering in my chest as I take deep breathes, floundering for something to say.

 

“Right,” He stands up. “I believe it’s time for me to return to work.” He rubs his neck, pointedly looking away from me. “Thank you for the picnic. Have a good day.” With that, he basically runs away, causing me to let out a huff, falling back onto the fur pallet.

 

“That... was… _amazing_.” I jump at Declan’s voice appearing behind me, he chuckles as he claps at me.

 

“That was funny, that’s what that shite was. He’s a jackboot, you know!” Sera cackles, causing me to let out an annoyed groan, turning away to start picking things up again.

 

“I think it was _romantic_.” Cassandra sighs, appearing with the two of them, and I let out an even louder groan.

 

“Not you _too_!” I throw my arm over my eyes, my face flushed as Declan drops onto the pallet, and I look over at him as Cassandra and Sera join.

 

“You’re being too subtle.” Declan decides, causing me to raise an eyebrow at him.

 

“What’s not too subtle, with Cullen? Walking up to him, jumping into his arms, and wrapping my leg around him?” I sneer, rolling over to sit up as Declan laughs, Cassandra’s face is red, and Sera is rolling across the ground, cackling.

 

“That’s a bit too _much_.” Cassandra explains, causing me to snort as I stand, taking the tray in my arms, and starting towards the Chantry, while the others follow.

 

“Look, shouldn’t we focus on the Breach, and _not_ my love life?” I counter as I duck under an arrow, that lands in the practice dummy, and round into the main part of the Haven.

 

“You know that the Breach will be there, until next week, when we close it. But, what happens when it’s closed? Will you go back to wandering? Don’t you want to settle down?” Cassandra inquires, causing me to pause, looking back at her.

 

“I don’t know if that’s for me, anymore.” I state, before turning back around, and hurrying down the stairs towards the kitchens in the Chantry.

 

_~One Week Later~_

 

Pacing the floor of my cabin, my fingers rake through my hair as my thoughts race, and everything goes stalk still as there is a knock on the door. Crossing to the door in three strides, I pull it open to reveal Cullen, dressed in full armor, with a grim smile on his face. “Is it time?” I ask, causing him to nod as I take a deep breath. “You know what to do?” I ask, causing him to nod once more, resting his hand on the pommel of his sword.

 

“Roderick has lead Katie and Josephine through the path, the three of them will be leading groups of civilians through it, and we will have a fraction of our troops left behind, to fight the attackers that will be coming.” Cullen explains. It’s lucky that they’ve come to trust me enough, and that Varric’s story has already made me out to be something of a seerer. “Are you sure this is the best route.”

 

“It’s our best route.” I confirm with a sharp nod, tying back my ginger locks as I enter the cabin, he follows to sit on my bed while I step behind my changing screen, shedding my vest, tunic, and leather breeches, exchanging them for my black leather armor.

 

“Your sister is not thrilled about being kept from the fighting.” Cullen explains as I lace up my knee high boots. “Your brother isn’t any happier, about being left out of the main circle’s battle.”

 

“He’s my Guardian, if I die, then he has a role to protect you all.” I state as I step out from behind the screen, fasting then last three of my buckles, and looking up at him as I shrug on my vest. “I expect you to protect them as well. Not just the civilians, but my siblings, and my friends too. I’m trusting you Cullen, with things that I’ll never trust to anyone else.” Cullen’s mouth falls open, then snaps shut, then opens and closes twice more. “Can I trust you with this?”

 

“Yes, but…” He stands up, crossing over to me with his hand reaching out to land on my shoulder. “this isn’t the end. You will survive this.”

 

“We’re changing things, Cullen.” I shake my head. “Who knows what will happen?” I cross over the to the chest at the foot of my bed, and pull out my belt, tucking in my purple tinted longsword and enchanted dagger, before slinging on my quiver of arrows, and bow. Turning back to him, I hold out my arms as if to ask how I look, and Cullen chuckles as he steps up, smoothing out my vest collar, and restring my gauntlets. “See? I can’t dress myself, who else am I going to trust with this?”

 

“Alright, are you sure you are ready for this?” Cullen asks. “We can do this later.”

 

“Everyone’s ready and geared up, the tensions too high. We can do this.” I state as he looks at me with worried eyes. “Cullen, it’s been years since we’ve first met, and you look at me with the same worried eyes now, as you did then. I’m not a naive, twenty year old anymore. I know how bad the world can be now.”

 

“Kaleigh, you were never naive.” Cullen smiles at me, and I wrinkle my nose at him as I smile. “You’ve always been strong, and smart, and this will be nothing for you.” He says softly.

 

“Cullen-”

 

“Are you prepared to do this?” Solas asks, barging in without knocking, causing Cullen and I to jump apart, I glare at the elf as Cullen rubs the back of his neck, shoulding past Solas as he leaves the cabin. “So, you have become closer in the months that have passed?”

 

“I don’t see how it’s your business, Solas.” I answer, moving towards my bed to knee at the head, pulling out Katie’s backpack, and a replica that holds my few belongings.

 

“I beg to differ. Everything concerns me, since it’s my magic embedded in your hand, anything can cause the magic to change, warp, become corrupt.” Solas states, standing with his feet spread, and hands clasped, going into lecture mode.

 

“Flirting will not tamper with the magic, Solas.” I snipe, throwing my bag over my shoulder as I look at him, seeing his face burning red.

 

“No, but love might.”

 

“Why does everyone speak of love? It’s not love! It’s no more love now, with him, than it was, when I learned of you!” My hand smacks over my mouth, and Solas’s eyes widen, the tips of his ears are tinged pink.

 

“I see.” He clears his throat.

 

“All this talk of love, what about of trust?” I inquire, walking across the room to close the door to my cabin, and look at him. “I was engaged, when I came here!” I stalk over to him, shoving my ring-clad hand in his face. “I had someone that I loved. That loved me! You all speak of love! You know nothing of what I’ve truly been through!” I scream in his face, turning away to grip my hair at the roots. “I wanted adventure! I wanted a family! I wanted to finish my education, and work, and I had plans! Plans Solas! Plans!” I look at him. “I had so many things that I wanted, it was ripped away from me to day I came here!” A tear slips from my eye, and trails down my face. “I can’t go home, Solas. There is no way for me to get back. I have to make the best of this world. To make this home.”

 

“Kaleigh…”

 

“So yeah! Maybe this affects you plans to get your world back, but at least it’s within reach. Mine never will be again.” I hiss at him, struggling to rein in my tears, and fight back the sobs attempting to escape. “Not only that, but I have to be strong. I’m this Herald, because of your fucking mistake! I have to be strong because, my siblings are stuck here with me now! I have to be strong, because it’s not just them counting on me, but the entire world now!” Solas at least has the decency to look slightly ashamed. “So, continue trying to pry happiness away from me, as we both know that this thing,” I grip the wrist of my hand that hold the mark. “destroys me!”

 

“Kaleigh, calm yourself!”

 

“You’re right. Of course.” I let of a sigh, taking deep breathes. “I can’t do this right now. I can’t break down.” I shake my head. “I can’t do this, when I need to be strong. Excuse me.” I shoulder past him, starting towards the door once more, when he grabs my arm, spinning me around to hold me in a tight hug. “W-What are you doing?! Let go!” I scream, causing his grip to tighten.

 

“No.” He responds.

 

“Solas, stop. I need to go, we need to go.” I urge, struggling to escape his grasp.

 

“No.” He states simply.

 

“Solas, com-”

 

“No.” He snaps, hugging me tighter again. “I realize that this is all my fault, the mark landing on you, this Breach. All of it. I realize that I’m fixing it, just to destroy the world once more, and you’re dying because of the mark.” He starts to rub my back, attempting to sooth me. “You can’t be strong all the time, and listening to you now, I realize that you’ve yet to even process all of this.”

 

“Solas, I can’t do this right now. We’re about to go into battle.”

 

“You need to cry, then you can cry.” Solas states, causing me to wrinkle my nose, and finally shove him away, and he looks at me in shock as he stumbles back.

 

“I’m not a delicate flower, Solas!” I snap, causing him to smile at me.

 

“I did not say you were.” He brushes himself off, then stands up straight. “Since you are being impulsive, we should go.”

 

“I am not being impulsive! You are the one who hugged me out of nowhere.” I state, leaving the cabin as he follows.

 

“True. But I’m not the one who started to breakdown at the mention on love.” Solas responds, following me out of the cabin, and towards the Chantry. “If anything, I would say that the very idea that you could love anyone other than your betrothed fills you abhorrence.” He states as I open the door to the war room, everyone turns to stare at the two of us as we enter.

 

“I am not repulsed at the thought of loving anyone save Michael-”

 

“Obviously, from your lackluster feelings towards the mere word love, and the fact that you still wear his ring.” Solas counters, waltzing past me to take his spot along the wall, between Zevran and Fenris. I feel anger stinging my face, causing my cheeks to tinge red, under everyone’s gaze as I clench and unclench my fists, and close the door to lean against it.

 

“Songbird,” Krem calls from between Bull and Katie. “I would like to point out that it’s been 11 years since you’ve come here, and nearly one year since the inquisition has started, and you have worn the ring this entire time.”

 

“Maker’s breath, can we drop the subject of my bloody love life already?! That’s all that anyone wishes to focus on these past three weeks!” Cassandra and Declan at least look guilty as I clear my throat, dropping Katie’s bag at her feet, and step up to middle of the room, observing the map and Declan’s layout plan.

 

“So the Templars will stand behind you, and Solas and Cassandra will accompany you to the Breach.” Leliana says smoothly. “While the Breach is being closed, Declan, Josephine, Katie, and I will start leading groups of 20 or so Civilians out through the pilgrimage path that has been shown to us by Roderick.”

 

“While Bull, and his Chargers set up the trebuchets, and a collection of our troops ready themselves for battle.” Cullen explains.

 

“Meanwhile I will defend the last of the trebuchet, and draw the attention of our attackers, while you insure that everyone makes it out of Haven. Half way down the mountain, you’ll meet up with the others at the base that Cole, Sera, and the others have set up. I will meet you when I’ve managed to escape.” I state, causing a few of the others to exchange looks of wary and worry. “Should I parish, Declan will step up in my place. He will find a way to close the rifts, he’s resourceful.”

 

“Wait, what?!” Declan shouts as Katie lets out a rasp of a gasp, I look at my twin brother.

 

“I’m entrusting this to you, brother.” I say, knowing that the worry and sorrow in my voice will make him comply.

 

“Anything else, you like to say?” Josephine says, causing me to square my shoulders, hands clasped behind my back.

 

“This is it. With this close, we’re almost home free.” I start pacing, my hands still behind my back. “We may have to abandon our first home, but we will find another, even if we have to rebuild one, from the ground up, because it’s not the buildings that make a home. It’s friends, and families, it’s comradery, and it’s hope, it’s peace and it’s protection. Home, is all of the things that the Inquisition represents. Home is where the heart is- Gaius Plinius Secundus.” I pause, taking a deep breath, meeting each other their gazes for a fraction of a second. “While we may be without a home for a while, and lost during this time, we will always have a light. I have never been so close knit, I have never had such amazing friends, and I will never be more honored to fight alongside anyone, then today. You’re not just my friends, you’re my merry bunch of misfits, and I love you all.” I state, smiling at them. “Today is not the end, today is the beginning of a new start. Now, let's get out there and kick some ass!” Everyone hoots and cheers, causing my smile to spread as the others leave the war room, and I am left behind, turning on my heels to look at the map. Fingers tracing the stab marks, frayed edges, and torn places, the various stains from ink spills, and drinks, and foods, and late nights candle accidents, the water spots from the leaky ceiling, and stains from the dirty markers that had once littered the paper, memories playing through my head like old movie clips. I smile fondly.

 

“That was quite the speech.” I turn on my heels, eyes wide in surprise as I realize that someone is still here, having been quietly watching me the entire time.

 

“I hope it inspired them, because it didn’t inspire me.” I state, causing him to smile at me, pressing off the door to cross the floor to stand before me.

 

“You give inspiration, that is why you are a good leader. Watching you pull away from others, when we traveled together, because you knew you had to leave, and though you tried, I still got close. Varric and Merrill still got close. You managed to practically be adopted by Hawke’s mother. You didn’t try to pull away this time, Kaleigh. You _stayed_ . You _care_ about these people.” Fenris rests his forehead against my own, his green eyes bore into mine. “You are no longer alone.” I close my eyes, exhaling through my nose, before opening my eyes to smile at him.

 

“Thanks Fen. You’re amazing, as always.” He chuckles as he lets me go, I can see red tinging his cheeks as we start out the door. I mount Thindrol, joining Cassandra and Solas on their mounts as we start our journey up the mountain, and towards the Breach, an unsettling feeling sinking in my stomach like a rock. _Everyone knows, this isn’t the end of our journey._


	19. Chapter 19

_~Chapter Eighteen~_

 

Standing before the Breach, my hand tingles, before the mark sputters and sparks to life, causing Cassandra to look over at me in worry, and Solas watches the rift for a moment, pacing beside us as the Templars get into position. Solas glances over at me, as if asking that I am ready, and, though hesitant, I give him a firm nod, causing him and Cassandra to step back to direct the Templars as I slowly step forward, studying the Breach. “Templars!” Cassandra calls.

 

“Focus past the Herald,” Solas orders, his voice is firm, and one that I know that he’s used in the past. “let her will draw from you.” As he says this, I can feel a tingling starting in my toes, spreading and morphing throughout my body, making me feel lighter as my mark reaches, and connects, the Breach claws open, clinging to the magic within my hand. Blood rushes my ears as the normal pain is dulled by the Templar’s abilities, the feeling of flesh being stripped from my hand, as if layer by layer is not present, but there is a hoarseness in my throat, and the sound of screaming encroaches my ears, causing me to realize that it’s coming from my own lips as I press forward, towards the center of the rift. There is a sound of shouting, accompanied by clangs of metal on dirt, and the scream fades from my lips as strength envelopes me, I press that strength towards the mark, and the Breach splits open with an agonising crack. I stumble backwards from the backlash of power, rolling across the ground as white encompasses my entire field of vision, my ears ringing as the white fades, and I slowly sit up, holding my arm as I kneel over.

 

“Herald!” The shout sounds disfigured, fuzzy almost. “Herald!” Another shout, and I look around, Cassandra is suddenly stalking forward, her hand landing on my shoulder. “Kaleigh?” She calls, causing me to blink as I realize that it’s much clearer now. “You did it!” She calls in relief as I stand, the static in my ears fades away as I turn, and the templars behind us raise their swords, shouting and cheering in triumph. Adan had stayed behind to check me over, and as soon as we enter Haven’s limits, he is at my side, cleaning up the blood from my ears, and checking me over as quite a few civilians are still running around the village, gathering supplies and loved ones. Sitting on a table before the Chantry, Cassandra and Katie both enter the building with groups of 30-45 Civilians, this time, leading them towards the pilgrimage path as Declan and Josephine come out to gather together more.

 

“Kaleigh!” My head snaps up from observing the bandaging of my arm that Adan is doing, to land on Fenris and Cullen, Solas is leading them over.

 

“Fenris, why aren’t you at the forward camp?” I demand as soon as I see him, he shoves Adan away, none too kindly, and pulls me into a tight hug, his white ponytail brushes my arms as I wrap him in a hug as well. “I’m fine. We’ve won the battle, but the war has yet to come.”

 

“Promise me, you will be safe.” He demands, pulling away from our embrace to look me in the eye. “ _Promise_.”

 

“I can’t do that.” I shake my head. “Could you?”

 

“I-” Fenris sighs. “No.” He agrees, looking down as I pat him on the arm, and beam at him.

 

“Start making your way to the forward camp, alright?” He nods, turning towards the Chantry with a smile and he shoots me the _rock on_ sign that I taught him, before disappearing into the building before, I turn my head to look at Cullen, who rubs his neck as he steps up to me. “Stop. Worrying.” I grin at him, and he blinks at me, like he’s shocked I knew that he was. “Not only do I know you, but I know you _too_ well.” I tease as he gives me a small smile, and I hop of the makeshift observation table, stepping up to hug him as he stiffens, then hugs me back.

 

“So,” He steps back, flashing me a wavering smile that seems like he’s trying feel confident, and I can tell it’s failing. “be safe as you can be, please.”

 

“Alright,” I let out a light laugh. “you have to be safe too.” He nods, stepping back as the alarm bell starts ringing, and I sling my bow over one shoulder, sheathing my long daggers as I start towards the gate, which shakes from the explosions behind it.

 

“Bulk over the mountain. You were right.” Zevran says as he stumbles to a stop beside Cullen and I.

 

“You two get the rest of the civilians, and get them out, _now_!” I shout as I shove past running soldiers.

 

“Wait!” Cullen grabs my arm, causing me to look at him as Zevran looks between us, before he bows his head, and dashes off. “You don’t have to do this, if we leave now, you can escape with us.”

 

“Cullen,” I sigh as I meet his gaze. “I don’t plan on dying here, today. I _know_ what I have to do. So do you.” He frowns at my words. “Remember what I made you promise?”

 

“You mean-”

 

“Go!” I snap, turning to throw open the gate as a soldier falls, dead to the ground, and Dorian looks at me from where he’s doubled over.

 

“Ah good, I much appreciate you opening the gate.” Dorian croons, causing me to bite my lip to hold back a laugh.

 

“Expected you long before you arrived.” I state, causing him to blink in surprise, before he brushes my comment off with finesse.

 

“I _am_ here to warn you. Fashionably late, I’m afraid.” He says as I help him stand, he leans on his staff like a walking stick, I can feel the prickle of his mana regenerating in the air. He stumbles for a second, causing me to scramble to catch him, he merely presses off my shoulder. “Mite exhausted. Don’t mind me.” He clears his throat as he stands once more, looking me in the eyes. “My name is-”

 

“Dorian!” I whirl around as Declan bursts forward from the gates, causing the altus to look at him in surprise.

 

“Declan!” I hiss.  “You’re supposed to be escaping to the forward camp!” He ignores me for in favor of slinging Dorian’s arm over his shoulders.

 

“Have we met?” The mage inquires.

 

“No.” Declan answers, the three of us making our way into the gates, for safety.

 

“You know my name- You know what, nevermind.” Dorian waves it off, shaking his head as two soldiers that remain, swing the gates shut. “I bring news from Redcliff, an army of rebel mages are right behind me.”

 

“We already know.” I explain. “Declan can explain everything, I must turn the last trebuchet for the final assault.” I narrow my eyes, pointing at my brother with a stern finger. “ _You_ need to get to the forward camp. **_Now._ ** ” Declan looks at me, worry clear in his eyes.

 

“Yes, sister.” He starts towards the Chantry with Dorian’s arm around his shoulder, propping the still recovering mage up.

 

“And find Katie!” I order, causing him to look back at me, and nod. Turning, I prepare to exit the gates, to hit the trebuchets and turn the final, when a hand grabs my arm, and I look back to find Cullen standing there. “No, dammit! I said go!”

 

“Please.” He begs again, causing my heart to clench, and I shake my head.

 

“I can’t.”

 

“Kaleigh-”

 

“I _can’t_. Don’t ask me again.” I yank my arm from his grasp, escaping through the gates, which close behind me, and I see him standing there as they shut, looking worriedly after me. Shaking my head once more, I slip into the shadows of the night, crossing to the first trebuchet, and let it fling the first stone into the mountain, that shakes the world as snow pounds down, burying a third of the rebel mages as I stare from my hiding place. Hurrying towards the second trebuchet, I cut the rope with one of my daggers, and prepare myself as the second third of the mages are buried, listening and holding my breath. I am not disappointed as the air quakes with a dragon’s roar, fire breath burns down the trebuchets, causing me to jump from the second one at the last second, folding into a roll as I jump to my feet, dashing towards the final trebuchet that was hidden away. “Shit.” I stumble to a stop at I see a corrupted Grand Enchanter Fiona waiting at the trebuchet, three mages on either side of her, and as the Grand Enchanter starts to prepare a fireball to bring the final trebuchet down, I cross the gap between up, sinking both of my daggers into her spine. She lets out a shriek of agony as I twist the blades, planting my feet on her back, pressing off into a backflip to land on the ground in a crouch as she sinks to the ground.

 

“GET HER!” Fiona shrieks, causing the six other mages to turn on me. Weaving under, and around, dodging spell after spell, I close the gap, slicing one mage across the tendon of their leg, causing them to crumple as blood spurts forth. Turning on the others, I make short work of disabling three more, leaving two seeth mages to charge at me, and in their blind rage, I cut one’s throat straight, causing the blood to spill on the other, temporarily blinding them so that I can stab them through the throat. Crossing to the trebuchet victoriously, I start to turn the trebuchet, just as it gets into positions, Fiona lets out an unruly screech, clambering to her feet as blood swirls around her, she charges at me with her staff, as if she’s using it as a sword, and I parry it with my daggers, pressing her back with all of my strength. The blood fuels her magic, making her stronger as she swings at me again and again, and each swing connects with my daggers, until she gets too close. My foot connects with her middle with such strength, she stumbles because of shock, allowing me to get the upper hand, swinging her staff out of her hands with one dagger, the other sinks right into her stomach as I hold her shoulder.

 

“Maker watch over you in the next life.” I whisper as I pull away, watching the light of life leave her eyes as she slumps dead to the ground, and as I turn back to the trebuchet, only for the dragon to come swooping down, blowing fire at my feet, causing me to let out a frantic scream, rolling out of the way, and to my feet as the dragon drops down before my only exit, turning back to the trebuchet, the giant figure of Corypheus gleans through the fire, as through approaching a wounded rabbit, ripe for the harvest. The dragon roars, drawing my attention as my hands go to my daggers, and then Corypheus bellows, causing the dragon to fall mute.

 

“ **_Enough!_ ** ” He raises his hands, causing a wave of magic to flow at me. “Pretender, you toy with forces beyond your ken! _No more!_ ” He growls, and I let out a snide laugh.

 

“You call me a pretender? You flaunt a power that isn’t even _yours_!” I snarl.

 

“Mortals beg for a truth the cannot have. It is beyond what you are, what I was.” Corypheus answers, causing me to glare. “Know me. Know what you have pretended to be. Exalt the Elder One! The _will_ that is Corypheus! You will kneel.” The darkspawn magister raises his hand, to point it at me.

 

“Tyrants don’t have long rules. Dictatorships are even shorter! You will get nothing, from _noone!_ ” I snap, slicing my hand through the air.

 

“You will resist.” As he moves, so do I. “You will always resist. It matters not.” He lifts Solas’s orb in his hand, and I narrow my eyes at him. “I am here for the anchor. The process of removing it, begins now!” Red power flows from his fist as he directs it at me, a gasp rips from my chest as I double over, grabbing my hand. “It is your fault, Herald. You interrupt a ritual years in the planning, and instead of dying, you stole it’s purpose.” He purrs. “I do not know how you survived, but what marks you as _touched_ , what you flail at rifts. I crafted to assault the very heavens.” The mark fluctuates as pain erupts from it, crawling up my arm, causing me to bite my tongue in agony. “And you use the anchor to undo my work.” He sneers. “The gawl!”

 

“You are a liar! You are nothing but a scared man hiding behind a curse that has barely kept you alive for thousands of years! You will not win! We will not yield! We will not fall!” I scream at him.

 

“You are the liar, you prey upon my work, like a goddess preys upon her servants with her wraith!” He stalks across the ground, snatching me up by my marked hand, and glares into my face. “I once breached the Fade in the name of another, to serve the old gods of the empire in person. I found only _chaos_ and _corruption_ , dead whispers. For a thousand years I was confused. No more! I have gathered the will to return under no name, but my own!” He snarls in my face. “To champion withered Tevinter and correct this blighted world. _Beg_ that I succeed, for I have seen the throne of the gods, and it was empty!” I smirk at him as I hock a loogie right in his face, he cringes as he turns, throwing me against the trebuchet, my head swims as my vision blurs. “The anchor is permanent. You have spoiled it with your stumbling.” I grab a sword that is laying nearby, scrambling to my feet as I watch the dragon and Corypheus get closer. “So be it. I will begin again, find another way to give this world the nation, and God, it requires.” My gaze is drawn to the flaming arrow that is shot into air, like a flare, causing a smile to twist onto my lips as I look back the oblivious magister. “And _you_ , I will **not** suffer even an unknowing rival. You. Must. Die.” At each punctuated word, I step closer to the lever that releases the trebuchet.

 

“You expect us to surrender, and to kneel! We will **_not_ ** . You’ll face us all, each one of us that you’ve pissed off! When we choose, and on _our_ terms!” With that, I kick the lever, causing the trebuchet to shutter into action, flinging the final stone into the mountain, and snow hammers down the mountainside, while Corypheus is distracted, I bolt towards the Chantry. Jumping onto the platform of a broke trebuchet, the snow jolts me off the platform, into a large crack in the wood, my head connects with something sharp, and everything goes black.

 

A gasp rips from my lips as I bolt up straight, the sudden movement causes my ribs to scream in protest, a groan spills from me as I struggle to my feet, cradling my injured arm to my chest as I stumble through the tunnels, and out into the cold, blizzarding night. Half a mile from the tunnel, I notice that there is a burning wagon, just like from the game, and I know now, that it is a trail, set for me to follow. What feels like hours later, I am quaking and my fingers and toes are numb as I breathe on them, attempting to warm myself, and to my surprise, in the shelter of a small grove of trees, is an empty fireplace, long since dead. “Cold. Nothing.” I manage to say, before continuing along through the trees, the branches and twigs cutting into my frozen flesh, drawing heat from inside of me. Hours later, a few trails left for me to follow, I hear a wolf in the distance, and the snow is up to my knees, which I can’t feel as I look for the dark figure in fear. Thankful that the snow died down, I come up to the second fireplace, feeling the heat from the embers as steam rises, and I shove my fingers closer to the smoke, noticing the tips turning blue. “Embers. Recent!” I exhale in relief, before struggling forward, the snow seems to suck my boots and feet in further, my knees shake and I shiver and curl into myself. Before long, I can see the warm light of the forward camp, causing me to let out a shuddering breath of relief, my vision swims as my knees fail, and I fall to the ground with a sharp thump.

 

“There! It’s her!” I hear Cullen’s voice.

 

“Thank the Maker!” Cassandra’s voice encroaches my ears as someone lifts me from the ground, holding me close as I blink my snow crusted eyes, shivering as I look up at the person holding me.

 

“C-C-Cullen.” I stammer out, causing him to give a heady, relieved laugh.

 

“You’re late.” Cullen teases as he starts towards the forward camp.

 

“S-S-S-Sorry.” I shiver convulsively.

 

“Shh. Just sleep.” He murmurs, causing me nod, snuggling closer to his heat as I can, feeling exhaustion falling over me, and my eyes fluttering shut.

 

* * *

 

Shouting from Cassandra, Leliana, Josephine, and Cullen wakes me, Declan’s occasional shout cuts through the fog in my head, and I sit up a bit to observe the five of them arguing. “What would you have me tell them? This isn’t what we asked them to do!” Cullen demands.

 

“We cannot simply ignore this! We _must_ find a way!” Cassandra argues.

 

“And who put _you_ in charge? We need a consensus, or we have nothing!” Cullen points out.

 

“Please, we must use reason! Without the infrastructure of the inquisition, we’re hobbled!” Josephine intrudes.

 

“That can’t come from nowhere!” Cullen snaps.

 

“She didn’t say it could!” Leliana rebuttes.

 

“Without Kaleigh’s mark, you’d all be doomed.” Declan cuts in, and Mother Giselle notices me from my bedside.

 

“Enough! This is getting us nowhere!” Cassandra bellows.

 

“Shh, you need rest.” She murmurs, her warm voice melts like chocolate, or a blanket over me.

 

“They’ve been at it for hours, it’s difficult to rest.” I point out.

 

“They have that luxury, thanks to you. The enemy could not follow, and with time to doubt, we turn to blame.” She sighs. “Infighting may threaten us as much as this Corypheus.”

 

“If they’re arguing about what to do next, I need to be there.”

 

“Another heated voice won’t help. Even yours. Perhaps especially yours.” She pauses, looking away or a moment in thought, before turning back to look at me. “Our leaders struggle because of what we, as survivors, witnessed. We saw our defender stand, and fall. And now, we have see her _return_.” I slowly sit up, cradling my arm to my chest. “The more the enemy is beyond us, the more miraculous your actions appears. And the more our trials seem ordained.” She frowns in thought. “That is hard to accept, no? What “we” have been called to endure? What “we,” perhaps, must come to believe?” She inquires, causing me to frown, looking down at the mark on my hand.

 

“I escaped the avalanche. Barely, perhaps, but I didn’t die.” I state, guilt weighing on my stomach.

 

“Of course, and the dead cannot return from across the Veil. But, they people know what they saw. Or, perhaps, what they needed to see. The Maker works both in the moment, and in how it is remembered.” She smiles warmly at me. “Can we truly know the Heavens are _not_ with us?”

 

“Mother Giselle, I just don’t see how what I believe, matters. I’m not even Andrastian. Lies or not, Corypheus is a real physical threat.” I press of the makeshift cot. “We can’t match that with hope alone.” I stumble over to the opening of the tent, leaning against the post to watch my friends all separate, looking so defeated as I feel.

 

“ _Shadow’s fall,_

_and hope has fled._

_Steel your heart_

_The dawn will come.”_ I turn to Mother Giselle.

 

“ _The night is long_

_And the path is dark_

_Look to the sky_

_For one day soon._

_The dawn will come.”_

 

_“The Shepherd's lost_

_And his home is far”_ My gaze is drawn to Leliana, who starts to sing along.

 

_“Keep to the stars_

_The dawn will come”_ My heart skips a beat as slowly, one by one, civilians, and even my siblings, start to sing along.

 

“ _The night is long_

_And the path is dark_

_Look to the sky_

_For one day soon_

_The dawn will come.”_ I step back as people start to kneel before me.

 

_“Bare your blade_

_And raise it high_

_Stand your ground_

_The dawn will come.”_ I look away, unable to bare this is truly happening.

 

_“The night is long_

_And the path is dark_

_Look to the sky_

_For one day soon_

_The dawn will come”_ Everyone erupts into cheers as Mother Giselle steps up to me.

 

“An army needs more than an enemy. It needs a cause.” She murmurs, before walking away, and Solas wanders over to me, beckoning me towards the outskirts of the forward camp. I follow him as he waves his hand, lighting the beacon, that sits mounted, with veilfire. “You make an impression, I will give you that. You know the orb belongs to me.”

 

“Yes.” He smiles at me, in a friendly way. “We’re going to get it back, for you.” He blinks in surprise.

 

“You will need to a home. A stronghold.”

 

“Skyhold?”

 

“Skyhold.” He confirms. “We shall scout to the north, be their guide. When the time comes, we will find the stronghold that will be the new base for the inquisition.”

 

“A new home.” I find myself smiling, and Solas looks at me with joy.

 

“A new home.” He agrees.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> End of Part One


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We're back, in Skyhold. Some bonding with Cullen and Solas in this Chapter, enjoy!

 

_ ~Chapter Nineteen~ _

 

Watching from my perch on the roof of what would soon be the tavern, I study the people that are hustling and bustling, families that are reuniting with loved ones, friends greeting friends. I can see Fenris and Varric talking, or Zevran studying the stronghold for weak points, I can see Declan talking with Dorian while Bull bandages my brother’s arm, he has a nasty cut from a rock that fell on the way here, that Bull and Dorian have been taking turns to help fix up -leave it to Declan to shove a person (Dorian) out of the way only to get cut himself-, and I can see Krem sitting with Katie, Liz, and Cole, the four of them are talking together. Sol is talking to an unfamiliar dwarf with blue hair and various bandages across her head, near them are Lady Lanani and Isene, and I can see Cassandra, Leliana, and Josephine are talking. Vivienne is addressing Blackwall and Sera, Solas is observing Cole’s interactions with my sister’s group of friends, and finally, I spot Cullen ordering troops around, going over necessities for the stronghold.

 

Cassandra, Leliana, Josephine, and Cullen had already approached me about taking on the role of Inquisitor, and while I know that the Herald is  _ supposed _ to become the Inquisitor, I’m not sure if I can do a good job of truly  _ guiding _ and  _ leading _ an army, let alone protect the civilians and believers that flock under the Inquisition's flag.  _ Under…  _ **_my_ ** _ flag _ ? I shake my head roughly, attempting to shake the thought from my head, before sighing.  _ They said I have to give an answer when I’m healed enough. _ I glance at the makeshift sling for my broken arm, Declan had shown Adan how to make one when I refused any more healing poultices, saying that we needed to conserve our resources for our wounded soldiers, that was two months ago, and still things are almost as bad as the first day at Skyhold. Everyone’s been so busy, Leliana and Zevran with finding and replacing spies, Cullen and Fenris with fortifications and rebuilding the hold, Josephine and Declan have been working on gather noble favors and bedroom assignments, and Cassandra has been helping with training the troops in place of Cullen during this time. Because of my arm, Lady Lanani hardly even lets me into the kitchen in my spare time, which I use to make loaves of bread, instead of using my time to cook for Cullen and I- though all she and Isene have been letting me do is flour the rolling table, and hand them the bowls of dough since I’m one arm down. Even Dennet doesn’t let me near the stables, for fear of injuring myself more, or aggravating my injuries because of the  _ one time _ I tried to ride one handed, and I fell off my horse, lucky Fenris was feel extra protective that day, and had been hovering at the horse’s side, he caught me.

 

 _But, if I can’t even help with menial tasks in the kitchens, because god knows how many bowls of dough I have dropped and shattered, which equals how much extra slop went down to the soldier’s camp for their pigs, then how can I be expected to raise an army from_ _nothing? It’s not the first time I’ve broken a bone, but it’s the first time I’ve been rendered useless, because of it._ I chew on my bottom lip in thought, feeling a depression start to weigh and settle over me, when I am snapped out of my reverie by something flying at my face, my instincts react automatically, catching the flying object, with the hand of my uninjured arm, a few inches from my face. Turning my hand over, I realize that it’s a loaf of bread, causing me to look down to see Sera waving at me with a goofy laugh. “Come on, _Lady Herald_ , you want the rest, you gotta come down.” She calls with a hand next to her mouth, causing me to blink in surprise, before I scoot towards the edge of the roof, and her face falls. “Hey, wa-” I launch myself off the roof, just as Bull passes under the place I’m at, he looks up at Sera’s cry, just in time to reach out, catching me with a wide eyed look, slight fear and worry in his gaze.

 

“You’re crazy, Song Bird!” He says, placing me on the ground as I pat his chest with my uninjured hand, grinning up at him.

 

“At least I am proud of that fact.” I giggle as Sera dashes over.

 

“Has our all touched lady Herald gone crazy?!” Sera cries as she look at me. “I’m all up for dangerous stuff, yeah, but not when the dangerous stuff involves hurt people. You’re still a little person, even as a big person, aintcha? You gotta be careful!” Sera shoves my shoulder lightly with a smile. “Crazy.”

 

“Crazy people don't know they're crazy. I know I'm crazy, therefore I'm not crazy, isn't that crazy?” I taunt, causing the two of them to stare at me in confusion as Declan wanders over with Dorian following him.

 

“Are you quoting Pirates of the Caribbean again, sister?” Declan asks as Dorian raises an interested eyebrow.

 

“No, I’m not just quoting Pirates of the Caribbean,” I roll my eyes, sticking my tongue out at my brother, who retaliates the same. “I am quoting Jack Sparrow!” I announce proudly.

 

“Who was  _ in _ Pirates of the Caribbean.” Declan states.

 

“You say potato, I say fuck you.” I say as Iron Bull booms with laughter, echoed by Sera and Declan, even Dorian gives an amused grin as I look at the three of them in confusion, then I smirk. “The problem is not the problem; the problem is your attitude about the problem.” I state, causing Declan’s laughter to overwhelm him as he doubles over, holding his stomach as I laugh too. I look at Sera as she sobers up from the laughter, and she holds out a basket for me, I take it with a swift peek inside, lifting the pelt to see small sandwiches, cookies, small loaves of bread, and a few bowls of stew with leathers over the top to prevent spills.

 

“That cook lady warned me not to eat any, yeah? But I hate cookies, they’re terrible. Pride cookies, ugh.” Sera smirks. “So, I asked what I’m supposed to do, and she said to take you and commander Jackboot out for a while, yeah? Cause of all the work he’s been doin, and how's your arm?” I blink at her as she smirks. “I don’t talk to what’s-his-face much, so you do it.” With that, she dashes off, leaving me behind completely confused, and I give a swift glance toward Declan reveals that he’s off with Bull and Dorian, starting up towards the keep. I glance down at the basket in my only free hand, before starting down to the lower courtyard, coming to a stop to watch Cullen order a few soldiers around, one taps him on the shoulder, and he turns to me with a surprised look that morphs into a smile.

 

“Kaleigh,” He hurries over to take the basket, noticing my struggle with the weight. “How are you?” He asks after he dismisses the troops for now, and leads me over towards the stables, even pausing the grasp my uninjured arm, to help me over the fallen stone from the walkway above, to what will become his room and office.

 

“I’m good- going a bit insane from my arm injury, but Adan says it’s almost healed. He doesn’t want me to put any unnecessary stress on it- incase the fracture shifts and breaks again.” I explain as he lays the pelt from the basket out, and I take a seat on it with the basket before me. Removing the muslin wrapped sandwiches from the basket, I set to unwrapping them as he sits across from me, unwrapping the bowls of stew from their leather covers. “How are you, w-with everything that’s happened?” I inquire and he sighs.

 

“Troop morale is low, I imagine it’s due to the state your in. It should bolster once you take on the role of Inquisitor, er, if you choose.” Cullen rubs the back of his neck as I keep my head lowered, pretending to focus on the knots in the muslin, untying it with nimble fingers. “We setup best we could at Haven, but could never have prepared for an Archdemon, or  _ whatever _ that was.” I glance at him as he frowns, shame morphs his face. “With  **some** warning, we might have-” He stops, and I can practically hear what he didn’t say, ‘protected you better’ or maybe ‘been better prepared’.

 

“Cullen,” My lips twitch to the side to show I mean no harm, and that he doesn’t need to be forgiven. “Do you  _ ever _ sleep?”

 

“If Corypheus strikes again, we may not be able to withdraw.” Cullen urges for seriousness, and I pretend to school my features into a mock scowl, but it barely brings a tiny slip of a smile to his lip. “I wouldn’t  _ want _ to withdraw. We must be ready- Work on Skyhold is underway.” He’s still serious. “Guard rotations are established, we should have everything on course within the next week or so.” He shakes his head, slamming his fist into his palm. “We will  _ not _ run from here.”

 

“ Do you ever slow down ?” I question myself as his brow furrows in confusion. “How many were lost, in the attack on Haven?”

 

“Most, almost all, made it to Skyhold. We would not have been able to save so many, if not for your knowledge beforehand.” He chuckles for once. “Could be worse, as I said, morale is low, but it will bolster should you take up the role of Inquisitor.”

 

“Inquisitor McGrath, that sounds odd… don’t you think?” I ask, he knows what I’m truly asking.

 

“Not at all.” His blunt answer causes me from blink in surprise.

 

“Is that the  _ official _ response?” I inquire, biting into a sandwich as he chuckles, taking one sandwich from the small pile, pressing my bowl of stew towards me.

 

“I suppose it is, but it  _ is _ the truth.” He swears. “We need a leader, and you’ve proven to so many, what  _ I _ already knew.” His answer causes me to quirk a smile at him, a blush settling in my cheeks as I set my sandwich down, brushing my crumbs on my leggings.

 

“Thank you, Cullen.” He smiles as I look down in thought. “Our escape from Haven, it scared me, it was… close. I am just so relieved that yo- that so many made it out.” I cup a stray curl behind my ear as I look at my hands in my lap.

 

“As am I.” He says softly, a quiet, that is not entirely comfortable, settles over us, the memories of that night, the dangers that came with our travels, weighing on both of our minds. “You stayed behind, even at my urging and begging, you could have-” He stops himself, gritting his teeth. “I will  _ not _ allow the events that happened at Haven to happen again.” I know he’s not just talking about the invasion, he also means letting me stay behind. “You have my word.”  _ I will drag you behind me, kicking and screaming _ . His words say, causing me to smirk at him.

 

“Don’t worry so much,” I get on my knees, looking him level in the eye with a teasing grin as I lean forward, nose to nose with him, “if you do, I’ll worry you actually like me, or something.” With that, I steal a cookie from the basket at his side, falling back onto the pelt as his face becomes engulfed in a bright pink blush.

 

“You- I-” He clears his throat, rubbing the back of his neck with a wicked grin tugging at the scar on his upper lip. “If I didn’t know any better Kaleigh, I’d say you’d want me to like you.” His words are husky, voice warm like melted chocolate dripping across my stomach, and pooling between my legs, all while I’m choking on the cookie in my mouth in shock, causing him to grin in victory. “You’re adorable, honestly.” I’m doubling over in shock, cough harder on my cookie.

 

“Y-Y-You are evil!” I cry once I can breath again, pointing at him as he frowns. “You made me waste a good cookie! Evil!” He gives a mirthful smile at that, and shakes his head as he reaches in the basket, tossing me another cookie, which falls into my lap as I glare playfully at him, and I take the cookie, eating it as Cullen shakes his head, smirking. “Anyway,” I shake a lock of hair from my face, tilting my chin up defiantly, a smile tugging at the corner of my lip. “That’s a misnomer.”

 

“Oh?” Cullen teases.

 

“I am  _ not _ adorable. I am mean, and strong, and can kick butt like no other!” I deny, causing him to chorkle with laughter.

 

“That you say so, convinces nobody- not even yourself.” Cullen taunts as I puff my cheeks in a huffy pout, crossing my uninjured arm under my injured one, wincing, none too discreetly, at the slight pain it brings, my shoulder screaming in protesting as I drop my pout, and Cullen frowns. “How is your arm?”

 

“Better than a month ago, or even a week ago.” I admit, and he nods.

 

“Hopefully it heals quickly.” He admits, and I let out tired sigh.

 

“Me too. I’m restricted from  _ everything _ . Adan, Liz, Zevran, and Fenris are all being overbearingly protective. Did you know that I’m restricted to  _ flour _ duty in the kitchen? No doubt Declan’s doing.” I state, causing him to chuckle.

 

“I am sure your brother, the healers, and your bodyguards merely want the best for you.” Cullen says as I snort, and fork a thumb over my shoulder, where I can practically  _ feel _ Fenris’s and Zevran’s gazes on my back.

 

“Yeah, what exactly is “the best for me” by spying on our picnic from behind the rubble?” I ask seriously, and Cullen looks behind me, noticing the two elves for the first time, whom I know are now acting like they’re not spying when they totally are.

 

“I… do not know.” Cullen admits as I nod, shifting from my knees, and that’s when he notices my feet. “H-How long have you not been wearing shoes for?” He inquires.

 

“Hmm? Oh, they ripped apart on the way up the mountain, and since there’s an enchantment on the Stronghold, there’s no need for the shoes now.” I shrug my uninjured arm, causing his brow to furrow.

 

“I think you still need shoes, even if you’ve gone without for a few weeks. I’ll have Josephine find you some.” He says.

 

“No thanks. Those boots she finds are all so  _ clunky _ , and they make me trip.” I explain, causing Cullen to chuckle.

 

“No shoes? You’ll be called a Dalish.” He teases as I shrug.

 

“There’s nothing wrong with that.” His face falls.

 

“Er, no- I-I hadn’t meant that there was. I merely meant that- Well, that’s why I- I mean, the Dalish are sometimes known for, you know… not wearing shoes.” Cullen stumbles and stammers are I eye him.

 

“Calm down Cullen, I know that you hadn’t meant to sound racist, it’s just how it came across to me.” I hold up a hand as he opens his mouth, which snaps shut. “I’m not mad, but perhaps you should  _ think _ before speaking.”

 

“I agree. I merely meant to tease you. Shoes or no shoes, I don’t think it’ll matter in Skyhold.” He finally breaths soothingly. “I shall talk to Leliana about some proper fitting shoes, shall I?”

 

“If you want, I probably won’t wear them still.” I state, causing him to frown, but nod in understanding.

 

“Alright, the fact that you’re willing to at least  _ own _ them, would appease me.” He relents, causing me to grin.

 

“ _ Appease _ . Don’t we sound all prim and proper today?” I tease, and Cullen smirks.

 

“This, coming from the woman that had just used the word misnomer.” He points out.

 

“I often use words like that!” I argue, and he tilts his head, humming.

 

“ _ Do _ you?” He taunts as I scowl playfully at him.

 

“I do!” I chirp, causing him to grin.

 

“Hmm, I wonder.” He says slyly.

 

“Ass.” I hiss playfully, causing him to chuckle as we continue our picnic, playfully jesting and talking about life before the Breach, for him, and life in my world, for me, and after awhile, he helps me pack up the picnic basket with the remains, and we go our separate ways- him towards his tent to finish reports for the night, and I return the basket and it’s belongings to the kitchens, before retiring to my own tent. The next few days pass in a blur, blending into the next week without much excitement, save for the fact that I  _ finally _ take up the mantle of Inquisitor- holding the sword with one arm caused me to almost tip over, had Cassandra not grabbed my arm in a manner to make it look like she’s giving me a pat on the shoulder. Varric had brought Hawke’s letter to me in private, explaining that he’d be here with the next month, Leliana and Josephine had giving me to room at the top of the stronghold, as expected, and I had convinced the others that Cole should stay. After two weeks over nothing exciting, I finally get my cast off, and  _ that _ is when Josephine decides to bombard me.

 

“Inquisitor,  _ please _ , you must wear  **something** on your feet.” She begs as she follows me across the stronghold’s main hall, Varric is chorkling by the fire as he scribbles this down on a piece of parchment.

 

“I wear shoes when I leave, when I go on missions. Can’t I be comfortable in my own stronghold?” I press, causing her to sigh.

 

“My lady, I  _ swear _ these aren’t uncomfortable.” Josephine pleads as I pause, turning to look at the shoes as she shoves the creme colored boots into my arms, and I unlace them like I’m going to try them on, making Josephine look hopeful as I glance at the chandelier closest to Vivienne's balcony.

 

“Nah!” I dash up the stairs to the second floor of the keep, and Josephine follows as I dash towards Vivienne’s balcony, swinging the boots out onto the chandelier as Josephine gives a shriek of aghast, echoed by the Enchanter herself as I turn to them both, bowing with a sly grin. “I don’t  _ want _ to wear shoes. If I have to, I’ll wrap my feet like Fenris and Solas.” I state, before I bound back towards the atrium, throwing myself over the banister to land in a crouch a few feet behind Solas in the rotunda.

 

“Good evening,  _ Lethallan _ .” Solas turns to me from his newest painting, his face smeared with blue paint. “I am glad to see you feel better, without your sling.” He runs his eyes over my body, as if assessing for any long term damage, gaze lingering on my bare feet. “I see Madam Josephine has yet to convince you of footwear?”

 

“I threw them on the chandelier.” I state with a shrug, falling back onto his couch, which is covered in a white protective sheet.

 

“You threw them on the chandelier?!” He shocked tone causes me to giggle, covering my mouth with a sly grin.

 

“Yes.”

 

“That’s the third pair, in as many days!” He protests as I shrug.

 

“I  _ don’t _ want to wear shoes, if I don’t have to. If this is to be my new home, I shouldn’t have to be uncomfortable.”

 

“I- You… have a point.”

 

“The only reason why I wore those clunky boots around Haven, is because of the snow- now I’ll only have to wear a similar pair, when I have to go on missions.” He chuckles at that.

 

“Astute observation.” He says, painting the wall once more.

 

“Did you have a doubt?” I tease.

 

“Evidently, it was unnecessary.” Solas taunts as I give a pretend offended gasp, pressing my hand to my chest.

 

“You wound me, sir!” He glances at me out of the corner of his eye. “Oh, the pain! The  _ agony _ !” I feign, clutching my chest as I drape myself over the arm of the chaise lounge, causing Solas to rumble with laughter. “I am over here dying, and you laugh at me!” I give a mock shocked look at him, before my lips quirk up in a smile at his roaring laughter, and I start to laugh too.

 

“Your melodramatics are good for a laugh, I shall give you that.” Solas rumbles as he crosses over to me, placing his paint pallet down on the table in the middle of the room as he passes by, and he settles onto the couch beside me.

 

“My melodramatics are nothing compared to how you paint. Did you use the brush to wipe sweat away?” I inquire as I reach out with my handkerchief, and swipe the blue paint from his forehead as he crosses his eyes, as if to watch.

 

“I merely…”

 

“Wished to immerse yourself completely into your painting?” I ask as I fold the handkerchief over on the painted side, and use the clean side to wipe red paint from the bridge of his nose.

 

“I do not recall having this much paint on my person before.” He murmurs as I finally get to wiping the black smudges from his cheeks, and grin at him.

 

“Ah, there’s that handsome elf that I know and care for!” I joke, causing Solas to choke on his breath, his cheeks and the tips of his ears tinge red a my comment. “I could hardly recognize you under all that paint.” I tease him as he nods.

 

“I see. I shall make it a challenge to keep my face always clean, whenever I see you- lest you not recognize me in a crowded place.” Solas jokes as I let out a soft laugh, smiling.

 

“Ass.” I playfully punch his shoulder as he grins.

 

“Quite.” He jokes, and I shake my head, erupting into soft giggles as I lean on the chaise’s arm to keep myself from falling over. “But,” His tone is suddenly serious as I look at him, his face is completely serious. “your arm-  _ you _ are alright, correct?”

 

“You worry too much.” I rock myself to my feet, stretching with my arms behind my head, my back popping as I look at him with a reassuring grin. “Don’t worry so much. I’m fine. No lingering pain, no lasting damage, just a few scares.” He frowns at that and I shake my head, smiling at him. “ _ Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars.  _ \- Kahlil Gibran.”

 

“Adequately put.” Solas smiles from the chaise, and I nod to him, walking out of the rotunda.

 <\- Onyx Cadash


	21. Chapter 21

 

_ ~Chapter Twenty~ _

 

Sitting on the a seat on the battlements, my head is tipped back as I watch the sky, Declan and Kate sit on the ground a few feet away, playing tic-tac-toe with a piece of coal, and Varric is leaning on the battlements beside me with his hands clasped before him. “Did you tell Cassandra?” I ask him, drawing the attention of Declan and Kate.

 

“Ha! Could you imagine how that’ll go over? “Hey Seeker, ya know how you kidnapped me, and wanted me to lead you to your Champion? Remember how I said that I didn’t know where he was? I lied!” that will go over well.” Varric scoffs.

 

“You did what you had to, to protect who you needed. It worked out at the end.” I state.

 

“Yeah, you think I like this any better, Gizmo? You don’t think I can’t tell how this story will end?” He snorts, shaking his head, rubbing a gloved hand against his scruffy chin. “I’d rather this never happened.”

 

“ _ You can’t change the past, but you can ruin the present by worrying about the future _ . - Isak Dinesen.” Varric looks at me in question. “You keep worrying about what’ll happen to me in the future, you’ll prevent yourself and myself from living in the present. Calm down.” He sighs, nodding.

 

“You’re right, Gizmo. Sorry.” He says, causing me to tilt my head up, looking at him with a grin.

 

“Kaleigh!” I smirk at the crow of Elijah Hawke, who is currently stalking across the battlements, his black hair is swept back from his blue eyes, framed by his dark skin, and the blood slash tattoo across his nose. Rocking to my feet as Varric turns around, and Elijah scowls as he shoves his finger in my face, gritting his teeth. “You are in  _ so _ much trouble young lady.” I raise an eyebrow at him, snatching his finger in my hand, twisting it so that he whimpers, crumpling to his knee as I notice a familiar ginger in heavy plate armor behind him, and a small elven girl with a pixie cut, and Elijah’s Mabari.

 

“You brought Aveline and Merrill?! Are you insane? Do you know how dangerous this is?!” I scowl at Elijah, who whines as I twist his finger tighter. “I didn’t even want  _ you _ here because of the danger!”

 

“That’s why I came along, Kaleigh. To protect Merrill in Hawke’s stead.” Aveline explains, causing me to sigh as I shove Hawke away by his finger, and he scrambles to his feet as I cross over to scoop Merrill up in a hug, she squeaks before hugging me back, and then I give Aveline a hug, she pets my hair as she hugs me back.

 

“It’s good to see you.” I murmur, and Aveline hums in agreement as I pull away, giving the two of them a grin.

 

“You look good.” Aveline says, causing me to beam at her.

 

“Your hand looks so pretty!” Merrill chirps, causing me to laugh.

 

“Oh,” I turn my torso to Elijah. “Fenris is here, he’s been appointed as a bodyguard for the inquisitor, aka Me.” I turn back to Merrill and Aveline, grabbing Aveline’s hands. “How’s the baby?”

 

“Hardly a baby anymore, Markle is five now.” She answers, causing me to bounce on my heels in excitement. “He’s still in Kirkwall, with his father. How are you? I’ve heard that you faced Corypheus.”

 

“Yeah, he’s less intimidating than his dragon.”

 

“Dragon?” Elijah finally speaks up, excitement in his voice, and I giggle at him.

 

“Yes, Elijah, the darkspawn magister has a dragon.” Elijah’s grin spreads across his lips, and he crosses his arms over his chest.

 

“So, I guess we need to go to Crestwood, to meet up with Stroud.” He states.

 

“Hmm. How’d you guys feel about the old crew goin’?” I ask, causing Merrill to cheer, and Aveline smiles as Elijah claps me on the back, even Varric seems to enjoy the idea. “Good, I’ll go tell Fenris.” With that, Fenris is on Thindrol, Elijah is on Thor, Aveline is on a Thoroughbred, Merrill and I are both on Harts, Merrill on a Red Hart, I’m on Brecilian Sure-Foot, Varric is on a miniature pony, Solas is on a Chestnut with Elijah’s mabari traveling aside Elijah, the seven of us, plus Bruno, are on our way to Crestwood, my companions are all chattering and catching up as I trail behind them, a good feeling settling in my chest as I smile to myself.

 

“You seem happy.” I jolt out of my reverie, look to my left to see Elijah has fallen back to my side, causing me to shrug.

 

“I suppose I am.” I bite my lip as he scowls ahead of himself. “I’m not going to apologize for leaving.” I finally acknowledge the tense air between us. “I’m grown woman, as I was when I left. I wasn’t ungrateful of the protection you gave me, when I needed it, nor the help you provided with learning the culture, the language, but since Bethany…” I bite my bottom. “I’m  _ not _ a Hawke, nor an Amell. I hated being treated like I wasn’t my own person, with my  _ own _ family, before I came to be with you guys. It felt like you were trying to remove me from my only ties that were from my true life.” Elijah falls silent, staring at me with pain, understanding, and disappointment in his shimmering blue orbs.

 

“I… understand. I guess it’s just… I remember the agony that you were in the first few months, every night I’d hear you cry yourself to sleep, and then, the depression you fell into that lasted almost two years. You barely wanted to do anything, and as time moved on, you grew, and cheered up, and I never wanted you to fall into that way again.” Elijah sighs, carding his fingers through his slicked back hair, and looks at me. “I’m sorry.” He says earnestly.

 

“It’s alright.” I answer.

 

“So, did you find what you were looking for?” He finally asks, and I look at him in surprise. “You were never completely happy in Kirkwall, you never let yourself get too close, and you never seemed to feel like you fit in.” He chuckles. “So, have you found your place?” I look down in thought, cheing on my lip as my eyes flick to Varric and Fenris, then to Solas who had tagged along to provide healing at Caer Bronach keep.

 

“Yeah,” I look at Elijah, smiling at him. “I found a place where I belong.”

 

“Good.” Elijah smiles at me. “That’s good.”

 

~ _ Meanwhile back at Skyhold~ _

 

“What do you mean she’s  _ gone _ ?” Cullen demands of the recruit standing before him, who is cowering in his boots. The door to his office opens to reveal Kaleigh’s brother and sister, the two of them are entering the office as Declan’s face has puckered up into a sour look, and Katie seems to look rather sad. “What is the meaning of this? Your sister is  _ gone _ ?”

 

“She left an hour ago, with Varric, Fenris, Solas, that Hawke guy and his two companions.” Declan scoffs, leaning against the ladder as the recruit in question scurries from the office, and Katie hops up on Cullen’s desk, singing her legs as Cullen massages his temples.

 

“Of course  _ he _ is here.” Cullen growls as he feels a headache prod at him, causing him to clench his fist, eying his philter in the decorative box on the corner of his desk, Katie seems to notice as she reaches over, snapping the box shut. “Wha-”

 

“You know that Kaleigh would be disappointed if you even thought of it.” Katie says, causing Cullen to look at the young girl in shock, but she smiles at him, her nose wrinkling as Cullen finds himself watching the girl, surprised at the sudden thought of how much she looks like her sister. “Anyway, they’ll be back in two weeks. Declan’s just pouting.”

 

“Right, I suppose that will give us time to work on things around the stronghold.” Cullen sighs. “I’m just worried, she’s just barely healed- isn’t she overworking herself?”

 

“That’s Kaleigh.” Declan speaks up. “She’ll push herself until she either can’t, or finishes what she deems is enough for the time being.” Declan snorts, rolling his eyes as he looks pointedly away from Cullen and Katie. “Doesn’t help that she hates sitting still.” He sighs.

 

“You’re more angry that she left without you. I don’t like being left behind either, but she has more than enough people with her.” Katie argues, that’s when Cullen notices that she’s fidgeting with those “goggles” that she brought from her world, and he sighs.

 

“Have either of you eaten?” Cullen finally asks, causing the smaller ginger to look at him.

 

“Yes. We both did.” Declan answers for her, and Cullen nods, moving towards the door.

 

“Then, Declan, why don’t you and I spar, and Katie can practice her throwing knives.” He gestures for them to leave first, the siblings exchange looks, before following him out of the office, down to the sparring and training grounds.

 

_ ~Back with Kaleigh~ _

 

Sitting on a my bed roll by the fire, rain pours down around the covered area, and I prod the flames with a stick as Fenris shifts on his bed roll, slowly sitting up with half of his hair sticking up since it’s down from the ribbon that is currently tied around his wrist. A few feet away, under the cover of the tents, Varric is snoring in sync with Elijah, Solas is exploring the fade, undeterred, Aveline is softly snoozing beside Merrill and Bruno, Hawke’s hound that was tailing us since Skyhold, leaving Fenris and I to take up places beside the fire for the night. “Haven’t you slept yet?” I look up at Fenris, smiling weakly as the mark in my hand flucatates from the presence of the Rift in the middle of the lake.

 

“It’s rather difficult to sleep, when your hand is trying to boil you alive every time you try to close your eyes.” I explain softly, before I poke the embers of the fire once more, rousing it awake.

 

“I apologize.” Fenris murmurs, causing me to raise an eyebrow at him.

 

“What for?” I ask, looking at him through my eyelashes as he flattens his hair, pulling it back with the green ribbon.

 

“For the agony that you must be going through, I cannot imagine the pain you’re in.” His words cause me to snort, lolling my head to the side, looking out at the water.

 

“You say that, but I think your agony is much worse. I know that there are things that react to your brands, causing you pain.” I state, looking back at him as he nods.

 

“Yes, but I have grown accustomed to the pain,  _ you _ haven’t.” Fenris argues.

 

“Nobody should have to grow accustomed to pain.” I state, hugging my knees to my chest, Fenris frowns before he stands, circling the fire to where he lowers himself to sit beside me, and wraps his arm around my shoulders, holding me as I smile at him.

 

“What bothers you?” He inquires, causing me to frown, looking at him in confusion. “You’ve never been able to hide anything from me.” He points out, causing me to nod, leaning into his touch as I stare at my hand.

 

“It’s going to kill me.” He stiffens at this. “Not now, not in a week, or even a year, but one day. One day it will destroy me from the inside out, and… Varric had a point to worry, but I don’t want to burden others with my fears, fact or truth. It’s not their job to worry for me, it’s my job to worry for them.” I bite my lip, letting out a shaky sigh. “How can I help those who rely on me, when I can do nothing for them?”

 

“It helps to have those you can rely on.” Fenris states, speaking slowly. “But, you do everything by doing what you always have. You are the only one that is facing these rifts, the only one who can control them.” He slips his arm from my shoulder, reaching for the marked hand, and winds his fingers through my own, the lyrium in his skin glows, and my hand crackles, sparking in reaction, before dying down as I stare at Fenris’s hand in surprise, before look at him as he smiles kindly. “You are not alone, despite the fact that you think you are. You have quite a few people, who care for you, and whether you want us to, or not, we  _ are _ going to worry for you. It’s natural.” Fenris explains, causing me stare at him in shock, before smiling as I let out a light laugh. “What?”

 

“You may have changed, but you still have similar thoughts.” I state, and his brow furrows, before his eyes widen in realization.

 

“I have said this before, haven’t I?” His question makes me laugh again.

 

“Yes.” I nod. “You said that to me after the first few months we had met, it’s what pulled me from my depression.”

 

“Forgive me for my recycling, of words.” Fenris says, and I shake my head.

 

“It’s alright, I appreciate that you’re trying to cheer me up.” I nudge his shoulder with my own, and notice that he’s yet to let go of my hand, causing me to stare at it, before looking at up at him as he smiles softly at me. “Fen…?” He reaches out to caress my cheek, causing heat to encroach my cheeks, burning at I lean into his hand, enjoying the contrast of our temperatures.

 

“You are…  _ infuriating _ .” He states, causing my brow to furrow, and he shakes his head, dropping his hand as he stands, walking off into the rain, leaving me behind, feeling completely confused. The next few days of traveling through Crestwood are tense, specifically between Fenris and myself, but also between Solas and Fenris, the bald elf eying the white haired elf with a scrutinizing eye, I mostly keep my head down but, I can  _ feel _ Fenris’s eyes boring into me as I become lost in thought, the feeling of guilt starts to eat at me of the death of villagers that we were too late to save from the dead and adds to the confusion of Fenris and I’s interaction from that night.

 

Once we get to Caer Bronach, Solas and Merrill split from the group to help the healer that have requested assistance, Hawke sets up in one of the tents with Bruno and Fenris, while I drag my aching body up the stairs to my private room, away from the others. Falling into my warm bed, I lay there in dripping leathers, my hair, which is curling from the humidity, falls in my face, weighing heavily from the length, the rain, or the stains of blood, and I finally let out a groan as I sit up in my bed. Unsheathing my knife from my boot, I grab my hair at just below my shoulders, slashing right through the thick locks. Ginger curls to flutter to the floor as I stare at them, a slight prickling burns my eyes as I remember the reason I grew my hair. I stand staring at the engagement ring on my finger, and I finally rip the gold band off with a scream of rage, chucking at the door, which swings open, causing the person opening it to duck. “What was-?” Fenris falls silent as he stares at me as I heave deep breathes, turning to shove the bookcase, against my wall, to the floor, books falling out of it as tears burn and trickle down my cheeks. “Are you-”

 

“ _ GET OUT! _ ” I shout at him, whirling around to glare at him. “GET. OUT!” He merely blinks at me as I pick up a book, chucking it at him, which he merely dodges, before he disappears from the door, and I start to shove my binds of my leathers away, struggling against the heavy wet and tight material. Finally, I shove the top down to my waist, leaving me in my blue tunic, dropping to the floor to press the heels of my hands to my eyes, my mark fluctuates with my storm of emotions, and when a warm hand settles on my shoulder, I look up through my fingers to see Fenris is sitting before me, holding the ring out for me. “I don’t want it.” I snipe at him, and he shakes his head, grabbing my hand to slide it back into place.

 

“Yes, you do. If for nothing, but to remind you of the pain he’s caused.” Fenris answers, linking his fingers through my own, my lip trembles as tears fall down my cheeks. Fenris pulls me into his lap as he settles on the floor against my bed, carding his fingers through my freshly cut hair, trying to sooth me as I hiccup and sob tears, clinging to his tunic as he shushes me. After a while, my tears are dried, he rubs my back as I rub my eyes, wiping my face from the tears that left tracks down my dirt covered face. “Are you alright?” He finally asks, and I nod as scoot from his lap, carding my fingers through my short hair as I sniffle.

 

“It’s… so much,  _ too _ much.” I press my palms to my eyes. “Everyone expects so much of me, and then I fail, even a little, and it  _ hurts _ .” I sniffle. “It just  _ hurts _ so much!” I choke out as I hug my middle, feeling my head pulsing, and my stomach squeezing.

 

“You aren’t at fault.” Fenris brushes my bangs from my face, lifting my chin with two fingers to look into my eyes. “You put so much pressure on yourself, you’ll physically make yourself sick with the stress.” He shakes his head. “You can’t save everyone, nor control everything that others do. I want to help you, but the only one who can do that, is  _ you _ .”

 

“How?” I sniffle, curling into myself.

 

“Tell yourself that you're not responsible for every death that happens. That you’d never wish death on someone undeserving.” Fenris soothes, and I nod.

 

“It’s not my fault. I’m not responsible for every death that happens. I’d never wish death on someone undeserving.” I murmur, causing Fenris to caress my hair, and I keep repeating it like a mantra, the tension in my stomach lessening as I finally feel that I can uncurl from the ball I’m in.

 

“There you go.” Fenris smiles as he places a gentle kiss to my forehead, and takes my hand in his, lifting me to my feet as my nose wrinkles, before a tiny sneeze rips out of me. “I’ll have the servants come prepare a bath for you, in the meantime, you need to get changed. You’ll catch a cold in those wet leathers and tunic.” He gives my hand a reassuring squeeze, and disappears out my door as I shed my leathers completely, along with my tunic, pulling on some black leather breeches, and a white tunic from my traveling pack. After about ten minutes, I hear a light tapping on my door, before it opens to reveal five servant with buckets of water over each shoulder, and they enter the room, walking over to the tub to fill it, before all but one leaves. She activates the warming rune, before nodding her head in respect, then gathers my destroyed locks, scurrying out of the room with a light skip in her step, closing the door behind her so that I can strip, and sink into the rapidly warming water, relaxing my aching body into the water. My head feels heavy as I wash my body and hair, before relaxing against the side of the tub, my eyes fluttering shut as I doze off, feeling exhausted from my tears and stress the past few days.

 

The next morning, I step down the staircase from my private room, I stretch out my arms in front of me, my fingers interlocked, causing my joints to pop as I bend my back, and let out a soft yawn, tossling my red locks as I start down the lower encampment. Walking over to where the others are huddled around the fire, stooped over their bowls of stew so the rain doesn’t get into their food. I grab a bowl of stew from the cook, crossing over to the bench Fenris is sitting on before, I drop on the edge beside him, nudging him as he smile at me in greeting. “Morning, guys.” I greet, causing them all to look up, and Elijah freezes, his bowl toppling to the ground of the keep as he stares at me. “W-What?” I ask, noticing that Solas is staring as well, though his is mostly shock, whereas Elijah’s expression is one of shock and, almost, pain.

 

“Your hair, Gizmo.” Varric states, causing my brow to furrow.

 

“What about it?” I ask, causing him to shake his head, and nudge Hawke in the side, causing him to snap out of his stupor.

 

“It’s just like when we met!” Merrill chirps happily, causing me to blink, hesitantly reaching up to run my fingers through it, before I let out a laugh.

 

“I guess it is.”

 

“No,” Aveline answers. “No guessing, if you weren’t almost 11 years older, you’d look identical to when you first came to Thedas.” She explains, causing me to drop my hand, biting my lip as I stir my stew in thought.

 

“It’s beautiful.” Solas states, causing me to blush as I take a bite of the stew, scowling at the thought that runs through my head, and Fenris dips his head to look at me as I shake my head, causing him to nod, a silent conversation habit that we’d picked up on in Kirkwall.

 

“We need to hurry up, so we can meet up with Stroud.” I state as I stand, eating as I walk over to the requisitions table, looking through the list of requests we’ve been given. “Shouldn’t have cut it.” I mutter to myself as I grab parchment, scribbling the list of items needed, before I deposit my empty dish in the bin, and start towards the stables. Walking over to my Brecilian Sure-Foot, which I decide to name Cinnamon, I start to set up her tack, starting with grooming her, then add the saddle blanket, and my custom made saddle, tightening the stirrup hobles before I move onto her bridle, adjusting it so it’s comfortable when I hear a stone tap across the floor. Glancing over my shoulder, I see Solas standing in the doorway, knowing that he wouldn’t accidentally kick a stone, I know he did it to alert to a presence, and I turn to him fully, tilting my head at him as I cock my eyebrow up in question.

 

“I apologize, if I offended with my comment, at the fire.” He states, causing my brows to furrow in confusion, and he clears his throat. “You had a stormy expression after my comment, and I notice that the white haired elf and you seemed to communicate something.”

 

“Fenris. His name is Fenris.” I state, turning to the gate to slip out, brush and curry comb going into the bucket, hanging on Cinnamon’s stable stall, as I pass it, wiping hay from my leather leggings. “He and I got close in Kirkwall, we developed a communication between ourselves, and that is what the conversation, for lack of better word, you saw us have was.” I explain as I come to a stop before him. “As for the comment, it didn’t cause my stormy expression- memories did.”

 

“Memories?” Solas’s inquiry is an open one, leaving me free to answer how I see fit.

 

“Before I came to Thedas, it was a week or so before my wedding, actually, and I was so busy with things, floral arrangements, guest placements, invitation RSVPs, the usual list.” I shake my head as we leave the stables. “My hair had gotten so knotted and bushy from the lack of usual care for it, and I took a day to myself, and got my hair cut to this length.” I roll my eyes as Solas nods. “I went to show Michael, and he hated it, yelled that it’s going to ruin our photos for our wedding, and how could I have done something so stupid.” I let out a sigh. “I think it’s a good thing he married Marie, the more that I think about it.”

 

“Oh?”

 

“He wasn’t in love with me.” My answer is one that causes Solas to take a step back in surprise. “He was in love with the idea of me.” I shake my head. “When you said ‘love’ back in Haven, it was like I reverted back to a teen, sneaking out late with Michael, and going on dates with him, and it  _ hurt _ to think about, because even if he didn’t love me… I still love him… I always will.” I let out a sigh. “It’s not fair to anyone who shows more interest to me than friendship, and platonic interest, because I  _ love _ someone else, and I don’t think I will ever be able to love someone else. That’s why I got scared, when you said it.” I explain as I lean against the side of the stables, Solas to frowns as he sighs.

 

“You put yourself in such predicaments.” He caresses my cheek. “You aren’t as oblivious to the affections you earn, as you appear.”

 

“No, I know that Cullen and Fenris both feel deeply for me. I feel…  _ something _ for them, but it’s confusing.” I huff a lock out of my eye, and look at him as he clasps his hands behind his back. “I’m not oblivious to your affections either.” He gapes as his cheeks turn pink, the tips of his ears echoing the same. “I just know that you are my confidant, and you would not choose me over your call.” His mouth snaps shut. “I, sometimes, wish that I hadn’t come here.” I look out at the rift in the lake of Crestwood, my eyes feel warm with tears pricking behind them.

 

“Why?”

 

“Because, I have hopes, expectations, dreams that have to do with this world, and they will never come true. I  _ feel _ the love that others have here, and while I have parental love, and sibling love, I never had  _ true _ love.” I explain, and his ears droop a bit.

 

“It’s a sad thought.”

 

“Then I remember the friendships I made, the adventures I’ve had. I wouldn’t trade it for the world.”

 

“Given the choice, what would you choose?”

 

“What?” I look at him.

 

“Given the choice, what would you do? Would you choose to go home? Would you choose to stay here? Would you choose to… go with me?” He inquires, causing me to blink in surprise.

 

“You’d have me go with you? A human? Me?” I specify.

 

“That is an option.” Solas answers. “You would not be at my side at all times, but you wouldn’t be in any danger. I do travel a path that will only end in death for myself.”

 

“You’d-” I bite my lip, looking down. “I would be in a temple at all times, wouldn’t I? Just like the temples with the sentinels of old. I wouldn’t be permitted to be with you in public, only behind closed doors.”

 

“Yes, at first. But, you’d have a place amongst the highest of the world.” Solas states, causing me to shake my head.

 

“No I wouldn’t. I’m a human, I’d have no place in the world you are trying to bring back, I would like be murdered, or snubbed.” I let out a sigh. “You care for me, more than family, more than a friend, as a lover, and while I enjoy your friendship, you know I would not be welcome to the world you are trying to build.” I reach for him, brushing his shoulder free of dirt as his storm color eyes darken. “You would later see me a burden, and likely guide me into the eternal sleep. This is not an option, Solas.”

 

“You are sure?” Solas asks, grabbing my hand with one of his own, and cupping my face with the other. “You are truly sure that this is something you could handle? You say you feel friendship where I feel more, but I believe that is a lie you must tell yourself, to protect yourself from the truth.”

 

“What truth would that be, Solas?” I inquire.

 

“That you truly feel more, for myself, for one of the other men that hold affection for you. That you no long love the man you claim you do, because you still hold hope that he would love you if you returned.” He answers, causing me to look down as he rests his forehead against the top of my head.

 

“I feel confusion, I feel lost, and I cannot answer questions, which I have never asked myself.” I explain, and Solas sighs.

 

“A stubborn one.” He mutters cheerfully.

 

“You are the stubborn one, Solas. You ask me to come with you, but you forget what I would be leaving behind. A sister who nearly forgot my existence, and a brother who lost 7 years with me, friends that helped me when I was lost, and a new family that took me in when I was alone.” I shake my head. “We can have this circular conversation, and you can try to destroy the world that you are trying so hard to help save currently. You are a contradictory, and I am one as well, but I have more to lose than just my touch to outside.”

 

“You are… correct.” He sighs. “I apologize for asking such a conflicting question. I find it difficult to think of these things.”

 

“Solas, you have more to lose too.” I point out, causing him to frown.

 

“What do you mean?” He asks.

 

“Look at the friendships and companionships you’ve built here. The  _ life _ you’ve made, and you are will to throw it all away!” He frowns. “You have a common with Varric, you enjoy the lore behind his stories, and you both care for Cole, in your own ways, but in ways you cannot deny. You play Wicked Grace with Varric, Bull, Blackwall, and Sera, and you drink with them, you talk with them- You play chess with Bull on our adventures,  _ without _ a board, neither of you cheat. You are teaching Declan to control his magic, to put into his sword play! You have more connection here, than you believed.” He blinks, and I shake my head, pulling away from him. “Just think upon it, before you decide this world deserves the fate you intend to trust upon it.” I state, moving away to enter the keep, and go back to my room to pack up for the rest of our journey, of which Solas is rather quiet, even with the quips that Varric throws at him. It’s a very quiet trip back to Skyhold as well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New: tumblr page for the story- https://gamergirl2170-arts-updates.tumblr.com

**Author's Note:**

> Anything that is underlined, means it's in Kaleigh's native language. If it's in past tense and italics, it's in the past, and if it's just italic without quotations, it's a thought.


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